Physical Recovery from Long term alchoholism
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Nands
When I finally quit drinking for the last time, I also had those few mini strokes, and I had many months of brain fog and confusion - I wondered if that would be the way it was now, or whether it would get worse.
I would be looking for the remote - and it was in my hand....or I couldn't find my glasses - cos I was wearing them...
one day I spent the morning walking around with one lens of my glasses having fell out...I thought my eyes were bad that day...
Things do get better...although I have to admit I am a little more dotty and eccentric than I used to be, I've learned to go with it.
I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else
I hope you'll find that things will right themselves too, with a little time
D
When I finally quit drinking for the last time, I also had those few mini strokes, and I had many months of brain fog and confusion - I wondered if that would be the way it was now, or whether it would get worse.
I would be looking for the remote - and it was in my hand....or I couldn't find my glasses - cos I was wearing them...
one day I spent the morning walking around with one lens of my glasses having fell out...I thought my eyes were bad that day...
Things do get better...although I have to admit I am a little more dotty and eccentric than I used to be, I've learned to go with it.
I'm not a danger to myself or anyone else
I hope you'll find that things will right themselves too, with a little time
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Thank you!
Dee thank you because it is the little stuff that I have a hard time explaining.
My counselor has me writing about some of my past good experiences. I think that is about opening my mind to the possible of good stuff to come if I just open my heart to it.
I have it so much better than many. I don't want to dwell on the past, but I need to remember that there is a lot that can make me an active person in the world and a lot that can make me happy.
I'll check in next week
Dee thank you because it is the little stuff that I have a hard time explaining.
My counselor has me writing about some of my past good experiences. I think that is about opening my mind to the possible of good stuff to come if I just open my heart to it.
I have it so much better than many. I don't want to dwell on the past, but I need to remember that there is a lot that can make me an active person in the world and a lot that can make me happy.
I'll check in next week
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,966
Hi Nands!
just wanted you to know my memory is pretty bad, too. I also have an abyss near me and I can lose something within 5 seconds....I don't understand it, but it's still here. I am really bad remembering names, especially at work and I work with a lot of women. It's embarrassing, but it's me, so I go with the flow.
Can you take a picture of where you park your van? Or a few pictures? Just delete them after you start it up and you're ready for the next day!
Sending you Lots of Love!!!
~SB
just wanted you to know my memory is pretty bad, too. I also have an abyss near me and I can lose something within 5 seconds....I don't understand it, but it's still here. I am really bad remembering names, especially at work and I work with a lot of women. It's embarrassing, but it's me, so I go with the flow.
Can you take a picture of where you park your van? Or a few pictures? Just delete them after you start it up and you're ready for the next day!
Sending you Lots of Love!!!
~SB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Thanks to all of you 
My new job has actually been extremely boring (LOL). They just haven't quite figured out how to effectively use me even though the need is there ... it is hard to do the training and stuff to get someone going and my boss is so overwhelmed with work it is hard for her to find time to give me work (I relate to that!).
I've had problems this week (with no stress going on) with feeling very weak and like I might pass out at times. The Cartiologist called me yesterday and said that since Sunday I have had 9 a-fib events and been in a-fib 26% of the time. I'm staying home today and will call them back to see what the readings are today. I already took my walker to work and am leaving it there because I can't manage any real distance with out it this week. I had no a-fib for months after leaving the hospital, but now it is back.
I still feel positive! You know the damage I've done is the damage I've done. Not drinking will mean some will get better and most won't get worse. It's just hard to have to wait so long for tests and stuff to figure out the next steps. Work is pushing that I should apply for disability, but I can't afford to do that. When I actually can't do the job and they have to let me go I will find a way to deal with it.
The encouragement I have gotten on this thread that I am not a looser because of my past alcoholism has helped me to keep to the more positive rather than the regret and fear.
I've got a handle on the car thing now I just had to learn some new landmarks from the car to the job and it just took longer than it would have in the past. But some of that is probably just age
Thank you all
My new job has actually been extremely boring (LOL). They just haven't quite figured out how to effectively use me even though the need is there ... it is hard to do the training and stuff to get someone going and my boss is so overwhelmed with work it is hard for her to find time to give me work (I relate to that!).
I've had problems this week (with no stress going on) with feeling very weak and like I might pass out at times. The Cartiologist called me yesterday and said that since Sunday I have had 9 a-fib events and been in a-fib 26% of the time. I'm staying home today and will call them back to see what the readings are today. I already took my walker to work and am leaving it there because I can't manage any real distance with out it this week. I had no a-fib for months after leaving the hospital, but now it is back.
I still feel positive! You know the damage I've done is the damage I've done. Not drinking will mean some will get better and most won't get worse. It's just hard to have to wait so long for tests and stuff to figure out the next steps. Work is pushing that I should apply for disability, but I can't afford to do that. When I actually can't do the job and they have to let me go I will find a way to deal with it.
The encouragement I have gotten on this thread that I am not a looser because of my past alcoholism has helped me to keep to the more positive rather than the regret and fear.
I've got a handle on the car thing now
I just had to learn some new landmarks from the car to the job and it just took longer than it would have in the past. But some of that is probably just age Thank you all
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Oh, Nands, I come from a long line of women who lose the sugar bowl because we put it in the refrigerator, who never remember where we parked, who have lost more sets of keys than I care to think about, who have locked dogs in cars with the engine running... I feel your pain there.
A few tips from an inherently scattered adult ADD type:
I write down where I parked on sticky notes sometimes--especially if I am someplace new.
I worked to train myself to always put my keys in the same spot every time.
I am currently working hard to always, always, always look at my calendar every evening and every morning (it's no good to write down an appointment when I never look at the calendar!)
And I now keep the sweetener right next to the coffee pot
Good luck to you in the new job!! I hope your doctors will be able to provide you with some relief soon!
A few tips from an inherently scattered adult ADD type:
I write down where I parked on sticky notes sometimes--especially if I am someplace new.
I worked to train myself to always put my keys in the same spot every time.
I am currently working hard to always, always, always look at my calendar every evening and every morning (it's no good to write down an appointment when I never look at the calendar!)
And I now keep the sweetener right next to the coffee pot
Good luck to you in the new job!! I hope your doctors will be able to provide you with some relief soon!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Hi nands, great to see you!
This is an extraordinary and very real and inspiring thread. I had a good whack of stuff going in response, then lost the text as so often happens, blast it. So just want to say before I get ready for beddy byes: I relate to pretty much everything you've experienced (bar the highest-end hospital crises as you've suffered). I'm astounded by your resilience too.
I support your very realistic approach to the aftermath of drinking (combined with ageing - I'm 60, nearly 61) - many things will improve, many things MIGHT improve and then...some simply won't get (even) worse. It's a delicate balance going through each day learning to manage whatever's going on, without going bonkers . Each person's journey is as different - and similar - as the next's. Bravo to you for telling your stories, reaching out and especially for raising this kind of dilemma in a clear-eyed way.
Hope to pop in again soon - I hope you do keep this thread going. I too tend to be an somewhat sporadic poster, latterly mostly a reader skipping about seeing what's going on with friends or newbies, and picking up some wisdom and encouragement from this marvellous global community.
xx Vic
This is an extraordinary and very real and inspiring thread. I had a good whack of stuff going in response, then lost the text as so often happens, blast it. So just want to say before I get ready for beddy byes: I relate to pretty much everything you've experienced (bar the highest-end hospital crises as you've suffered). I'm astounded by your resilience too.
I support your very realistic approach to the aftermath of drinking (combined with ageing - I'm 60, nearly 61) - many things will improve, many things MIGHT improve and then...some simply won't get (even) worse. It's a delicate balance going through each day learning to manage whatever's going on, without going bonkers . Each person's journey is as different - and similar - as the next's. Bravo to you for telling your stories, reaching out and especially for raising this kind of dilemma in a clear-eyed way.
Hope to pop in again soon - I hope you do keep this thread going. I too tend to be an somewhat sporadic poster, latterly mostly a reader skipping about seeing what's going on with friends or newbies, and picking up some wisdom and encouragement from this marvellous global community.
xx Vic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
well,
I lied. When the dr. told me to go directy home and do a manual download of my heart monitor, I didn't go directly home. I picked up 2 liters of voka and then went home and did the download. The next morning after drinking 1 liter I called my dr and they did a medical detox as the heart thing is pretty bad if I detox unsupervised.
My son threw the 2nd bottle away for me. I'm clean now. My boss's boss (who is also one of my friends) was to go to a meeting with me at HR to talk about disability and retirement before all this happened. She arranged it so HR came with her to the hospital to go over my options. There numbers were the same as mine, but they had some extra ideas that might help.
It is to my advantage to retire on December 1st and I can use sick days, vacation days and overtime days to cover from now till then. I have to let them know by Wednesday. I'm 99% sure I will retire. My councelor and I have been working on ways to insure that retirement doesn't become a dive into the bottle.
The weird thing is, on Saturday when in my heart I decided to retire regrdlesss of the financial problems it will cause...I felt REALLY hopeful for the first time since last May.... like I may now have a life worth living that I can fill with meaningful things to me.
It's a hard sell to my Mom and Son because they will ultimately end up financially effected. When I described the feelings I had about retiring, my mom got on board. For my son it is harder. He is afraid I will just fall in the bottle and he knows we will have to give up a lot of stuff we are use to having to make it financially (unless he gets a job).
My brother has been a big help. When I go "what the heck did I drink for? it made no since!" He just tells me "well, looking back it makes no sense, but at the time it seems like a good idea".
Even though I'm not an AAer, I will be going to a meeting everyday. I'll have counceling twice a week, group trama therapy once a week, coffee with friends twice a week, work on a poetry/art project every day and study and practice my Buddhism daily.
If I can't make it financially or I start seeing drinking looking good, I will get a non-state job part time to help out.
Long post. Long week. but such a feeling of hope once I said yes to retirement!
I lied. When the dr. told me to go directy home and do a manual download of my heart monitor, I didn't go directly home. I picked up 2 liters of voka and then went home and did the download. The next morning after drinking 1 liter I called my dr and they did a medical detox as the heart thing is pretty bad if I detox unsupervised.
My son threw the 2nd bottle away for me. I'm clean now. My boss's boss (who is also one of my friends) was to go to a meeting with me at HR to talk about disability and retirement before all this happened. She arranged it so HR came with her to the hospital to go over my options. There numbers were the same as mine, but they had some extra ideas that might help.
It is to my advantage to retire on December 1st and I can use sick days, vacation days and overtime days to cover from now till then. I have to let them know by Wednesday. I'm 99% sure I will retire. My councelor and I have been working on ways to insure that retirement doesn't become a dive into the bottle.
The weird thing is, on Saturday when in my heart I decided to retire regrdlesss of the financial problems it will cause...I felt REALLY hopeful for the first time since last May.... like I may now have a life worth living that I can fill with meaningful things to me.
It's a hard sell to my Mom and Son because they will ultimately end up financially effected. When I described the feelings I had about retiring, my mom got on board. For my son it is harder. He is afraid I will just fall in the bottle and he knows we will have to give up a lot of stuff we are use to having to make it financially (unless he gets a job).
My brother has been a big help. When I go "what the heck did I drink for? it made no since!" He just tells me "well, looking back it makes no sense, but at the time it seems like a good idea".
Even though I'm not an AAer, I will be going to a meeting everyday. I'll have counceling twice a week, group trama therapy once a week, coffee with friends twice a week, work on a poetry/art project every day and study and practice my Buddhism daily.
If I can't make it financially or I start seeing drinking looking good, I will get a non-state job part time to help out.
Long post. Long week. but such a feeling of hope once I said yes to retirement!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I am officially retired. I've had a number of disturbing "getting lost" issues the last 2 days, but I'm working on how to make this work. My family is disappointed in me and do not want to know anything more about what is going on with me. I understand, long time alkies hurt people and at some point the people who love us have to put up a wall to survive. I've received a lot of support from my trauma group. I have numbers, people to have coffee with and people who do believe in me
For 27 years I have been a career woman and loved it, so today has been a bit hard. But I believe that once I get through the next few days my excitement for this new stage of life will return.
You guys are great!
For 27 years I have been a career woman and loved it, so today has been a bit hard. But I believe that once I get through the next few days my excitement for this new stage of life will return.
You guys are great!
Matt M
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 490
I've seen some people mention memory issues here.
Mine is a bit of a weird mix.
I forget some stuff but I also find myself remembering incidents from many many years ago, things that I've never thought about before.
Mine is a bit of a weird mix.
I forget some stuff but I also find myself remembering incidents from many many years ago, things that I've never thought about before.
Woe is Moo.
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Just wished to let you know, dear Nands, that this thread has keep me in check this week. I never had seen it before, so was read little bit everyday. Very powerful. Thank you.
Alcoholism and "recovery" is both very tough gigs, but you handle with as much grace and honesty as I ever seen. ~Moo Mwah from Cow
Alcoholism and "recovery" is both very tough gigs, but you handle with as much grace and honesty as I ever seen. ~Moo Mwah from Cow
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Thank you Cow and all of you.
Just in case it does help......
I don't need a memory test to know there is a problem with my memory that is significant, I realize now the test is to figure out which memory issues are the one's we need to adapt to cause there are lots of memory issues you can develop in aging and especially in alcoholism even after sober.
My latest sober adventure with memory issues and confusion was pretty scary.
It was dark and I was driving home from counseling. Now I have always had trouble figuring out the roads to go home or to the counseling office.. But this time I made a turn too early and then didn't recognize the landmarks. After an hour of wondering around I decided to try an go back to the counseling office and start over.
Unfortunately when I tried to "go around the block" (turn left then left again to get back to my starting point.
I turned left, and came to a stop sign and stoped before turning left again. It was an unmarked train track. So I was stuck on the tracks and unable to get out.
4 police cars and 8 police later along with 8 workers from a car shop a block away, we got the train on the line stopped and were able to pull my van off the tracks. I was just honest about how it had happened and the police told me the train track crossing was not well marked and I was not the first person this has happened to. So maybe I'm not totally brain dead LOL
The cops gave me the directions to get home and told me that anytime I get lost I should call 911 and someone will help me get orientated. They also suggested not driving at night as that can cause more confusion.
No ticket, no charge for pulling my car out. People are good!
Just in case it does help......
I don't need a memory test to know there is a problem with my memory that is significant, I realize now the test is to figure out which memory issues are the one's we need to adapt to cause there are lots of memory issues you can develop in aging and especially in alcoholism even after sober.
My latest sober adventure with memory issues and confusion was pretty scary.
It was dark and I was driving home from counseling. Now I have always had trouble figuring out the roads to go home or to the counseling office.. But this time I made a turn too early and then didn't recognize the landmarks. After an hour of wondering around I decided to try an go back to the counseling office and start over.
Unfortunately when I tried to "go around the block" (turn left then left again to get back to my starting point.
I turned left, and came to a stop sign and stoped before turning left again. It was an unmarked train track. So I was stuck on the tracks and unable to get out.
4 police cars and 8 police later along with 8 workers from a car shop a block away, we got the train on the line stopped and were able to pull my van off the tracks. I was just honest about how it had happened and the police told me the train track crossing was not well marked and I was not the first person this has happened to. So maybe I'm not totally brain dead LOL
The cops gave me the directions to get home and told me that anytime I get lost I should call 911 and someone will help me get orientated. They also suggested not driving at night as that can cause more confusion.
No ticket, no charge for pulling my car out. People are good!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Not yet, but I will this week, things shut down for 2 days for thanksgiving. But I'm glad you mentioned this cause even though they know of similar problems I need to keep the Neurologist and my primary doctor aware. Perhaps they will push the tests up a bit so we can figure out what I can and can not do.
It's hard to accept a disability for a whole lot of different reasons. But I know I need to understand and have a plan to keep me and others safe from what is going on.
I am feeling a bit happy right now because I am retired, don't have to drive at night and have all day to sort through the lost paperwork
Thank you Dee!
It's hard to accept a disability for a whole lot of different reasons. But I know I need to understand and have a plan to keep me and others safe from what is going on.
I am feeling a bit happy right now because I am retired, don't have to drive at night and have all day to sort through the lost paperwork
Thank you Dee!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
