Preparing for the worst, hoping for the best
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Fantail, above all, don't blame yourself. We all do things that put us at risk for disease. We're human. Be kind to yourself and I am sending hugs to you that you get good results from the medication and good news.
now's the time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Thanks everyone... 
I just slept another 16+ hours. Recently I've been tired all week but only sleeping that much once a week or so. Not sure if it's the medication cutting down on some of the stuff that makes it hard for me to sleep even when tired, or if it's just psychological from knowing that it's not in my head.
So many dreams about illness and death! My subconscious is really running with this one. My doctor said "try not to get scared" so I'm trying but it's definitely in there.
I just slept another 16+ hours. Recently I've been tired all week but only sleeping that much once a week or so. Not sure if it's the medication cutting down on some of the stuff that makes it hard for me to sleep even when tired, or if it's just psychological from knowing that it's not in my head.
So many dreams about illness and death! My subconscious is really running with this one. My doctor said "try not to get scared" so I'm trying but it's definitely in there.
now's the time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Chief Bromden, thank you... I've been reading up on some of the dietary stuff and trying to make some changes. It's hard when I'm freaking out and just want to eat pizza and ice cream! But I've got a big kale salad that i've been eating with every meal and also taking a multivitamin. I'll see what else is recommended.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
Hugs girl. Doctors are so matter of fact and won't give you anything to base false hope on. I think it's good she is telling you not to worry. Those diet changes sound like a good idea.
now's the time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
SR, you're right, it's true. But on the one hand there's try not to get scared... on the other hand I'm getting screened for lymphoma next week. I'm trying hard to live in the middle of those two facts. And realizing that it might be like this for a little while, no matter what the outcome of the test is.
I know that the outcome could be anything right now. It's just such a head trip to incorporate that kind of potential reality into my mind.
I just went to another really good meeting. So grateful for everyone on here and everyone in my local AA groups. It is so valuable to have a place to just say these things. And even more valuable to have people respond. I feel much calmer than I would just in my own head, alone.
I know that the outcome could be anything right now. It's just such a head trip to incorporate that kind of potential reality into my mind.
I just went to another really good meeting. So grateful for everyone on here and everyone in my local AA groups. It is so valuable to have a place to just say these things. And even more valuable to have people respond. I feel much calmer than I would just in my own head, alone.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Europe
Posts: 291
Originally Posted by fantail 
I'll see what else is recommended.
) - is the book "In Defense of Food" (on wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_Defense_of_Food ) by Michael Pollan. It will inform you on how to avoid fad diets, while still getting a good primer on what counts when it comes to healthy eating habits. He talks about nutritionism, and the fact that despite the constant barrage of "food science" the general population is eating much less healthy than it was a few decades ago. We now regularly see 6 year olds with enlarged livers without them ever touching a drop of alcohol (too much fructose will do that to you, and it should make us alcoholics pay attention).An easy rule of thumb: eat food that your grandparents (or great grandparents, depending on your age) would recognize as food. The book's motto: "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.".
And before you have to fork over money for this book, you can watch a PBS documentary with the same name (Watch Full Episodes Online of In Defense of Food on PBS | Full Episode) if you are in the US. I don't know how good the documentary is, as it's not available to me, but it probably should give you a fairly good idea on what the book is about, and if it would appeal to you or not.
Edit: parts are available on Youtube, and a lecture can be found here.
Mind you, I am not saying that food will cure all, your doc is your most important port of call. But I do believe that good food will help you get better sooner, and even have fun in the process, without having to fall for expensive and sometimes downright dangerous diets.
now's the time
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Thank you Dee. I feel less frightened today. Still very tired. But focusing more on the idea that this is good because now whatever it is can be fixed, rather than what the diagnosis will be. One of the women at the meeting has been living with cancer for four years, and she reminded me that even if it's something bad, freaking out just makes you sicker. So that's where I'm keeping my thoughts, on staying calm. And all the things that it could be that are not worst case scenarios.
Thanks Holly, I'd heard that about turmeric too but completely forgotten... worth giving a try! I'll do some reading and ask for my doctor's advice on it.
ChiefBromden, thank you. I'm a fan of Michael Pollan and his philosophy of food. Thank you for the link, I'll have to reacquaint myself... I haven't read anything from him in years and it would be a good reminder.
I feel less frightened today. Still very tired. But focusing more on the idea that this is good because now whatever it is can be fixed, rather than what the diagnosis will be. One of the women at the meeting has been living with cancer for four years, and she reminded me that even if it's something bad, freaking out just makes you sicker. So that's where I'm keeping my thoughts, on staying calm. And all the things that it could be that are not worst case scenarios.Thanks Holly, I'd heard that about turmeric too but completely forgotten... worth giving a try! I'll do some reading and ask for my doctor's advice on it.
ChiefBromden, thank you. I'm a fan of Michael Pollan and his philosophy of food. Thank you for the link, I'll have to reacquaint myself... I haven't read anything from him in years and it would be a good reminder.
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