sleepie

LOL!
A looong time ago I had a meditation thread elsewhere here but nobody really took to it.

I have an eye condition for which yoga is seen as dangerous Another thing sleepie cannot do sigh... I'm sure you know if these things as a teacher. No inverted poses for me.

Rcvringaddict30

Aw, I wish I had been here for your meditation thread. That's great that you started one. Well, if you decide you'd like to revisit it, I would be interested.

Sorry to hear about your eye issue… Yes and versions are not good for anything like that. But you could still do other types of yoga practices and skip those if you wanted to.
At any rate, I hope you feel better and try to tune out the toxic behavior from those customers. I know it's very hard to do and once your shaken up it's hard to calm down. You are definitely not alone.

sleepie

Crap I realized I have missed my monthly benzo group too, again because of work. I cannot change my schedule and I always work on this day.

I am seriously considering quitting.

Kallistia

All I'm going to say is that be careful allowing someone that much power over you should you choose the route of allowing your boyfriend to care for things while you are between employment :/

sleepie

Oh, I'd never just rely on him.
But don't worry, he'd never in a million years do anything equating to power over me.
It's almost unreal. He drives me nuts at times because he is kind of an ignoramus when it comes to people and women. But he would never ever ever do anything to hurt me or be dishonest. The way my life is I don't really get good things and have had more than my share of awful people, being lied to, being taken advantage of and such. I mean he is good to me and I almost fear to think that maybe just maaaaybe this one single time I got a good thing. 'Cause the other shoe always drops in a big way in my life and like I said I am not really allowed good things.

Soberwolf

popping in to see how are you x

zjw

i've had to deal with a few choice customers over they years ones just like ou describe and some worse and some not as bad etc.. I do recall one in particular this arrogant guy that came in a bagle shop i worked at. He'd pull up in his ferrari with his little princess snot daughter park his car in the firelane cuase well he was that awesome. He' cut ahead of everyone in line. He'd loudly and agrily tell you to get a big bag. Then when you rung him up he'd try and stamp a frequent buyer card and get the dozen for free. After treating you like dirt through the whole process.

Me and everyone had finally had it he came in we all went to the back. made him wait. Manager demanded we serve him we said nope FF that guy! manager had to serve him from then on and after all the times of telling us to just smile and not and we are over reacting after he had to serve this guy a few times he'd come in the back and scream that the guy was such an A HOLE. We'd be like SEEEE!! If i where the manager i would have asked the guy to never come back tot he store thats just me.

I dunno how you get through a crap job sober but i do it every day. I despise my job. hate the people i work with I struggle to get anything accomplished. SImply finding another job isnt really a solution for me either.

I got some other ides but i lack ambition. I'm partly content in my own poo but i also dont want to get ambitious and chase after something else and raise my anxiety through the roof stressing about that now too so I just let things be and kinda float along with the flow.

I got an arrogant boss back stabbing co workers and get to listen to people on conf calls and such puff out there chests and swing there egos around. If they are so passionate about there job then it is nauseating to me also makes me wonder how come i dont care then? but then I think god theres more important things in life then this nonsense too!

I read a lot about just being content with how things are so that I can have inner peace and happieness. this approach works I guess but when it comes to my work its a big struggle.

I just get up each day take another crack at it and stay sober its about all i can do.

strategery

One of the things you should ask yourself, is how does drinking solve any of the stuff going on at your work? It doesn't. Alcohol is a horrible solution to any problem. With continuing to abstain, you can learn other ways of dealing with the work stress.

Find other things to do that your schedule allows. You may find new activities/hobbies that you enjoy.

Lastly, if you really hate the job that much, quit or don't sign up for any more shifts than you need to.

sleepie

I am done. Problem solved.

I am never, ever, ever working with people again. I won't do it.

sleepie

it is kind of stupid for me to keep going and giving my best when clearly it is not making me or the others involved happy.

zjw

your sanity has to come first!!!

in my case i'm stuck but believe me all the time i think perhaps i'll just walk off the job eat lima beans and figure something else out. Ya know sometimes the old sink or swim is the only solution.

But you cant be going there and then dishing out left overs to everyone else and driven yourself insane either.

zjw

the other thing to consider too is based on your OP if its coming down to your sobriety or you job personally i'd choose my sobriety. No job is worth trading that away for.

sleepie

I really sucked it up for a long time. I just don't want to do that to myself anymore. They don't seem to feel to bad about me leaving so I have to assume I was doing a crummy job. Not intentionally. Just I often try my hardest and it still isn't any good.

Soberwolf

I doubt that Sleepie your pretty awesome sorry it isn't working out there what about somewhere diffrent there are good ppl who will like you & respect you for being you

Sorry Sleepie x

sleepie

I just know I will not be working near or with any people anymore, not ever again. They are far, far too nuts. I know I will find something. Just no more people.

ScottFromWI

Every job involves people sleepie. Even people who work from home and do computer based work all day long still have to work with people. You are a "people" too remember, we all are.

If you isolate yourself from the rest of the world you are still left with yourself - and part ( a lot ) of the problem you are having seems to be that you don't like yourself. So at the end of the day, quitting your job solves nothing. Certainly you can find a different job, but you cannot run away from yourself. At some point you need to face that fact and seek help ( yes - from other people ) to help you learn to love and take care of yourself.

zjw

All true scott but sometimes you just need to find that proper balance. I've had jobs I loved with plenty of crappy things about them. But the good balanced out the bad etc..

I know for me its not so much I hate people and cant tolerate it its just trying to find that balance that works for me.

zjw

Its gotta be a relief and brighter days are ahead. I think your making a good choice towards feeling better.

ScottFromWI

I agree 100% and that's why I suggested doing so, rather than simply isolating.

sleepie

Maybe some of this can be put down to having an ld. Either way I tried my best to conform as much as I could for years, to the loss of my own self and hopes. No more.

I never really had a problem with myself actually, I have a huge problem with how others have treated me. Like I was telling someone elsewhere, I am just fine til someone rains on my parade.

I actually believe I am a good person. I think I am a friend who is loyal to a fault and also very dedicated, and not someone who just gives up. It took a looooong time and a lot of adversity to get here. I am someone who does not just settle for simple answers either and I also stand up for what I believe in. It's humanity and people who disappoint me, actually.

At the end of the day?

Still sober.

I know I did the right thing.

Now I am going to draw, something I haven't done in weeks.