happymama22

Hi all...

My husband is an alcoholic who is currently in the midst of another relapse. Last May he went to an inpatient treatment facility and was doing really well for a few months until he stopped working his program. Since that time he has been on and off the relapse roller coaster but has yet to return to meetings or make any real commitment to recovery.

For the past two weeks I have noticed things progressing (this week he was sober Monday and Tuesday and then he drank a 375 ml of vodka Wednesday night in about an hour and on his way home last night he chugged a 200 ml bottle of tequila that he tried to hide from me).

I know where this is heading, I just want to know how long it will take before he is back where he was before going to rehab.

For those who have relapsed or been around someone who relapsed, how long did it take to get back to where you were before you got sober?

Bunny211

It took me a week or so the second to last time I relapsed. The last time I relapsed (God willing the last time) I was back to the horrible pit of hopelessness and 24/7 drinking within 48 hours. It is very scary. Sorry that you are dealing with this.

BBQBOY

My experience is that each relapse gets worse quicker. This disease is a progressive disease. Alcoholism progresses even if the subject doesn't ingest alcohol for a while. I know I would need more alcohol to get the same effect that I got just a month ago. Also, each progressive withdrawal will get worse with each relapse...it is called "kindling"....my last withdrawal was the worst of my drinking career. I hope to never go back to that time. I would highly encourage him to start back in a recovery program. Best Wishes

OCDDan

I think if he's sober 2 days a week he really is trying to some extent, If he wasn't trying then he'd be drinking everyday. It's really too hard to know how long it would take to end up back at rehab, I drank for 45 years and I'm on my third treatment program, If I drank, I'd be right back where i was and worse within a week.

least

I relapsed over and over until I finally wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. I hope he gets to that point sooner rather than later.

advbike

Over 10 years, my relapses got further and further apart, until I stayed quit, but I wasn't drinking like that. Does he go to AA? It would seem that he needs face to face support. Why wait? Does he want to quit?

happymama22

He doesn't seem to have a desire to stop.

Notimetoloose

Every time I relapsed, I would get scared that I didn't have another quit in me...they got harder to pull out of.

Hawkeye13

For me, each relapse was faster and harder.
It doesn't improve, just gets worse.

Mama, sounds like you have some hard choices
if he has no desire to stop.
I'm sorry.

muzare

I don't think it's entirely fair to say he doesn't have a desire to stop. It may be that he wants to stop, but not enough to go to AA for the rest of his life and "work a program". If he went to rehab, there's a very, very good chance he was taught that lifetime AA was one option, and the other was to get drunk. "If you're not done, go get done- we'll be here" is a common message in AA.

All I can say is to have an open mind, and encourage him to seek out other resources if AA doesn't seem to be working for him (I respect that it does for people). After rehab I lived in a recovery bubble (sober living, AA, etc) for about a year, gave it everything I had, and when I first heard someone say "you don't have to do that", I felt an immense sense of relief.

For me, my relapses did not get worse. My worst relapse was five years ago, and I've never been that sick again. I did continue to relapse, but I spent time reading self help books/internet resources and marginally, gradually improved my habits and my outlook on life.

I hope I don't come off as a mindless AA basher- I know it's popular here, which is totally cool- I just want to offer my experience and some hope. Best of luck to you and your husband.

Jsbodhi

I also don't use AA, if its not working maybe take a look at some other options xoxo
Its not hopeless.

tomsteve

i was never serious about stopping before and every time i stopped the motives were wrong. the only real attempt i made about 30 days. then one friday i bought a 40 ouncer. in a week it was a six pack and a pint, which before then i didnt mix the 2.
since i got sober- truly sober with the right motive-the words of someone with 20+ years sober who drank again will stay with me:
"i didnt pick up where i left off. it was as if i never stopped."

Vandermast

for me relapses have gotten worse each time also

thank god the plug is in the jug, and there it stays just for today.....

and thus I have a chance to repeat again tomorrow.

van