Recovery with no meetings/sponsers/therapist
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 359
Does 6 months count as long term? (Or near to it)
I have. At first I stayed on sr religiously. Realized I was not using it in the means it was created for and took a break and now I check in from time to time or if I hit a really rough patch I login for a few days until...weather the storm so to speak.
No meetings, no sponsors, no rehab - however I do not discredit these either, everyone's path is theirs to walk and will lead them in their own direction. If it works I do not grudge them. I just woke up one morning after several attempts and hadn't even planned to stop drinking...I just decided that day I was no longer going to drink and have made it longer than I ever had in the past. A spontaneous day one based on never ever wanting to drink and feel the way I had been feeling again.
However - I DO NOT encourage anyone to try the path I took, I fully recognize that it is not the most effective, and is in actuality rarely effective. Find ways that work for you, find support, I'm not trying to sound condescending or arrogant, but do not think because I woke up one morning and said f--- it that it would be effective for others.
I have. At first I stayed on sr religiously. Realized I was not using it in the means it was created for and took a break and now I check in from time to time or if I hit a really rough patch I login for a few days until...weather the storm so to speak.
No meetings, no sponsors, no rehab - however I do not discredit these either, everyone's path is theirs to walk and will lead them in their own direction. If it works I do not grudge them. I just woke up one morning after several attempts and hadn't even planned to stop drinking...I just decided that day I was no longer going to drink and have made it longer than I ever had in the past. A spontaneous day one based on never ever wanting to drink and feel the way I had been feeling again.
However - I DO NOT encourage anyone to try the path I took, I fully recognize that it is not the most effective, and is in actuality rarely effective. Find ways that work for you, find support, I'm not trying to sound condescending or arrogant, but do not think because I woke up one morning and said f--- it that it would be effective for others.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
I'm searching for affordable therapy myself, because I feel in my gut that I won't have this SoB beaten unto I understand why regular intoxication looked like a viable alternative to reality.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
I drank, got drunk and stayed drunk because of the pleasure it gave me. I guess I am really simple that way. It set my cares aside, lubricated conversation, lowered inhibitions, provided an escape, all that stuff. But in simplest terms, it felt good. I drank because I liked how it felt.
This was repeated for decades until I didn't believe I could cope without it. The reality was far different, and it was that drinking was causing the situation I needed alcohol to cope with. I didn't really understand that for a while after I got sober, but it really was true. If I waited to stop drinking until I thought I understood why, I would still be drinking today.
This was repeated for decades until I didn't believe I could cope without it. The reality was far different, and it was that drinking was causing the situation I needed alcohol to cope with. I didn't really understand that for a while after I got sober, but it really was true. If I waited to stop drinking until I thought I understood why, I would still be drinking today.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 20
Yes, with the support of online forums. It is a choice that can work for some people. I read several books, including Allan Carr's Easy Way to Quit Drinking.
I have been posting on a different forum, but it isn't very active any more.
I have been posting on a different forum, but it isn't very active any more.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,424
Originally Posted by Thumpalumpacus 
I'm searching for affordable therapy myself, because I feel in my gut that I won't have this SoB beaten unto I understand why regular intoxication looked like a viable alternative to reality.
Beyond that, I designed my own recovery and continue to do so.
I read about how it worked, and did some of the "prelim" stuff myself
though journaling, etc. to get in touch with some of the core issues.
That way I was ready to just jump in and process.
Time is serious money with therapists, after all
Why I liked it was it helped me to identity / link behavior to likely cause.
Then I modified the behavior.
Talking it out with someone who knew the territory, so to speak,
was helpful but honestly I did most of the heavy lifting.
Some core issues for me were growing up in an alcoholic home
(My "model" for dealing with problems / pain was already drinking)
Low self-esteem covered by brash fake confidence (drinking made that easy)
Lifestyle (fitting in with poets and musicians--your issue too, right?)
Under that was fear / control--trying to "manage" my environment
and people around me and drinking away the anxiety when it didn't work.
Now, I mostly notice when I do these actions which was the point of therapy.
I recast what I'm doing when I notice, and I don't ever drink over it now.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i sobered up the first year alone. after a year i signed up here shortly there after I went to my first AA meeting. I dont go to AA regularly. but I do read here regularly now.
If i had to do it all over again I dont think i'd do it alone. But then again maybe I would.
But I'd think its a lot easier with some support.
If i had to do it all over again I dont think i'd do it alone. But then again maybe I would.
But I'd think its a lot easier with some support.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Gottalife
Lots of my friends did just that. We all played together, got drunk together, did stupid things together. We all drank huge amounts and behaved in a way that would get us a severe alcohol use disorder diagnosis. One by one they all stopped or moderated as other things in life became more important to them than getting wasted. And one by one they ceased to tolerate my continued drinking and deteriorating behaviour, till I was left on my own. That was quite a large number of people whose drinking might have qualified them as alcoholic.
Then I met another crowd, ten in all, we were all under forty, though I was the youngest at twenty one. We met in rehab where we learned of AA, which most of us didn't like. I completely missed the point. These guys were different to my friends, they drank like I did, they had lost control. They were a mixed bunch, one a closet drinker with enormous social anxiety, he was a qualified accountant, one was a biker, there were two with major anger issues and a few of us whose only problem was the booze, though in my case, I didn't think so.
What happened to us when we were discharged? Two went to AA and never drank again. The rest of us didn't. The accountant was the first to die, burnt his house down. Last time I saw him was through his window as he moved from one room to another trying to hide from us (his friends). His house burnt down that night.
The next was the biker, at a party in his flat he went to sleep in his room with a lighted cigarette. the matress smouldered all night and he choked on the fumes. The party continued until he was discovered in the morning. Then one of the angry guys died. Got puched in the head in a bar fight, fell and hit his head on the ground, which killed him. And so it went. By twelve months I was the only one still alive. Then I joined AA and never drank again.
Out of that group, 3 out of 10 eventually recovered which is a good result for the treatment centre. Of the three that joined AA, three recovered. Not a bad result there either. Of the ones that went on there own, none survived a year, tragic.
So I guess it depends on what type of alcohol problem you have, and whether or not you still have the power to choose. I think only a relatively small minority are like me and the treatment centre bunch. A much larger group would be the problem drinkers like my other friends.
Then I met another crowd, ten in all, we were all under forty, though I was the youngest at twenty one. We met in rehab where we learned of AA, which most of us didn't like. I completely missed the point. These guys were different to my friends, they drank like I did, they had lost control. They were a mixed bunch, one a closet drinker with enormous social anxiety, he was a qualified accountant, one was a biker, there were two with major anger issues and a few of us whose only problem was the booze, though in my case, I didn't think so.
What happened to us when we were discharged? Two went to AA and never drank again. The rest of us didn't. The accountant was the first to die, burnt his house down. Last time I saw him was through his window as he moved from one room to another trying to hide from us (his friends). His house burnt down that night.
The next was the biker, at a party in his flat he went to sleep in his room with a lighted cigarette. the matress smouldered all night and he choked on the fumes. The party continued until he was discovered in the morning. Then one of the angry guys died. Got puched in the head in a bar fight, fell and hit his head on the ground, which killed him. And so it went. By twelve months I was the only one still alive. Then I joined AA and never drank again.
Out of that group, 3 out of 10 eventually recovered which is a good result for the treatment centre. Of the three that joined AA, three recovered. Not a bad result there either. Of the ones that went on there own, none survived a year, tragic.
So I guess it depends on what type of alcohol problem you have, and whether or not you still have the power to choose. I think only a relatively small minority are like me and the treatment centre bunch. A much larger group would be the problem drinkers like my other friends.
I fall into the category of not being able to do it on my own and AA was the solution. I had tried a lot of different ways. Rehabs, psychologists, different wives, different jobs, will power, controlled drinking, other programs and I always returned to my best friend, confident, and lover name Vodka
AA member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 872
Originally Posted by Jacks123
I guess my whole thing is that I'm nervous going to an AA meeting by myself.
If you are in the UK I have all the helpline numbers..
Wishing you well.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Jacks123
I guess my whole thing is that I'm nervous going to an AA meeting by myself.
As has been suggested, try calling the local service centre and try to arrange to see someone in advance. It made recovery possible for me.
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
After nearly 30 years of drinking (the last 10 years I got drunk nearly every single day), I'm now nearly 7 years sober with a little F2F support from friends and family and a LOT of support from SR.
Find what works for you and work it!
Find what works for you and work it!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by Jacks123
I guess my whole thing is that I'm nervous going to an AA meeting by myself.
If you go to a meeting you'll be made really welcome, and everyone there will remember that feeling of being a newcomer and be ready and willing to help you any way they can.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Caribbean
Posts: 934
Hi Jacks,
In answer to your question, yes, i have happily remained sober just approaching 10 months if you consider that sufficient time. With the help of my faith which only became stronger, SR gratitude threads to remind me that life really isn't so bad to drink over. No other methods used except many changes with myself, activities, routines & the people i chose to associate with has all changed drastically. The 1st 6 months at least were hell on earth however i wouldn't trade one growing day in for a drunk day (or even a sip) for a million dollars! If you really truly want to become & remain sober i believe you can do it. If you don't, you will find every excuse known to mankind. Wish you all the best in your journey.
In answer to your question, yes, i have happily remained sober just approaching 10 months if you consider that sufficient time. With the help of my faith which only became stronger, SR gratitude threads to remind me that life really isn't so bad to drink over. No other methods used except many changes with myself, activities, routines & the people i chose to associate with has all changed drastically. The 1st 6 months at least were hell on earth however i wouldn't trade one growing day in for a drunk day (or even a sip) for a million dollars! If you really truly want to become & remain sober i believe you can do it. If you don't, you will find every excuse known to mankind. Wish you all the best in your journey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,183
Originally Posted by Jacks123
I guess my whole thing is that I'm nervous going to an AA meeting by myself.
One problem I have with all the regular AA meetings I've ever been to is, they pick on people when the group is small. Ask you to read something, pick on you to comment, etc. Sometimes people don't want to participate or talk, they just want to sit and absorb and learn, and it can be intimidating and off-putting to be dragged into participating when you don't want to. Reminds you of being picked to work a math problem on the board in high-school when you're totally unprepared.
Other groups (Smart, SOS, etc. etc.) can be less intrusive, if there are alternative options available for you. But if not, speaker meetings are a different format and in my experience it's easy to just sit quietly and check it out.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I definitely would encourage you to at least give the meetings a shot. If nothing else, it is a good thing to have f2f support and real time contacts if you hit a major bump.
Two other things I would suggest is that you look into mindfulness meditation and that you read about AVRT
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
Last but not least, join us and post daily on the 24 hours recovery connections where we commit not to drink or drug for that day.
It's a fun and supportive place and the ladies facilitating it are very sweet.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5835380
Also to join the class of March 2016 so you can get (and give) support from your peers who quit at the same time and are going through similar things
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-one-16.html
Look around, find what interests and click with you but also do not dismiss any options (that includes AA) off hand.
Two other things I would suggest is that you look into mindfulness meditation and that you read about AVRT
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ined-long.html
Last but not least, join us and post daily on the 24 hours recovery connections where we commit not to drink or drug for that day.
It's a fun and supportive place and the ladies facilitating it are very sweet.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5835380
Also to join the class of March 2016 so you can get (and give) support from your peers who quit at the same time and are going through similar things
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-one-16.html
Look around, find what interests and click with you but also do not dismiss any options (that includes AA) off hand.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Posts have been removed along with posts containing quoted content. A reminder than SR is not a forum to hold public arguments and disputes about recovery methods. Please keep your comments constructive and on topic.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
Originally Posted by Jacks123
Has anyone here been successful at staying sober for long term without going to AA meetings or therapy?
I have. I just used SR.
Not sure if I was ready to quit in the beginning, but I was certainly ready not to die.
SR helped convince me that lasting success was possible
I think the basis of any successful recovery is you have to want it and be prepared to do what it takes.
We're all scrambling up Recovery mountain.
Some find a guide integral to the process - be it SMART, Lifering, SOS , AA Rational Recovery or something else.
Others don't.
My advice is explore all your options and make an informed choice
D
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