GravyTrain

Hi all.
Haven't been on for a while. Still sober, about 5 months now. Feeling physically fitter than I have done in 20 years.👍
However, more and more I'm having anger issues.
Im wondering whether this is a common thing in recovery?
Can't seem to control it.
I'm generally less patient than I was, and I think that's not necessarily a bad thing, as part of my patience when drinking was manipulation in order to carry on boozing....
But recently I just get so angry with everything. From the biggest issues, i.e Trump?!? Wtf!!!, to the smallest insignificant inconveniences like the wireless printer can't be found...
And I don't just mean a 2 second outburst. It's a constant feeling, as if I'm just wound up ready to explode at anything.
Does anyone have similar issues? Should I just see a counsellor?
At least I'm not drinking. 😃

Soberpotamus

I had anger issues too. They worked themselves out the first year, thankfully. I'm not sure if it was PAWS or just a general sort of shock that my coping mechanism had been taken away. Eventually, the brain sort of clears out the cobwebs and we begin to learn how to cope again.

I did see a therapist for that first year. And I'm sorry to say, but I'm not sure how much she helped me,though I wouldn't tell anyone not to go. Therapy helps many work through the hard stuff.

I can tell you that I am tons better now and about to celebrate three years.

And Trump is unconscionably ridiculous, right?

Gottalife

In AA speak, it is a common symptom of untreated alcoholism. Resentment is regarded as extremely dangerous, even fatal, to alcoholics. In essence it gets more an more uncomfortable until the pain of not drinking exceeds the pain of drinking, the obsession returns and we pick up.

I found that just not drinking never brought a satisfactory result. Sobriety was always a miserable affair, which is why I always went back. I had to find a better way to live, and a way to deal with my screwed up reactions to life.

You have managed 5 months on your own power, which is slightly better than I ever could manage. Well done. I hope you can find a way to make your future sober time more worthwhile and enjoyable.

Soberwolf

When I was in early sobriety I had to learn to change my thinking I done group therapy & then recently CBT to help with this is that an option for you

Dee74

Hi GT

just wondering what else you've done besides just not drinking?

whiteout booze I was very angry. I had to work on some of those underlying reasons I started drinking over all those years ago?

D

Ariesagain

I've come to believe that giving up drinking involves a grieving process, with many of the same phases...denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance...and what makes it tougher is that most of us have dealt with those emotions in the past by drinking them to death...or at least until we can ignore them.

You may be sort of stuck in anger mode right now? Also, for some people, anger is how we hide being depressed.

Maybe a therapist can help give you a safe place to express these emotions?

JeffreyAK

Exactly, it is a grieving process, and anger is a part of that for many people. And for some of us, we never really learned healthy ways of coping with life stress, we let it build up and then temporarily ran from it by drinking, which of course just adds the stress back later with interest but feels like relief.

5 months is fantastic, but still quite early. Give it time, and find and create new ways to relieve stress. The serenity prayer has a lot of wisdom in it, and that wisdom is ancient and long predates it's use in addiction recovery circles.

youbetcha

I had alot of anger in early sobriety as well. I was so used to numbing my emotions , it eventually made sense why so much anger and grief came up when I stopped drinking and using. It's a part of the process I think, but we all have different things to work thru. I will say I owed as many amends to people for my behavior, anger etc. after I got sober as I did for my drinking career, we're still accountable for our actions. Alot of that stuff has waned over time (25 years in July God willing) but I can still be fierce if I need to be, just in a more civil way nowadays. "The only way out is through" I've heard said.

awuh1

I agree with whoever said it could be a symptom of depression. I had perpetual anger for long periods of time in early sobriety. Anger in search of a target. I'm convinced much of it was biological and not necessarily due to PAWS. I suggest exercise. At least 20 mins. three times per week where you keep your heart rate at or above what you would have with a very fast walk.

If the anger remains a problem I suggest seeing a mental health professional.

SoberCAH

Dee -

What is the rule about bringing up politics on these forums?

It makes me not want to participate.

I have to confess that I, like most folks, I suspect, feel rather viscerally about politics.

But I don't bring it up on these forums.

Maybe I'm in the wrong place.

fini

GravyTrain,
yeah, i had that emergence of anger. out-of-proportion reactions that stayed with me. gritted teeth.
just took longer than yours to come out, a few years fort me to really SEE.

not drinking turned out to be the easy part, but how to live in sobriety long-term and be content or better?

i finally realized that drinking hadn't been my problem but in fact had been my solution.
i know that's a cliche, but just happens to be true for me.

starting with a counselor might help. checking out AA's solution might help. doing CBT might help.

all kinds of stuff. important thing is, i found, to not stop looking and wanting better. knowing that there IS better.

SportsFan15

GT, I totally relate!

From small things to big things I'll have a couple days in a row where I'm wound so tight.

I've heard exercise helps but haven't gotten into a steady habit.

Thanks for posting....I feel your pain!

hellrzr

All of this is right on! You hear it everyday in meetings. Drinking is our solution, not our problem. Simply not drinking is not enough. You need to take other actions or you'll continue to be irritable, restless, and discontent. It drove me crazy until I learned what was going on and what I needed to do to feel better.

leviathan

Gravy,
Man, can I relate. Rage storms frightened me at 5 months dry. One thing I had going for me at that time was a massive home and landscape renovation that provided some physical outlet... I think the anger is just part of the deal for many of us. I think it's ok, as long as you don't abuse those around you or break your hand (didn't, but coulda).
After about 7 months I went into a more chill state.

My advice: take time-outs and have a quite place to take them.
-cut back (I didnt say quit, LOL) on the caffeine.
-same with sugar. -I know this sounds ridiculous, especially when you recently gave up booze, but it's a BIG factor for many of us. Up, Down, Up, Down, etc...
-find an exercise routine that allows you to just "kill yourself" when you feel bottled up, if you are physically able.