sleepie

That is some good news Dee and Ananda I have a feeling you will overcome and succeed, you are right I think about some reaching a point of no return in their minds. You are striving still and I can see such strength in your words.

soberclover

I've learned to accept my physical and processing challenges as I had to accept being an alcoholic and unable to drink no matter what. I try to practice patience with myself and to apply a lot of humor to the situations.....such as when I'm teaching a class and completely forget where I was going with a thought or walking down the hall and bounce off the wall.....because I teach in the health realm I can and am honest about my challenges because of my alcohol/drug use so that my students can learn through me. Being able to be completely honest with people about my challenges helps too. I had to change doctors because I needed to start new and be completely honest.

Great thread!

Ananda

thank you all!

I think the accepting with humor and moving on is important. Unfortunately, in my position, admitting to an alchohol problem would be detrimental to my department. I can do so if I wish, but I told my boss I think admitting to this issue would probably harm the trust of the faculty, staff, and others. I can admit to the problems with humor and work through it... but I'm not comfortable telling more than a few people what the cause is. This will change in time, but not now.

I've been troubled today, but the one thing I know is don't drink. And some of my numb spots are just a bit smaller

Thank you all and I'll post soone I think it is important to talk about this

Ananda

Just wanted to keep this thread going because I think it is an important discussion.

My numb spots are shrinking. The one on my knee and my thumb have been there for over a year, but my knee numb spot had gotten much larger and is now shrinking back to where it was almost... the new elbow numb spot was very large and although it is still pretty much close to as large, there is no longer the shooting pain as often.

The (what we use to call) the hersey squirts (lol) hit me last night and lets just say it required a bath, a change of sheets and a load of laundry at 3 am. But I was able to go with it and just clean up and go to bed for another hour

I had an "episode" during a stressful meeting of feeling some symptoms I associate with when I had heart trouble at Christmas (which I believe is related to the long term alcoholism).

My balance is still pretty bad, but I think that is the numbness in my feet that isn't enough for me to notice unless I pay close attention to it. In the past most of that has come back so I assume it will improve although balance may never be quite like it was. Heck ... who am I kidding! I've always been a klutz who can trip over her own feet (LOL). Having a rail on the stairway has always been a need of mine!

I MUST call my doctor today and make an appointment to go over these things. My tendency is to think there is nothing that will help, and although that is sometimes true...sometimes I'm 100% wrong. He will help me sort through it.

I'm not sure how I'm doing on the memory and ability to think clear. That one is gonna probably be harder to figure out. I tend to doubt myself a lot. I'm finding that although I am more error prone and more forgetful, I tend to assume it was me when at least 1/2 the time it was someone else who made the mistake or didn't respond. I'm not who I was in this area, but perhaps it isn't as bad as it seemed.

That is it for today Hope you all have a great day!

Nands

notgonnadrinknm

I used to have tremors, bu they eventually went away after several months of complete abstinence. How long have you been sober? My balance is terrible, but that's because I have insomnia and anxiety as a result of drinking and both of those conditions can cause a lack of balance.

Anna

Nands, I think you have a good attitude in accepting what is, and determining to not allow anything to get worse by drinking again.

Ananda

NotGonnaDrink,

I am just a few weeks sober at the moment. However from past sobrieties I know that after several years sober there were still certain damages to my stomach, pancreas, etc. that remained vulnerable to issues even sober. And the numb spots, balance problems and memory/processing brain functions improved but remained even after significant sober time.

So I do remain hopeful about some of these things getting better, it only makes since that some of these things may not get back to where they were. And heck.... I'm aging too .... it is the process of human life that we do not remain at the same place we were at 30 when we are 60 (LOL).

Acceptance of where my body is right now (which includes the brain) is key to moving on. Knowing that it is a constantly changing organism and will vary from day to day or year to year is important and gives me hope that this is all doable.

As Anna said ... knowing that drinking would only exacerbate the problem is an important thing to remember. The rest I can live with regardless of whether it improves or not

Just gotta keep talking about it and remember I'm not the only one going through this stuff (LOL I'm not that unique).

Have a great day all!

Nands

Misssy2

I have all the long lasting effects that you have. I am currently experiencing "diarrhea" since Nov of this year. The last 2 years..I have been on long binges on and off...many hospitalizations and needs for intraveneous fluids.....They are currently testing me for colitis..I do have chronic pancreatitis...too. ...If we want to pick up again..it will only get worse..it is a scary place to be and your not alone.

Ananda

I cannot thank you enough for this post Missy!

I thank you so much for having the courage to tell your experience. For me there is great benefit in hearing that others are still going to fight for sobriety despite past episodes of drinking. You probably made me feel the most like there are people like me out there than anyone has in the past year!

I remember realizing last week that I have as good a chance at staying sober as anyone else (including first time triers). I kept feeling like the "poster child" for the effects of alchohol, but that isn't all I am

We can stay sober! We can learn to deal with the "long term effects"!
We can do all of this!!!!

I will be wearing a heart monitor next week so they can figure out where all that is at. It is a result of binge and detox so many times. The danger is stroke, not heart attack as it is in the upper two chambers of the heart. It is very probable that the problem is that I'm having panic attacks rather than a real aphib problem... but they want to be sure about that.

Although the damage we do can be quite severe, the good news is that we have a chance if we stay sober and work through it. And honestly ... if for some reason anyone fails again ... there is every reason to rise back up immediately and keep on the path (whichever one we choose). It is never too late to work through this unless we are 6 feet under!



Nands

sugarbear1

Have you been checked for diabetes?

Sending you love and hugs!

Ananda

one of the side effects of the pancreatitis, caused by alcoholism, is that I do have diabetes. My A1s have been extremely good for the last 4 years. If I drink, the sugar reading gets high, but if I'm sober it stays decent.

My understanding (which could be wrong ... talk to your doctor) is that when the cause of the diabetes is from pancreatitis, medication is not the correct way to go, but rather diet. The medication they gave me when this started made the blood sugar drop so low that I was in true danger of dying from that .... so we regulated it through diet.

Although the neuropathy could be from diabetes, the Dr. thinks it is probably from the alcohol.... hard to tell.

I'm so happy to just be staying sober today! The other stuff I'm going to learn how to deal with, staying sober so it doesn't get worse is the most important thing I can do today for myself and for others in my life

Misssy2

your welcome...and 6 feet under....I used to feel so ABOVE that statement....I can tell you (as you know) when your body starts shutting down and it is BECAUSE we have abused our bodies with alcohol. The "6 feet under" comment becomes more REAL.

Its an awful feeling to see the foods you ate the night before in the toilet because your body can no longer digest them...because of alcohol.

I was told (not this last time) but the time before this in the hospital that I was a day or two away from dying...my organs were shutting down...and they were very concerned about my pancreatic enzyme levels. I felt like I was in a dream....ME? Its really affecting me that badly? And I leave the hospital...a couple weeks go by...and I figure...OK...they fixed me...gave me IVs...I'll just drink a little. Only to be off on another binge..for the month of January.

At the end of January...I felt like death....I called the hospital on myself...and that was the long stay - 9 days. Everything hooked up to me...even in intensive care for 2 days. BUT STILL...yesterday...I was thinking....WELL...I just won't LET that happen.,

I had to remind myself....that I have told myself "that won't happen" every single time in the last 2 years...and every single time it happens. I can not fool myself anymore...just like I think you shouldn't try and fool yourself anymore. This progressive condition of alcoholism...will kill us and I have been told by friends and family that they do not think I have another chance. I believe them.

I agree with you that if I don't drink...I can manage these health issues and they may even improve. I mean heck...people beat cancer....we can beat and manage pancreatitis...IBD...Colitis....

The best feeling is waking up in the morning...after having a more restful sleep (I still have a little insomnia)...but waking up somewhat refreshed and proud that I did not drink...is the best feeling. So I try to remember that feeling as the afternoon comes around...and the anxiety gets rough...and I think of a drink....Wish you the best of luck as I wish for myself and I hope to continue seeing your posts....in these rooms.

notgonnadrinknm

Hi Dee,

What type of insomnia did you struggle with? Did you have trouble getting enough sleep to feel rested? That's what I sturggle with. I can only sleep for about 4 or 5 hours. How long were you sober before you could sleep for long enough to feel rested if indeed that was your issue? Thanks!

Ananda

I'm gonna respond....

I have trouble because I fluxuate between sleeping way to much (16 hours a day .... to not being to sleep more than 5 hours ....

My experience is that in past sobrieties it took time to "reset" my sleep. I needed antidepressants to alleviate the desire to just shut down, but I then needed a sleep aid (which many would warn against) to get a full night of sleep.

For me the combination has worked in the past, although it took a bit more than a year to get things straight. My current doctors won't do the sleep aid, so I'm working to find ways to get the 9 hours that is actually what works best for me.

People like to say you won't die from lack of sleep, but it actually can kill you from the side affects. So I recommend you work with your doctor on a plan. If that isn't going well .... come up with some solutions of your own. I think there are some insomnia threads in the mental health section that might give some suggestions.

The biggest thing is never give up and never surrender!!! There is an answer out there and you can find it!

Dee74

Hi notgonnadrink

I went from no sleep at all, to some sleep, to ok sleep to good sleep. That took about a month and I had no medical help with it.

The fatigue lasted a little longer - for the first 90 days I was wondering if I'd every find energy again,. but thankfully it got better after 90 days.

Hope that answers your question?

D

sleepie

Awesome.

LostLilly

Hi Amanda,

My Dad had a lot of those ssymptoms. Neuropathy so bad he could not walk from drinking. Physical therapy, not drinking, and good vitamins got him walking again months later. The body can heal. Just do not pick up another drink ever.

Lily

Jsbodhi

Hi! Xoxo
Thanks for sharing your story.

My insomnia was like dee's.
Zero sleep, sometimes a couple hours, then 4-5 hours, then regular sleep.
Sometimes I have a sleepless night here and there, but it's pretty good now.
All it took was not drinking- alcohol seriously messes my sleeping up.
Xo
You're doing great.

I was pretty early in my alcoholism- but my entire hands and sometimes up my arm were numb and tingling on and off, my toes as well.
I don't have diabetes and I'm not sure if it was alcohol related, I was too scared to go to a doctor.
But that's gone away now too. Xo
Alcohol affects my body really badly, even in small amounts, I was blacking out every single time I drank ( binge drinker) even after only 4-5 drinks.
It never used to be that way- then one day it just was, I started getting crazy when drunk too- when I used to be fun.
It all just switched.
I'm 33 and was binge drinking since 17 though, so I my body had enough.
The weirdness started just over a year ago- I kept binging anyway for a year after I knew it was getting bad ( it kept getting worse).
Then I found SR and people here saved me.

Ananda

yeah today was a bit of a physical struggle for me, but I know if I don't drink it will become at least manageable....

I had had less of the numbness by a bit and no shooting pains for several days. I did remember that because of the high sugar content of alchohol and the fact that I'm no longer doing ANY sugar could have contributed to the little bit of downgrade today. Don't know what the doctor would say, but it won't hurt me to eat something sweet occationally in case the lower blood sugar after the ramp up on my last binge is effecting me.

I was afraid to weigh myself after treatment. Partly cause I wanted to loose weight and partly cause I was afraid of what dramatic quick weight losses do to your body. So I bit the bullet and stepped on the scales. so....since January 3 (so that's 10 weeks about) I've lost 25 lbs. I needed to loose the weight and I'm thinking over a 10 week period, although it is dramatic... it probably isn't too horrid.

Alright ... I had to check in and chat cause work about drove me over the bend today. I still think I may have had some "minor" strokes over the past year that are effecting my memory but I probably will never know for sure and the expensive test will only verify, not change anything....

Hopefully the dr will get to me on doing the heart monitor soon...it's been almost a week and I'm feeling a bit tossed out (and I truly love my doctor ... he is one of the good ones).

Later

Nands

Dee74

glad to hear the update Nands

D