Kallistia

I've seen a few posts, and felt this way myself in the beginning, how to handle situations involving alcohol by turning it down.

At first I lied about being on antibiotics.

Then came the forced casual "no not tonight"

It evoked into "thanks but I don't drink"

Before finally settling on saying "I don't drink" and if they press (as happened tonight "you don't drink?? Have you ever tried it? Here, try it!") I really no longer have any problem or feel at all uncomfortable admitting why. Seems it's the only answer some people will accept.

"Thanks, but I can't handle alcohol so it's easier to just not drink at all"

We've come a long way folks!

ScottFromWI

I really couldn't care less if people "accept" my reasons for not drinking. I don't drink because I'm an alcoholic and that's a good enough answer for me, which is all that matters
:-)

Tang

I haven't come as far as you, but I can say that I work with the most nosy self centered group of humans on the planet. Another open sober alcoholic became a pet project for one coworker to get drunk because he didn't believe he was really a "true alcoholic". Anyways, I've had to use a lot of creative excuses because the people around me just don't understand this affliction.

MIRecovery

I really have no desire to be around drinking or drinkers so I have created a life for myself where the people I socialize with are non drinkers or light drinkers. Trust me there are zillions of great people that fall in this category.

Last night went out to dinner and everyone had a beer (as in one beer) or a glass of wine. Had a great time but if people are drinking more than that I have better things to do with my time

least

If people press me after my "no thanks", I just say that I've already had more than my share of drinking.

zjw

i sometimes pondered jokingly but not jokingly saying that i'm a raging alcoholic you dont wanna give me that stuff!! ::with a crazed look in my eye:: But I have yet to be put in the i situation.

MIRecovery

I was in my grocery store a month ago and this sweet innocent probably first job 20 something has this wine tasting display setup. She gives me this big smile and says, "Sir, would you like a sample of the wine she was selling."

I looked her right in the eye and said, 'That would be a very bad idea because I'm an alcoholic and if I drank that it would kill me."

Poor thing melted into a puddle of jelly. I did add, "But thanks anyway."

Sudz No More

I just say I don't drink. I've never had someone push or question though a few have assumed the obvious and I was ok with that knowledge. I figure so what, better for me to not and nobody has ever looked at me poorly because I said I don't drink. Even if I can tell they realize it's because I've had a problem with it there is no big deal about it. So many of us have some kind of issue this one is just mine. I know several people who don't drink just because they don't like it or realize it's bad for you and I am just another person who chooses not to for whatever reason. If there is someone that has a problem with me not drinking, they are the ones with the problem.

Che

Thanks, Kallistia. I think it's really great that you can say "I don't drink" to people. Because I think when you say "not tonight" or "I'm on antibiotics," it feels like you're not really determined, because you're leaving yourself room to change your mind without anyone noticing or hold you accountable. So it's definitely progress.

Zufrieden

No thanks, I've completed my lifetime quota...

Kallistia

Negative - it had absolutely nothing to do with giving myself the opportunity to change my mind - it was knowing that no one would question a person on antibiotics not drinking and not encourage said person to just "have one" and since it was so early on I was not sure I was strong enough to turn down a drink offered to me - I took a baptism by fire approach from the get-go and did not isolate myself from alcohol and situations that involved alcohol, I just found my own ways to adapt to them without participating in them - also at the time I wasn't sure how to approach actually telling people I was no longer drinking. I decided that I would never be able to completely avoid it altogether so to be honest I decided to not even try.



The post itself was in regards to being proud of myself for no longer being uncomfortable saying I don't drink and admitting to someone I'm an alcoholic if they pressure me without outright using the term alcoholic.

And I have been pressured to drink in situations where others are drinking - many people like the phrase "it's just one drink" - and these are the people whom I tell I have a problem with alcohol. It normally shuts them up. My own mother tried pressuring me into drinking a glass of "wine" and we ended up exchanging words over it, turned out it was just sparkling grape juice (I am still not able to understand that one). Sadly those that were closest to my alcohol problems seem to be the first ones to try and get me to break. I think I cracked some friends up this weekend because they seemed as if they wanted to handle me with kid-gloves, when my son and I got there for the barbecue the first thing they did was let me know that there would be some people drinking there and asked what I thought would be best for me in that situation - my answer - "I don't drink, just because I don't drink doesn't mean that others cannot drink" and later it was like the elephant in the room when one of their guests asked if I had ever even tried alcohol and for me to give it a shot - they sat there wide-eyed like the man had jumped up on the table and exposed himself to me - I just told him I can't handle alcohol so I don't drink and that was the end of it.

I think you have read too much into or attributed some personal experience to my post that is not the case.

As an aside though, one of my biggest drinking buddies - we were turning them up together every weekend - no longer drinks. After a few weeks of her watching me not drinking while I watched her drink while we spent time together she put the bottle down herself and hasn't had a drink since thanksgiving day

Kallistia

Some people are just incredibly awful

Since they don't want to accept or understand...maybe you can be "allergic" to alcohol?

amyrose

I am sticking with the "gave it up for lent" with those I have drank with in the past. Unfortunately my crowd is the pushy sort - already getting a countdown by some to the 27th when they assume I will be back in action. Am determined not to worry about that for now and focus on day 23 today.

zjw

i swear this crap is only so important to others strictly so they can validate there own choices *sigh*

Che

I'm sorry I misunderstood. I can see the difference is very important to you. I'm glad you were able to help support your friend as well!

SoberCAH

I don't really do anything with people who are former drinking buddies of mine.

But I spent last week on vacation with waiters bringing me wine and drink menus and trying to serve me alcohol, and I told each of them that my wife and I don't drink.

This is a circumstance which repeats itself fairly regularly, so I am poised for it.

I wouldn't tolerate someone trying to make a project out of getting me to drink.

I try hard to start out with good manners and a polite demeanor, but I don't tolerate foolishness or pushiness.

Especially when someone doesn't understand that no means no.