Would this be considered dysfunctional?
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Would this be considered dysfunctional?
This is how I'm feeling. 
. Her ex-fiancé gets out of prison after a few years. He had been struggling with drug addiction that landed him there. Now he claims to be getting back on track working and being a productive member of society.
Right after being out of prison, he starts hanging around her family again, primarily her parents, and her sister's boyfriend. Him and my friend have no kids together so there's really no reason to be hanging around. He had burned bridges with people with his past drug use. When he and my friend were exclusive at one point, that was when his troubles started including screwing my friend over stealing lots of money.
Would any functional, normal family be friends with the ex of their child after the ex screwed their child over? My theory is they see him as a "drinking buddy". They are a family of functional alcoholics, including my friend. She told me it doesn't bother her that he's hanging around.
. Her ex-fiancé gets out of prison after a few years. He had been struggling with drug addiction that landed him there. Now he claims to be getting back on track working and being a productive member of society. Right after being out of prison, he starts hanging around her family again, primarily her parents, and her sister's boyfriend. Him and my friend have no kids together so there's really no reason to be hanging around. He had burned bridges with people with his past drug use. When he and my friend were exclusive at one point, that was when his troubles started including screwing my friend over stealing lots of money.
Would any functional, normal family be friends with the ex of their child after the ex screwed their child over? My theory is they see him as a "drinking buddy". They are a family of functional alcoholics, including my friend. She told me it doesn't bother her that he's hanging around.
Last edited by SarahBear; 02-24-2016 at 12:39 PM. Reason: change of title
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Originally Posted by Bunny211 
It certainly does not seem like "sober" behavior to me!
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Addiction makes people do a lot of things that don't make sense.
Unless your friend has asked you for help in the matter though I'm not sure that any of this would be of concern to you anyway? Even if it were there's really nothing you could do about it anyway, right?
Unless your friend has asked you for help in the matter though I'm not sure that any of this would be of concern to you anyway? Even if it were there's really nothing you could do about it anyway, right?
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Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Addiction makes people do a lot of things that don't make sense.
Unless your friend has asked you for help in the matter though I'm not sure that any of this would be of concern to you anyway? Even if it were there's really nothing you could do about it anyway, right?
Unless your friend has asked you for help in the matter though I'm not sure that any of this would be of concern to you anyway? Even if it were there's really nothing you could do about it anyway, right?
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
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Location: Syracuse, NY
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I think your best chance for keeping your sanity is to just keep reminding yourself that it's their problem and not yours. Just be glad that you don't have to be a part of it.
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Originally Posted by Dave42001
Addiction makes people do a lot of things that don't make sense
Well said, Scott!!
Well said, Scott!!
I certainly married the wrong woman when I was young and in the middle of my alcoholic trajectory.
And my ex-wife married the wrong man.
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True! Plus it does takes two participants to tango. I also agree about not minding other ppls business. My sponsor tells me your biz stops at the end of ur nose. If i begin to gossip or do whatever to change the situation I have stepped into Gods business. Let nature work itself out no matter if it takes years. Meanwhile I'm taught to just be responsible with my own life.
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Addiction makes people do a lot of things that don't make sense.
Unless your friend has asked you for help in the matter though I'm not sure that any of this would be of concern to you anyway? Even if it were there's really nothing you could do about it anyway, right?
Unless your friend has asked you for help in the matter though I'm not sure that any of this would be of concern to you anyway? Even if it were there's really nothing you could do about it anyway, right?
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Sounds to me like the only person stressing about this is you?
You can't do anything about it anyway, so it might not be a good idea to spend too much mental time and emotional energy even thinking about it.
You can't do anything about it anyway, so it might not be a good idea to spend too much mental time and emotional energy even thinking about it.
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