Fervor

I posted many pieces of my plan on my ‘Newbie here’ thread in New to Recovery. See if any of them are useful for you. I'm home all day, largely alone, so there are a lot of them.

I got through my eleven a.m. stress point ok, then I hit my midday one, so I poured myself a peach tea on ice instead of running out for some beer and sat down to the laptop before tackling some chores. Substitution and chatting. Good plan.

No real issues yet but hey it’s early and there is always the unexpected stressor like one I got this morning, Ew!, as well as,
Ugh! …taxes.

We'll see what happens.

Ferv
Formerly known as Xcess

least

Make this your last day one.

Obladi

No matter what happens, if you are committed to having no drink in hand, you'll be fine.

Happy Day 1, Finally to you!

HighDraw18

Nice work on Day 1! Keep it going.

Fervor

That's the plan!

Fervor

Today seemed too simple. I don't want to spook myself, but it makes me a bit uneasy about what's lurking out there.

JK130

It is simple. Don't drink alcohol. It is not, however, easy.

The beginning is hard. You can do it! Think of the rewards of living sober to help you get through feeling yucky or craving. It is so worth the effort!

Glad that you are posting

Dee74

Don't wish hardship on yourself

You had a good day one - that's great - there'll be other days that will probably test you a little more...but today you've aced it

well done

D

Obladi

For me, stopping has always been easy.
It's staying stopped that's the trick.

Don't second-guess yourself or look that gift horse in the mouth, neither.
Which is redundant, but anyhow. You get the gist.

ScottFromWI

Nothing to be scared of as long as you are prepared...congrats on day 1 by the way!

Cravings, temptation, etc will eventually come around - it's just the nature of addiction. But having a plan in place to deal with them helps tremendously. Logging on here on SR is a perfect place to seek help in the moment if you need it. Meetings, therapy, self help are others. What's most important to remember though is that actually quitting drinking is merely the beginning of the journey.

Fervor

Thanks everyone.

Haha. Shame on me, I scared myself.

The anxiety is inching in a little bit today and old thoughts are knocking on my brain but I’m not letting them come in and sit. I shut the door on scared as well.

I got to skate a bit yesterday, but my resolve is still great. I’d like to get practice in on my No’s and Huh uh’s on anticipated difficult times before I have to deal with unexpected ones, but either way I’m ready.

Obladi

Noticing a thought and recognizing that it's just a thought has been very helpful to me. I used to argue with the addiction/compulsion/urge and that didn't ever end up well. It was like fighting with my older brother - he knew as soon as he got me punching the game was on and he was gonna win.

Let the anxieties in the door and they'll float through the window in a surprisingly short time if you let them be.

Fervor

I'll think about that, Obladi. Makes sense. Maybe negative thoughts sense fear, like animals, and if I show them I'm not afraid of them they will lose interest.

I'm chuckling to myself on that one. My brain has a door and window? No wonder I'm a little scatterbrained.

Keepnitreal

Congrats on day 1. There will be hard days and easy days. Sometimes you think this whole sobriety thing is a piece of cake and then you get kicked on your bum.
Today is day 101 and I had some out if the blue SERIOUS cravings. I almost walked into the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine. Stupid idea.
Now it's bedtime and tomorrow will be 102 and you'll be there before you know it!

Fervor

I'm still fairly collected. I expected anxiety by now, as that was my experience previously. I’d like to think that it's because I prepared well, physically and mentally. That has probably helped, but I haven't used many of the things on my list yet. Having easy food, some appealing drinks and the truly wonderful blessing of someone to help in the house are the best so far. But no, there's the forum. Having my day one buddy to talk to plus all of the nice people here to interact with probably beats those. So the plan is coming in handy and it’s early yet. I may need them at some point, so it's nice to have them there for me.

I got a little frizzy this evening, though. I had to fix a dessert and go out with hubby and I didn't want to. The kitchen was a mess and my hair was dirty and I wasn't in the mood to sit in a folding chair and be nice. Previously, I might have thrown a hissy fit, said I wasn't going and gone out for beer before he left (we just have the one car). "Don't you know I'm doing something awesome here? And it's hard (begin whiny voice and amp it up), and you want me to stop but all you think about is yourself and being at Bible study, …every …single …meeting, without fail. You guys are like robots! (Yup. I’d spread the joy around to them all.) " Having too much to do and nowhere near enough time to do it freaks me out, as you are now learning, and I can be a pretty big jerk about it.

... Anyway, I'd send him off alone, which isn't a good idea because of his driving. Once he was gone I'd get a beer open and tackle the jobs that I had been frustrated by so I could flake more comfortably with TV, and my beer, until he got back. I'd ask him how it went nicely but inside I'd feel lousy. I had over extended myself and gotten myself all upset and I would have taken the heat off of my own guilt by dumping it on all him and if I were honest it would mostly have been about the beer. I need it. I want it. Bottom line. Can you believe he's stayed married to me for over 40 years? I wasn’t a drinker most of that time, but you should still be feeling kind of sorry for him by now.

The good news is I didn't do any of that. I put my hair in a ponytail, grabbed the goodies and my Bible and we took off. I sat in the chair, made a comment or two, sipped some tea and we came home. It was surreal.

On to day four!

Berrybean

Well done on day 1.

Is there any reason for you staying in the house all day (working from home or something)? If not, it's probably worth considering adding things into your day so you're not alone. Maybe AA (or similar) meetings, or volunteering somewhere. I'd suggest that even if at the moment you don't think you need it, just research what is available in your area (including driving by the places so you know exactly where and when they are happening) so if you do get to a stage where you need it, you already have the information and can just get there quick-smart,

Hope day 2 goes well.

Soberwolf

Congrats on day 4

Fervor

“Is there any reason for you staying in the house all day …?”

Good question. My day one buddy, Bunting, asked me that also.
Yes. There is a reason, but it’s not pertinent so I’m leaving it out of the equation. It isn’t really an issue for me, for the most part, anyway. I’m not a social butterfly and it’s not a hardship for me. I’ve always been a loner/hermit type. Being the only girl, I learned early how to entertain myself and I can do it very happily.

I have lots of interests. I get out to a few social things with hubby and have a couple of friends locally who come by occasionally, and if I really felt I needed it, I could get out for lunch or a quick outing. I don’t get out for lengthy things like recovery meetings or extended visits, but I don’t really want or need to. I think the idea of having it as an option in the future is a valid one and I will think of a few things I could do if I ever feel trapped.

Thanks for the input, ladies.

Soberwolf

I'm a bit like that Fervor everybody is diffrent the main thing is your doing really well

Obladi

Happy Day 4, Fervor.
I like it that you have a sense of humor.
That's a very helpful trait.