Bullet

I want to quit drinking or at lease slow down , but my husband drinks. I try quitting and don't have a beer all day and then he's walking around here with a beer in his hand and I can't stand it. I have to have one. What do u do when u have another drinker in the house? It hard to remove yourself from the situation when the person live in the same house.

Lolipa

You have to decide you aren't going to participate. There is a reason you came here and a reason you want to quit. Think about that reason and let your husband know you are going to stop. He doesn't have to quit but might keep your feelings in mind until you get a bit stronger in your resolve. Just my two cents. My husband still drinks, but he is able to have just a few and I am not able.

JK130

Yes, it is very hard. But, you can do it! Think of all the reasons you want to ditch alcohol. You can even write them down. Then as you begin to feel and see the benefits of sobriety, start checking things off ! After awhile, being sober will be your new normal.

sleepie

A surrogate beverage really helps me, when I am with friends I have a lot of diet peach iced tea on hand. Maybe attend meetings or something to get out of the house for awhile and be around some like minded folks? In the very, very early days of abstaining form alcohol I would not be able to be around a daily drinker.

least

When you want to be sober more than you want to drink, then you'll be able to stay sober whether your partner drinks or not. Do this for your own good.

Pondlady

I asked my husband if he'd refrain from drinking, till I was over the hump. He agreed and now we're both non drinkers!

BennyHill

Hello Bullet,
My wife drinks, does not bother me at all. I think of her as the odd bird-she can have a glass of wine or a beer with dinner! In my mind, that is a waste of time. Why have one when you can have 12, or the whole bottle of wine?
I look at it this way-I chose to stop because I am the alcoholic, nobody else has anything to do with my disease. If those around me drink, so be it. As long as they are respectful of my sobriety, that is!

Hawkeye13

My husband still drinks daily even though I've quit.
I learned to ignore it.
What he does is his business, so long as he doesn't hand
me a drink.

It is a bit hard in the beginning, but if you really want to be sober
you can do it.
I left the room he was in, and did my own thing.
I also drank herbal tea, fruit spritzers, etc. so I had a drink
in my hand too

Jacks123

My wife drinks on the weekends. Right now she is drinking a beer. But since I don't drink anymore I get cheesecake!!!

It gets hard sometimes but if I have to I will leave the room and play a video game in the bed room. She understands so it's all good. She knows I'm not mad at her.

I have made it very clear to her that I will not buy her alcohol. I will not drive her to get alcohol. I will not even get her a beer in the fridge. If she it too drunk to get up and get her own beer than you know what... too bad.

Delilah1

My husband still drinks beer daily. I was a wine drinker, so the beer doesn't tempt me, however, the smell annoys me now, especially when we go to sleep.

I agree about having a substitute drink in the house. Arizona Zero Green Tea and Iced Water with Lemon are my go to drinks now.

Soberwolf

Welcome

OCDDan

Bullet,
My girl friend drinks as well and sometimes gets plowed, that makes me sad because she gets knocked out of the game sometimes. It doesn't give me cravings because I know alcohol will lead to other things and ultimately end up poorly, (it could kill me or someone else). I do get that feeling to reach for her drink now and then but I've been able to resist it so far, for about four months now and it feels great to wake up with my mind in tack. good luck

Dan

Zufrieden

Hi Bullet,
My wife drinks at times (not much) and smokes a bit of weed but it really doesn't impact me much at all. A divide has just risen between her drinking and the possibility of me drinking. She offered to quit in solidarity with me but I didn't really want that for her. She's a normal woman who enjoys those substances responsibly. I'm not that person. Whether she drinks or doesn't is immaterial to the personal responsibility I have to taken on.
Best wishes,
Jonathan

Mountainmanbob

Well, when I first stopped drinking my wife took her wine out of the house. But, it was not a temptation for me for I knew that I was done with the drinking. I assured her of that and finally after 6 months or so she started drinking her (one glass) of wine each evening.

Until you are (very comfortable in your sobriety) it would be nice if your husband understood your condition and could come up with some ways in which to be of some help with your staying sober.

M-Bob

Berrybean

Hi Bullet - speaking as one who spent 20 years inwardly ranting about my partner never doing anything to help me, but refusing to ask (because 'he should bloody well KNOW what I need), can I ask - have you actually spoken to him about this? Not while he's actually drinking it, but just at another point in the evening. Sometimes what seems obvious to us, isn't so much to our partners (especially my pet idiot ).
Does he support this new desire for abstinence? (Not all those close to us are comfortable with the change, and sometimes need a lot of reassurance that they'll still have a part in our sober lives). Or do you think there is an element of active sabotage in his drinking at home?