Straightup

I didn't realize I was coming off as an angry a-hole. I was just trying to start up a discussion on apparently a topic that has been beaten to death already. I'm hoping sobriety lasts for me but the problem I have is that not many people know that I have a problem. However, I haven't had a very hard time saying no and have been to many dinner, lunch, special occasions where many are drinking and it hasn't bothered me nor has anyone pressured me. Hope all is well with everyone else.

fini

just to put your mind at rest about the angry a-hole bit, Straightup:
i didn't see you that way at all.
what i saw was a guy with definite opinion and shutting out, pre-emptively, the opinions or experience of those he designated as "old farts".
as an older person, i find that offensive, but i wasn't personally offended.
i just put it down to a closed-minded young know-it-all who had no room for other opinions or curiosity about other views and experiences.

okay, Straightup, you don't know me, so you can't tell i'm being tongue-in-cheek here, and that's why i'm spelling it out.

you don't have to hope sobriety lasts for you.
it doesn't rest on hope.
it rests on work. which can take many different forms.

but that's just my old-fart experience

Soberwolf

As long you know that's all that counts have a nice day Straightup

Obladi

Straightup,

I perceived it as you doing a dance in the endzone.

I totally get why there are penalties for that, but couldn't help but be happy for you even if I was rooting for the other team.

Seeing as we're all on the same team, really, it doesn't matter. We can laugh about your arrogance over coffee.

brynn

((Straightup))

Well said fini! Especially the part about hope having nothing to do with it! Nailed it!

YogaAbba

I think there is tremendous wisdom in AA's 3rd tradition, which is that the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. I also have a problem with calling myself an "alcoholic" (and I happen to be certain I was born with the alcohol addiction genes that my drinking activated). I am not sure exactly why I dislike the identity. But I sure do want to stop drinking. And, at least for now, this is how I identify myself when I speak up at a meeting: "I am . . . and I have a desire to stop drinking."

Best of luck.
--YA

tomsteve

ive called myself a helluva lot worse than an alcoholic.
im an alcoholic. i dont drink because im in recovery.

dox

Me too.
I could be a lot worse than an alcoholic.
Often I was,
Sometimes I still am.
That's progress for you.

That third tradition is so welcoming and inclusive.
Accepting.
There were times when tradition three was the only thing that allowed me to keep coming back.
I knew what I was.
That was obvious.
I just had trouble saying it.
Took a while to get honest.

These days it's a natural part of sharing in a meeting.
Keeps me honest.
For I am an alcoholic.
All the better for not drinking.

fini

thanks, brynn.
hate to contradict you here, but:

hope....i often gave up hope that i could do this.

and then hope crept back in.

hope that it was doable. i saw others had done it. were doing it. so, therefore, it was doable.

so yeah, hope has something to do with it. without hope, i wouldn't have taken a step towards it, over and over.

hope came before all the work

brynn

Right you are, fini! I was strictly talking about the fact that hope doesn't keep us sober. I was referring to your quote:
"you don't have to hope sobriety lasts for you.
it doesn't rest on hope.
it rests on work. which can take many different forms."

I don't wake up and hope I'll be sober today. It's an act of the will. It's a choice. In the beginning hope is what propelled us. Like you said...I saw people here that were sober and happy and confident that sobriety was their new norm. Now that I'm sober I know what it takes to stay this way and I no longer have to just hope. That hope has been fulfilled. I'm the mistress of my own destiny!
Xoxo