In recovery vs recovered?
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Based on the posts I see here on SR, those who accept they are alcoholics and can never drink again seem okay with the term "in recovery."
Those that can't and think they can drink again usually say they are "recovered."
Those that can't and think they can drink again usually say they are "recovered."
It's baffling how that alternative is discounted, because I see that to be the most liberating result for me. This is done, thank goodness.
I've never understood how an acceptance of one's own alcoholism stopped anyone from drinking. On the contrary, it seems to be the best justification for it. 'Of course I drink! I'm a bleeping alcoholic! What would you expect?'
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by freshstart57
'Of course I drink! I'm a bleeping alcoholic! What would you expect?'
He thought it to be very funny at the time.
Then within a few years he had no
wife, job or family.
MB
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
Originally Posted by fotographia
What are the differences between the terms in recovery vs recovered?
Or is it true that once someone's an addict to a drug, alcohol, or behaviour that they're always an addict and are always in recovery?
Or is it true that once someone's an addict to a drug, alcohol, or behaviour that they're always an addict and are always in recovery?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
The AA Big Book does mentioned that many "have recovered".
I've been using that term for a while now.
Which ever term that I use, it all really doesn't matter much as long as I don't drink today.
Because if I do, I will neither be in recovery or recovered.
It's all good food for sober thought and I think that to be a positive thing.
MB
I've been using that term for a while now.
Which ever term that I use, it all really doesn't matter much as long as I don't drink today.
Because if I do, I will neither be in recovery or recovered.
It's all good food for sober thought and I think that to be a positive thing.
MB
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by freshstart57
I see a false dilemma, Carl. Are these the only choices? I think the obvious choice you omit is the one that says, I am recovered, I am no longer an alcoholic, and I will never drink again.
It's baffling how that alternative is discounted, because I see that to be the most liberating result for me. This is done, thank goodness.
I've never understood how an acceptance of one's own alcoholism stopped anyone from drinking. On the contrary, it seems to be the best justification for it. 'Of course I drink! I'm a bleeping alcoholic! What would you expect?'
It's baffling how that alternative is discounted, because I see that to be the most liberating result for me. This is done, thank goodness.
I've never understood how an acceptance of one's own alcoholism stopped anyone from drinking. On the contrary, it seems to be the best justification for it. 'Of course I drink! I'm a bleeping alcoholic! What would you expect?'
The aspect of "I am no longer an alcoholic" is something I would never be able to put to the test because it doesn't occur to me to drink, and because I am repelled by even the idea of drinking.
And I agree about it being a most liberating result
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Maybe its cause I am a lawyer and love a healthy discussion, but I amanita seeing any bickering here, just interesting dialogue on a question that I think is important to many early on -- am I broken or can I be fixed.
I always look to smoking for my answer cause it is a less loaded topic.
I smoked for ten years and stopped smoking 35 years ago.
I never think about smoking and would never smoke again even if they decided it was good for me because it is a disgusting vile habit -- 100 percent sure.
But I know that if I do, I will be at it with the same vengeance as 35 years ago -- also 100 percent sure.
How do I know -- same way I know my name is Dropsie and I am short.
Am I recovered -- yes.
Am I addicted -- yes.
As long as I recall the latter, I am good.
Ditto re drinking for ME.
But because, like many of us, I have no physical addition to alcohol, it took me a while to realise that I was just as addicted and the result of one drink is the same as one cigarette.
Now that I know that, like I know my name and my height, the rest follows on.
Am I recovered in the sense I have no desire to drink -- yes.
Am I addicted -- yes.
Same as I am short.
Others might not even be addicted -- only you know that -- but we all know, admit less, but know more.
I know.
I always look to smoking for my answer cause it is a less loaded topic.
I smoked for ten years and stopped smoking 35 years ago.
I never think about smoking and would never smoke again even if they decided it was good for me because it is a disgusting vile habit -- 100 percent sure.
But I know that if I do, I will be at it with the same vengeance as 35 years ago -- also 100 percent sure.
How do I know -- same way I know my name is Dropsie and I am short.
Am I recovered -- yes.
Am I addicted -- yes.
As long as I recall the latter, I am good.
Ditto re drinking for ME.
But because, like many of us, I have no physical addition to alcohol, it took me a while to realise that I was just as addicted and the result of one drink is the same as one cigarette.
Now that I know that, like I know my name and my height, the rest follows on.
Am I recovered in the sense I have no desire to drink -- yes.
Am I addicted -- yes.
Same as I am short.
Others might not even be addicted -- only you know that -- but we all know, admit less, but know more.
I know.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Originally Posted by FormerBeerLover
I try not to get caught up with semantics. The important thing for me is to move forward in sobriety.
I personally believe everything from here on out is a process, thus I am "in recovery" and enjoying every minute of it. But others may think differently and that's okay by me.
If we grow wiser, continue to learn, and still allow ourselves to experience awe and amazement on this earth while SOBER, then it doesn't matter what you call it.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
I didn't drink for 30 years after first coming to AA at 21.
After 20 years, I took my sobriety for granted and didn't even pay attention to how I began sliding backwards. First I dropped off going to meetings until I wasn't going at all and then over the next 10 years began to drop my recovery tools along the way. I think that maybe if I hadn't taken it for granted and instead remained mindful about my sobriety, if I had continued to practice all I'd learned over the years, I might have stayed sober without the reinforcement of meetings.
But since I did none of that, my thinking ever so gradually reverted to it's old negativity, my bad attitude returned and life got crappy again. Drinking once more started to look like an attractive option and a solution to my problems. Once I started thinking that way, I still couldn't even make myself drink at first; that took a few more years of contemplating it before I could actually bring myself to do it.
So when I look back, I know I was sober and happy about it for a period of time while I was doing the things I needed to do to keep it that way. And when I stopped doing those things, the addiction was still there waiting for me.
I can only think of myself as recovering. I see my alcoholism as being there whether I'm drinking or not, so I'm never cured/recovered. For me, it's all a state of mental and spiritual condition. As long as I don't drink and maintain that spiritual and mental condition, it's in remission. And since those states are continually evolving I look on my recovery as an ongoing journey (recovering) rather than a final destination (recovered).
After 20 years, I took my sobriety for granted and didn't even pay attention to how I began sliding backwards. First I dropped off going to meetings until I wasn't going at all and then over the next 10 years began to drop my recovery tools along the way. I think that maybe if I hadn't taken it for granted and instead remained mindful about my sobriety, if I had continued to practice all I'd learned over the years, I might have stayed sober without the reinforcement of meetings.
But since I did none of that, my thinking ever so gradually reverted to it's old negativity, my bad attitude returned and life got crappy again. Drinking once more started to look like an attractive option and a solution to my problems. Once I started thinking that way, I still couldn't even make myself drink at first; that took a few more years of contemplating it before I could actually bring myself to do it.
So when I look back, I know I was sober and happy about it for a period of time while I was doing the things I needed to do to keep it that way. And when I stopped doing those things, the addiction was still there waiting for me.
I can only think of myself as recovering. I see my alcoholism as being there whether I'm drinking or not, so I'm never cured/recovered. For me, it's all a state of mental and spiritual condition. As long as I don't drink and maintain that spiritual and mental condition, it's in remission. And since those states are continually evolving I look on my recovery as an ongoing journey (recovering) rather than a final destination (recovered).
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
One way I see it (and I can see it multiple ways, btw) is like this: If I have euphoric recall when I think of drinking, I think that's a response of either an alcoholic or a former alcoholic. Normal drinkers don't crave drinking in the same way we do (as if our very survival depended on procuring the substance). Our brains have responded differently to alcohol.
Over time, my cravings have lessened. It's rare that I think about drinking. And when I do, I know I won't do it. It causes me very little distress or grief at this point in my life. But ... my knee-jerk reaction is on par with Pavlov's dog response; I salivate either literally or metaphorically when that craving or urge does crop up. It's not a normal desire to drink.
So, I'm not an active alcoholic. Am I an alcoholic? It's contextual, isn't it? I'm not drinking. I can't be an "alcoholic" in one sense. But areas of my brain and instincts aren't that of a normal drinker. So...
It's hard to say. I'm recovered and in recovery, maybe? I don't think the state of being is easily defined by picking a word.
Over time, my cravings have lessened. It's rare that I think about drinking. And when I do, I know I won't do it. It causes me very little distress or grief at this point in my life. But ... my knee-jerk reaction is on par with Pavlov's dog response; I salivate either literally or metaphorically when that craving or urge does crop up. It's not a normal desire to drink.
So, I'm not an active alcoholic. Am I an alcoholic? It's contextual, isn't it? I'm not drinking. I can't be an "alcoholic" in one sense. But areas of my brain and instincts aren't that of a normal drinker. So...
It's hard to say. I'm recovered and in recovery, maybe? I don't think the state of being is easily defined by picking a word.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
Just because I've recovered from my alcoholism, it doesn't mean I'm cured of alcoholism. As the used to say in my area I'm meetings, " while I'm in here, the whiskey bug is outside doing push ups." For me, The Twelve Steps are a constant work in progress.
The difference for me was when I stopped trying to get sober, and just started living sober.
The difference for me was when I stopped trying to get sober, and just started living sober.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
As opposed to some, I feel there is indeed a cure for alcoholism, at least there was a cure for mine. It is very simple. Stop drinking, and never drink again. Boom. That's it! You just can't forget the second part there, it's real important.
It may not be easy, but it doesn't get simpler than that.
If there are other things that need fixing, then by all means, go and work on them. They become much simpler to address once there is no more alcohol, ever, no matter what. Become spiritual, religious, mindful, athletic, healthy, all of the above. That's what normal people do to improve themselves after all.
It may not be easy, but it doesn't get simpler than that.
If there are other things that need fixing, then by all means, go and work on them. They become much simpler to address once there is no more alcohol, ever, no matter what. Become spiritual, religious, mindful, athletic, healthy, all of the above. That's what normal people do to improve themselves after all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
There's a lot of rat holes in recovery and this is one of them.
Keep it simple and don't pick up that first drink.. Focus on getting sober! Read some books on the subject, go to different recovery program meetings.. Good luck!!!
Keep it simple and don't pick up that first drink.. Focus on getting sober! Read some books on the subject, go to different recovery program meetings.. Good luck!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
My wife and I would really love to get a dog. However, I have an allergy to dogs/cats. At present my eyes don't itch and my nose isn't clogged and I have recovered from the symptoms associated with my allergies.
However, maybe ten years ago I was given a couch. A very nice couch to be sure but a couch in which a cat slept on for years. Maybe three days after I stared using this couch my allergies returned so I tossed it.
My point is (similar to my allergies) I will never be recovered from alcoholism. The best I can do is keep the symptoms (re: problems associated with abusive drinking) in remission.
However, maybe ten years ago I was given a couch. A very nice couch to be sure but a couch in which a cat slept on for years. Maybe three days after I stared using this couch my allergies returned so I tossed it.
My point is (similar to my allergies) I will never be recovered from alcoholism. The best I can do is keep the symptoms (re: problems associated with abusive drinking) in remission.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
there's a similar thread over in the 12-step-support room:
For a while, when I was young in the program, I used recoverING. It probably offended some but it was true. -ing was the best I could manage and I sure as hell wasn't recovered from much.
For the past several or more years I use RECOVERED for the same reason I used to use -ing........ because it's my truth. And I'm sure, it's offensive to some people.
There is a difference between the two: recovering and recovered. Be honest with yourself and others about yourself. Use the term that's appropriate to your recovery.
As Abraham Lincoln and later on Bill Wilson said, often the good is the enemy of the best. For my first couple years, recovering was great and it was enough but that didn't last. I needed and wanted more. Thankfully, it was available.
For a while, when I was young in the program, I used recoverING. It probably offended some but it was true. -ing was the best I could manage and I sure as hell wasn't recovered from much.
For the past several or more years I use RECOVERED for the same reason I used to use -ing........ because it's my truth. And I'm sure, it's offensive to some people.
There is a difference between the two: recovering and recovered. Be honest with yourself and others about yourself. Use the term that's appropriate to your recovery.
As Abraham Lincoln and later on Bill Wilson said, often the good is the enemy of the best. For my first couple years, recovering was great and it was enough but that didn't last. I needed and wanted more. Thankfully, it was available.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: glasgow scotland
Posts: 1,004
Lots of mis- conceptions regarding Alcoholics Anonymous , sure Big Book opens with that statement ''Men and Women who have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body '' does it say from alcohol ? no it does not .
12 Steps in AA ( Step 1 ) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol , and that our lives had become unmanageable .
Note half of Step( 1 ) mentions alcohol .
Step 12 carrying the message to other alcoholics .
Alcoholics Anonymous recovery program has ''nothing to do with alcohol '' alcoholism is a two fold disease affecting mind and body .
It also points out the Spiritual Malady , Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book . Physical Compulsion coupled with Mental Obsession .
Big Book points out once you have done certain steps '' the obsession has been removed '' means taken away , not ''disappeared '' and we have a daily reprieve dependent on remaining in a fit spiritual condition .
Recovered ''does not mean cured '' cant for the life of me understand why people don't realize that .
The other 11.5 Steps are the '' solution to the spiritual malady '' AA program has nothing to do with alcohol it is about ''living a new way of life it is about freedom from alcoholism alcohol is only ''a symptom'' of alcoholism.
Posted this before.
The Jug , take a jug and scraps of paper and write on each scrap , blackout, fears shakes , sweats , Dts , violence, prison , lies , infidelity , dishonesty , broken hearts n promises , lonliness , sleepless nights , seizures , broken homes , hopelessness , suicidal thoughts .
Place them all in the jug and add pint of alcohol , shake it vigorously and what you have is alcoholism /chronic alcoholism , empty out the alcohol . What remains in jug is '' Untreated Alcoholism '' the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step recovery program is the solution '
Recovered from a Physical Compulsion and Mental Obsession .
Simple ''mind and body'' . Chronic alcoholic recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body = that's me Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 and my choice is not to drink'' because I cant'' don't want or need to, no obsession , by not lifting the first drink I am arresting the illness'' not cured '' and if they brought out a cure ? who in their right mind would want to go back to that hellish way of life ?.
Regards Stevie .
12 Steps in AA ( Step 1 ) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol , and that our lives had become unmanageable .
Note half of Step( 1 ) mentions alcohol .
Step 12 carrying the message to other alcoholics .
Alcoholics Anonymous recovery program has ''nothing to do with alcohol '' alcoholism is a two fold disease affecting mind and body .
It also points out the Spiritual Malady , Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book . Physical Compulsion coupled with Mental Obsession .
Big Book points out once you have done certain steps '' the obsession has been removed '' means taken away , not ''disappeared '' and we have a daily reprieve dependent on remaining in a fit spiritual condition .
Recovered ''does not mean cured '' cant for the life of me understand why people don't realize that .
The other 11.5 Steps are the '' solution to the spiritual malady '' AA program has nothing to do with alcohol it is about ''living a new way of life it is about freedom from alcoholism alcohol is only ''a symptom'' of alcoholism.
Posted this before.
The Jug , take a jug and scraps of paper and write on each scrap , blackout, fears shakes , sweats , Dts , violence, prison , lies , infidelity , dishonesty , broken hearts n promises , lonliness , sleepless nights , seizures , broken homes , hopelessness , suicidal thoughts .
Place them all in the jug and add pint of alcohol , shake it vigorously and what you have is alcoholism /chronic alcoholism , empty out the alcohol . What remains in jug is '' Untreated Alcoholism '' the Alcoholics Anonymous 12 Step recovery program is the solution '
Recovered from a Physical Compulsion and Mental Obsession .
Simple ''mind and body'' . Chronic alcoholic recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body = that's me Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 and my choice is not to drink'' because I cant'' don't want or need to, no obsession , by not lifting the first drink I am arresting the illness'' not cured '' and if they brought out a cure ? who in their right mind would want to go back to that hellish way of life ?.
Regards Stevie .
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Folks:
I'll second Dee's reminder here - the original question is a valid discussion, but let's please not let it turn into an argument over specific recovery methods or attack other's points of view.
I'll second Dee's reminder here - the original question is a valid discussion, but let's please not let it turn into an argument over specific recovery methods or attack other's points of view.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
The Jug , take a jug and scraps of paper and write on each scrap , blackout, fears shakes , sweats , Dts , violence, prison , lies , infidelity , dishonesty , broken hearts n promises , lonliness , sleepless nights , seizures , broken homes , hopelessness , suicidal thoughts .
Place them all in the jug and add pint of alcohol , shake it vigorously and what you have is alcoholism /chronic alcoholism , empty out the alcohol . What remains in jug is '' Untreated Alcoholism '
Place them all in the jug and add pint of alcohol , shake it vigorously and what you have is alcoholism /chronic alcoholism , empty out the alcohol . What remains in jug is '' Untreated Alcoholism '
Then, take all those scraps of paper, the ones with all the misery and grief that comes with alcohol addiction, and dump em down the toilet. Say goodbye to them forever. Then, start with some brand new scraps of paper. Write on them how you would like your life to be. Play an instrument. Good cook. Useful and valued member of the community. Loving parent or spouse. Good swimmer. Nice garden. Volunteer.
There is a good life for me now that I am no longer an alcoholic. I understand that others view this differently, but this is what has worked for me.
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