Powerless
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
If you feel bad now, imagine how you might feel if you kill someone while driving drunk. Please take responsibility for your actions, go to an AA meeting, and tell them what's going on. It's really simple. They will help you. The program works. Nothing beats face to face support.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Originally Posted by njdellis 
Hey everyone, I've not posted on here since 2014. I've struggled with alcohol for years. I'm on the verge of losing everything & everyone I love. It's happening more & more lately. I keep taking it a little farther each time. For the 1st time ever I woke up to blue lights surrounding my truck. (And I have never been in trouble with the law before)Evidently I had pulled over on the side of the road & passed out. I didn't have a clue & I still don't remember a whole lot. Luckily I knew the cop & the firefighter drove me home. I can't believe that I'm doing all of the things I said I'd never do & I always say I'm not like those drunks.... But its exactly what I'm turning into. I hate this road I'm on!! I'm currently seeing a counselor every 2 weeks & I started some depression meds. But even after everything I pick up the drink. I have a 15 year old boy & a fiancé that have always stood by me & are waiting for me to finally give it up. I hate the control that this has over me. I feel like I've always been a strong woman but this is beating me up & I feel powerless.... And yes I know that is step 1 but I can't seem to get past that. Any tips would be appreciated.
But start with simply not drinking. Under the influence, all decisions are suspect. Give yourself a few days' clarity.
You've already spotted the problem. You already know it's big. Don't try to eat the watermelon in one bite. Give yourself a few sober days, and use that time wisely.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
I will tell you a secret -- we are all powerless to stop drinking, WHEN we are drinking.
But we are not, and you are not, powerless to stop and stay stopped.
Its not easy, but once you are through it it becomes possible, even normal, not to drink.
But if we start again, any of us, we all quickly find ourselves back where you are.
We are all the same, and feel your pain.
But you can do this, we know. You have to believe.
But we are not, and you are not, powerless to stop and stay stopped.
Its not easy, but once you are through it it becomes possible, even normal, not to drink.
But if we start again, any of us, we all quickly find ourselves back where you are.
We are all the same, and feel your pain.
But you can do this, we know. You have to believe.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
There are two streams of advice and experience here.
If you are powerless, then the trick is to find some power. The AA program is about the only one I know that aims to connect you with a power greater than your self which will solve all your problems. It is quick, effective and permanet if we do the work, and continue to follow a few simple rules. Powerless for alcoholics of my type applies after the first drink, and also to our total inability to avoid the first drink.
If you are not powerless, then you can follow the advice to simply stop drinking. You won't need AA. You will get by on your own power. It's more than I could do, but it is possible for others it seems.
If you are powerless, then the trick is to find some power. The AA program is about the only one I know that aims to connect you with a power greater than your self which will solve all your problems. It is quick, effective and permanet if we do the work, and continue to follow a few simple rules. Powerless for alcoholics of my type applies after the first drink, and also to our total inability to avoid the first drink.
If you are not powerless, then you can follow the advice to simply stop drinking. You won't need AA. You will get by on your own power. It's more than I could do, but it is possible for others it seems.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by njdellis
I would never forgive myself if I killed someone because I was drinking & driving. I do feel like all this happened to open my eyes. I was extremely lucky that night & God had to be watching over me...
We can make that decision and take the action to never be in that position again.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Two families were destroyed forever when Marco Muzzo made the decision to drive a car. Three siblings and their grandfather died.Marco Muzzo out on $1M bail after guilty plea in crash that killed 3 kids, grandfather | Globalnews.ca
Is he a monster? Any more than I was when I drank and drove? I quit drinking after learning of an SR member whose infant child and husband were killed in a similar way. Such unimagineable horror that is relived every time a news report carries something like this.
I dunno. I am done drinking. That's all.
Is he a monster? Any more than I was when I drank and drove? I quit drinking after learning of an SR member whose infant child and husband were killed in a similar way. Such unimagineable horror that is relived every time a news report carries something like this.
I dunno. I am done drinking. That's all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Thank you everyone for responding! I can't keep telling myself go ahead & drink just one last time, I will get sober tomorrow. It never happens, I just say it over & over. So now I'm gonna tell myself that yesterday was my last time!! Today is a new day, So its Day 1 in my sobriety. I'm gonna take it minute by minute...
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Awesome, NJD. Truly wonderful.
You got this right, saying the next drink is the last one is nothing more than a decision to keep on drinking. The only way this is gonna drive change is to look at this as you have just done. It is yesterday's drink that was the last one.
The very last one. For ever, and for good.
You can do this by deciding that life, and every aspect of life, is better without the booze. You lose absolutely nothing. Any way you choose to measure it, you are now better off than yesterday, and the benefits will continue to accrue. Make no mistake, this is a new way of life that you need to create. You need a vision of what your life will be.
You are free to achieve, to hope, to plan, to live. Onward!
You got this right, saying the next drink is the last one is nothing more than a decision to keep on drinking. The only way this is gonna drive change is to look at this as you have just done. It is yesterday's drink that was the last one.
The very last one. For ever, and for good.
You can do this by deciding that life, and every aspect of life, is better without the booze. You lose absolutely nothing. Any way you choose to measure it, you are now better off than yesterday, and the benefits will continue to accrue. Make no mistake, this is a new way of life that you need to create. You need a vision of what your life will be.
You are free to achieve, to hope, to plan, to live. Onward!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by njdellis
Thank you everyone for responding! I can't keep telling myself go ahead & drink just one last time, I will get sober tomorrow. It never happens, I just say it over & over. So now I'm gonna tell myself that yesterday was my last time!! Today is a new day, So its Day 1 in my sobriety. I'm gonna take it minute by minute...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
I had to do the same...tomorrow never came for me. Have you considered seeking some local support today like meetings or couseling to help you out early on?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
njdellis, i had quite a a few times i was down to one minute at a time.
even one second at a time.
buti had something going for me:
faith in the people in aa and in what the big book said IF i did what it said. and these promises came true eventually:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. Wereact sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
even one second at a time.
buti had something going for me:
faith in the people in aa and in what the big book said IF i did what it said. and these promises came true eventually:
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone - even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. Wereact sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality - safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.
Alive in the Superunknown
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: 30.47ºN, 98.15ºW
Posts: 1,460
Originally Posted by njdellis
Thank you everyone for responding! I can't keep telling myself go ahead & drink just one last time, I will get sober tomorrow. It never happens, I just say it over & over. So now I'm gonna tell myself that yesterday was my last time!! Today is a new day, So its Day 1 in my sobriety. I'm gonna take it minute by minute...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 53
NJ;
I felt like you 34 days ago. I have drank most of my life (am 57 now) but the last two years I was getting out of control. I was drinking to black outs every night and on weekends, drinking earlier and earlier.
I tried to change / modify / stop many times in these 2 years but could not. I finally believed i could not. I told my primary care RX that I could not.
So I finally went to a social worker and told her I could not change. She looked me directly in the eye and said "YES YOU CAN" and we are going to change the default to "YES YOU CAN".
None of the heartache I was causing, none of the physical symptoms or dangers I was placing myself into or none of what my primary doc told me made me want to or believe I could.
Forget all the negative things happening to you because of your drinking. Thinking of them will not make you want to stop, they will just make you want to drink.
Think one thing, "YES I CAN" I believed it and I have stopped for 34 days.
From a distance I am saying to YOU, "YES YOU CAN". Listen to those words and believe them, because they ARE TRUE.
When you think of stopping, think "YES I CAN"!
I KNOW YOU CAN"
I felt like you 34 days ago. I have drank most of my life (am 57 now) but the last two years I was getting out of control. I was drinking to black outs every night and on weekends, drinking earlier and earlier.
I tried to change / modify / stop many times in these 2 years but could not. I finally believed i could not. I told my primary care RX that I could not.
So I finally went to a social worker and told her I could not change. She looked me directly in the eye and said "YES YOU CAN" and we are going to change the default to "YES YOU CAN".
None of the heartache I was causing, none of the physical symptoms or dangers I was placing myself into or none of what my primary doc told me made me want to or believe I could.
Forget all the negative things happening to you because of your drinking. Thinking of them will not make you want to stop, they will just make you want to drink.
Think one thing, "YES I CAN" I believed it and I have stopped for 34 days.
From a distance I am saying to YOU, "YES YOU CAN". Listen to those words and believe them, because they ARE TRUE.
When you think of stopping, think "YES I CAN"!
I KNOW YOU CAN"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Originally Posted by Therpy
NJ;
I felt like you 34 days ago. I have drank most of my life (am 57 now) but the last two years I was getting out of control. I was drinking to black outs every night and on weekends, drinking earlier and earlier.
I tried to change / modify / stop many times in these 2 years but could not. I finally believed i could not. I told my primary care RX that I could not.
So I finally went to a social worker and told her I could not change. She looked me directly in the eye and said "YES YOU CAN" and we are going to change the default to "YES YOU CAN".
None of the heartache I was causing, none of the physical symptoms or dangers I was placing myself into or none of what my primary doc told me made me want to or believe I could.
Forget all the negative things happening to you because of your drinking. Thinking of them will not make you want to stop, they will just make you want to drink.
Think one thing, "YES I CAN" I believed it and I have stopped for 34 days.
From a distance I am saying to YOU, "YES YOU CAN". Listen to those words and believe them, because they ARE TRUE.
When you think of stopping, think "YES I CAN"!
I KNOW YOU CAN"
I felt like you 34 days ago. I have drank most of my life (am 57 now) but the last two years I was getting out of control. I was drinking to black outs every night and on weekends, drinking earlier and earlier.
I tried to change / modify / stop many times in these 2 years but could not. I finally believed i could not. I told my primary care RX that I could not.
So I finally went to a social worker and told her I could not change. She looked me directly in the eye and said "YES YOU CAN" and we are going to change the default to "YES YOU CAN".
None of the heartache I was causing, none of the physical symptoms or dangers I was placing myself into or none of what my primary doc told me made me want to or believe I could.
Forget all the negative things happening to you because of your drinking. Thinking of them will not make you want to stop, they will just make you want to drink.
Think one thing, "YES I CAN" I believed it and I have stopped for 34 days.
From a distance I am saying to YOU, "YES YOU CAN". Listen to those words and believe them, because they ARE TRUE.
When you think of stopping, think "YES I CAN"!
I KNOW YOU CAN"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Originally Posted by Obladi
How are you making out, njdellis ?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,417
You can do it--plan to do some fun things w/ family, take walks and showers,
get some nice herbal teas and other non-alcohol drinks to have.
I really like home made hot chocolate--feels comforting and actually helps
me sleep at night.
When the cravings hit, come here and post or distract yourself and they
will pass.
get some nice herbal teas and other non-alcohol drinks to have.
I really like home made hot chocolate--feels comforting and actually helps
me sleep at night.
When the cravings hit, come here and post or distract yourself and they
will pass.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Glad to hear you survived the first day and have launched yourself into a sober weekend. Isn't it nice to remind yourself that you don't have to try to remember what happened last night? I still have to do that almost a month in.
Keep your eye on Monday morning because that will feel really great. In the meantime, do whatever it takes. Some people fill those first days with activity. Me? I watched a ton of Netflix because I didn't have the patience or energy to deal with anything else.
Keep your eye on Monday morning because that will feel really great. In the meantime, do whatever it takes. Some people fill those first days with activity. Me? I watched a ton of Netflix because I didn't have the patience or energy to deal with anything else.
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