ive fallen and cant get up
katlousam
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: orlando florida
Posts: 1
ive fallen and cant get up
Hello.
I don't even know where to start. I have been with my alcoholic husband for almost 4 years now. We have a 2 yr old son, and I feel like I am going nuts. I am a stay at home mom, and have no employment due to the fact that my son is disabled and needs me to care for him at home. I feel like I am trapped. My husband finally got arrested for a dui last november. He is attending a mandatory group meeting once a week for his alcoholism, but obviously, it is not helping him. He drinks soooooo much!!!! He comes home from work and brings a sixpack home . After he finishes that, he decides to walk down to the convenience store around the block from our apartment and pick up a quart or two. He then comes upstairs, drinks them, and falls asleep on the couch. He wakes up to urinate, and ends up not knowing where the heck he is, and ends up peeing in our oven, or our son's room, or my dishwasher. I am so disgusted by it, and he doesnt seem to think it is a big deal. I would leave if I had any type of income, but I dont. I cannot work , due to caring for my son, and I cannot get a job overnite, because I cannot trust my husband to watch him without drinking.( I cant stick my son in daycare either, because he has something called an IGA deficiency and gets sick from the slightest germs. Ive tried that already, too) I tried working part time after my son was born for a little while, but i would come home form work and find my son screaming in his crib , and my husband passed out on the couch from drinking. I have so much guilt for leaving my son with him. I love my husband but I dont know how to deal with him. I dont know if I would just be better off leaving . Ive tried "punishing" him by taking all the cash out of his wallet when he passes out, but all he does is get mad at me in the am, and come home doing the same routine. I know it's childish, but I have so much anger at him for making us go through this.
If anyone has some advise, I would appreciate it. I dont know if anyone else has gone through this, but if you have, help!!!!! ---Something that I forgot to mention is that everytime we argue about his drinking, he turns it around and makes it out to not be a big deal. H e makes me question whether or not I am the one in the wrong. I know I am right, but I hate him for making me question myself!! I am the one that ends up stepping in puddles of pee and having to deal with all that. I am just at the end of my rope and I need some help. It would be nice to know if there are any other people out there in my situation. Thanks for taking the time to read my story ( obviously there is more, but I cant fit it all into this post.)Any advise will help!!
katlousam
I don't even know where to start. I have been with my alcoholic husband for almost 4 years now. We have a 2 yr old son, and I feel like I am going nuts. I am a stay at home mom, and have no employment due to the fact that my son is disabled and needs me to care for him at home. I feel like I am trapped. My husband finally got arrested for a dui last november. He is attending a mandatory group meeting once a week for his alcoholism, but obviously, it is not helping him. He drinks soooooo much!!!! He comes home from work and brings a sixpack home . After he finishes that, he decides to walk down to the convenience store around the block from our apartment and pick up a quart or two. He then comes upstairs, drinks them, and falls asleep on the couch. He wakes up to urinate, and ends up not knowing where the heck he is, and ends up peeing in our oven, or our son's room, or my dishwasher. I am so disgusted by it, and he doesnt seem to think it is a big deal. I would leave if I had any type of income, but I dont. I cannot work , due to caring for my son, and I cannot get a job overnite, because I cannot trust my husband to watch him without drinking.( I cant stick my son in daycare either, because he has something called an IGA deficiency and gets sick from the slightest germs. Ive tried that already, too) I tried working part time after my son was born for a little while, but i would come home form work and find my son screaming in his crib , and my husband passed out on the couch from drinking. I have so much guilt for leaving my son with him. I love my husband but I dont know how to deal with him. I dont know if I would just be better off leaving . Ive tried "punishing" him by taking all the cash out of his wallet when he passes out, but all he does is get mad at me in the am, and come home doing the same routine. I know it's childish, but I have so much anger at him for making us go through this.
If anyone has some advise, I would appreciate it. I dont know if anyone else has gone through this, but if you have, help!!!!! ---Something that I forgot to mention is that everytime we argue about his drinking, he turns it around and makes it out to not be a big deal. H e makes me question whether or not I am the one in the wrong. I know I am right, but I hate him for making me question myself!! I am the one that ends up stepping in puddles of pee and having to deal with all that. I am just at the end of my rope and I need some help. It would be nice to know if there are any other people out there in my situation. Thanks for taking the time to read my story ( obviously there is more, but I cant fit it all into this post.)Any advise will help!!
katlousam
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((kat))))
Welcome to Sober Recovery. We all help eachother here.
The only thing that you can do that will help is focus on your own recovery. You might think that he is the one who needs recovery but the thing is we get crazy trying to control an uncontrolable situation. We reecover by putting the focus on ourselves rather than the alcoholic in our lives. We learn how to change our own behaviors and that makes our lives more sane reguardless of what the alcoholic does. Look up Alanon in the white business pages of your local phonebook and give them a call. Keep coming here and posting and reading the "power post" at the top of the "family and friends of alcoholics" forum on this site. Learn to take care of you and your life will get better.....((((((BIG HUG))))))) to you
Welcome to Sober Recovery. We all help eachother here.
The only thing that you can do that will help is focus on your own recovery. You might think that he is the one who needs recovery but the thing is we get crazy trying to control an uncontrolable situation. We reecover by putting the focus on ourselves rather than the alcoholic in our lives. We learn how to change our own behaviors and that makes our lives more sane reguardless of what the alcoholic does. Look up Alanon in the white business pages of your local phonebook and give them a call. Keep coming here and posting and reading the "power post" at the top of the "family and friends of alcoholics" forum on this site. Learn to take care of you and your life will get better.....((((((BIG HUG))))))) to you
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Huge hugs and welcome!
Your right you shouldn't have to endure that behavior, so make a plan. Decide what you want to do and work towards it, granted given your son's health it will make it a little difficult. Have you looked online for job possibilities? There are many options for online jobs that you can do from your own home. In the meantime as mentioned, Alanon would be a great place for you to start in finding support and understanding.
sidenote: I sure hope your not cleaning up his puddles!
Your right you shouldn't have to endure that behavior, so make a plan. Decide what you want to do and work towards it, granted given your son's health it will make it a little difficult. Have you looked online for job possibilities? There are many options for online jobs that you can do from your own home. In the meantime as mentioned, Alanon would be a great place for you to start in finding support and understanding.
sidenote: I sure hope your not cleaning up his puddles!
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