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Tapering Advice?

Old 01-31-2016, 05:50 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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By the end of my active alcoholism I was drinking mostly hard liquor between a fifth and liter of rum or vodka a day. A 115 lbs woman, btw. I've attempted tapering a few times, each time unsuccessful in my case. What worked for me was cold turkey after a bad binge, but I would not recommend my method as I had not sought medical assistance for it -- would not repeat that one. I was seriously dependent on alcohol, both physically and mentally. It was a scary detox for me, despite knowing nowadays there are much better ways if we get our a$$es to the doctor.
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Old 01-31-2016, 06:02 PM
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So, once you finish your taper what are you willing to do to insure you don't start drinking again?
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Old 01-31-2016, 06:43 PM
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That's half the reason I'm here, for support and information and strategies.

I went several-months-in-a row not drinking in the past when I moved in with my mother to help her with her mortgage (she was sober at the time after a bad year), but then she briefly moved out and then back in with her new husband moved in with me when they fell off the wagon and the stress of the whole thing pushed me over the edge. Up until that point anhedonia and loneliness were my only draw to drink again. I moved out and was depressed for a while and it took me a few months to stop again. I moved in with a SO who knows I have past issues but I was able to stop before moving in with her. She rarely drinks, we've shared drinks when the rare (like two or three times a year) occasion arose, and I occasionally used to drink a good beer without issue. Then this past year I started becoming seriously depressed for the first time in the few years we've lived together and my work life went to crap with the arrival of a new boss. So I've been drinking more days than not, breaks of a week or so at a time, and without more than a shaky hand for a while or the sweats, and I've had a slight tremor in my hands and been sweatier than average since I was a child, so no one notices. I have back issues and we don't sleep in the same bed because of it, even before I started drinking again, so at some point I go to my room, she goes to hers, and she has no idea when it's getting bad, especially since I never get blind drunk.

I've never had a support system, no one knows half of this, and I didn't have a plan other than: Don't drink, in the past. I'm a private, introverted person, too proud for my own good. I've been functional all this time; doing fairly well at work all along, if probably moodier than I should be; no real drunk driving to speak of, no fights, no blackouts; I'm about to graduate with high honors with my Bachelor's finally after taking a break for years; I just landed a new job; things with the SO are going well outside of my failure to be honest with her about this. I'm tired though, and my health is starting to show the wear and tear. I've recommitted to my health lately, and this is the big piece that needs to change.

I feel like if I do the safest road though, go away for a few days, I stand to lose the SO, lose the house I live in, potentially lose the job. Cold turkey is starting to look more appealing unless I can get the withdrawals under control or I'm lucky and my old doctor is willing to see me and not just send me to the hospital. I've done cold turkey while drinking slightly heavier than this before, and without the week of sobriety I just had at the end of December, and it was hell. Maybe I can just pass it off as the flu until things pass over. Last time I had a day of shakes, sweating, anxiety, and watching movies and not sleeping at all and then a day of being weak and extremely tired and miserable and watching movies, but still not able to sleep. Could be worse, but maybe then I'll end up having more serious symptoms and have to bite the bullet and go to the hospital, and then everything comes out. I don't even know, I hate that it's come to this. I guess I'll continue to reduce and hope I don't hit a wall before it's too late. New job starts next Tuesday, so I have a full week to at least get back to being able to only drink in the evening without withdrawals during the day, but if I wait too long then potential inpatient detox will kill that.
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Old 01-31-2016, 06:53 PM
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Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
that you feel you "need" six drinks to feel comfortable indicates this problem is bigger than you may be capable of dealing with, at home on your own.
I can't disagree with most of what you said at all, and I need to do more than just stop drinking for a few months to call it a success, but just to clarify. What happened was that I tried to ride out what I thought would just be a little bit of the hand shakes, which I've done before and felt fine after several hours, and then it progressed more than I'd realized it would. By that point, it took me four drinks to notice a decrease in the shakes, and two more (spread out over a couple of hours to make sure I wasn't doing more than I needed) to be withdrawal symptom-free. Like I posted a short while ago, earlier, looking at my log, and feeling the first signs of symptoms again and knowing they were about due, I was fine with two drinks, so I was just thinking that this means I might be able to use the HAMS method, which I've seen several success stories with in forums. You're still probably right, all the same.
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Old 01-31-2016, 07:03 PM
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What you describe above sounds like a pretty extreme case of physical dependence to me. Keep in mind too that you could easily experience much more severe symptoms this time even if you never have before..and even when you are still tapering. The HAMS method promotes controlled drinking which is not a topic of discussion allowed here.

Please be safe, you cannot reason your way out of withdrawals...and they can be very dangerous as has been stated multiple time here. And as also has been said, we cannot advise you on a taper program as that would constitute medical advice. Please seek some if you feel you need it.
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Old 01-31-2016, 07:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
You can withdraw while tapering - I have personal experience.

The safest option is always to see a Dr.

D
Yeah, good to clarify -- I suffered a seizure while doing a self-designed taper. I was having symptoms just like yours, by the way.

Even a taper should have a doctor's eye on it. Folks die from this stuff, 'ya know.
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Old 01-31-2016, 07:27 PM
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If you start hearing things, seeing things or shaking uncontrollably beyond the regular withdrawals tremors please call an ambulance. I agree with the others that you should seek medical help. At least, call your gp and ask for a prescription for librium or whatever they prescribe in your necks of the woods.
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Old 01-31-2016, 07:38 PM
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I'd say you're a rather disciplined drinker.
One or two drinks in me and everything flies out the window.
You are putting a huge amount of effort and energy into this.
I hope you find an easier way that is also acceptable to you.
Holly.🎋
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Old 01-31-2016, 07:51 PM
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After reading about several medications, if I do end up going that route, that, Librium, does sound like the way to go.

I still don't know that I have a doctor to call is part of my concern, even if so I don't know that she wouldn't insist on inpatient care. I do have high blood pressure, and it's moderately well controlled by medication and having finally been diagnosed with sleep apnea (I've had a snoring issue since well before my drinking got serious, but I had no idea how serious THAT could be on its own). When I check my blood pressure at home, I tend to fall around the borderline range now, but my anxiety is always high at medical appointments and it always initially reads much higher and usually lowers as I settle in, drinking or no. Then again, maybe that's just an excuse for fear of outcomes.

I just left a job after the injury that left me unable to work there that contributed to all of this, and I haven't gotten a clear answer on my insurance status. I'm still waiting on her to return the paperwork to agree to my medical leave on this injury, and there's a chance my old HR will disagree with it no matter what, but hopefully they will and I'll be able to return (large employer, I just need more experience outside the company to get where I want to be). If she finds my request suspicious, due to timing, or mentions it to HR, I will certainly never find a job there before, which kind of upsets all of my plans. Besides, again, fears she'd insist I be hospitalized. I have tax returns coming, I could possibly pay the hospital bills, but then my wounded car is left ready to die and my new job an hour away.

Too much overlap, too much at once, all of it my fault.

Sorry, I didn't realize that tapering advice was disallowed here, though I'd seen talk of disallowing "medical advice" on another site as well. Boundaries there are wishy washy, I should find the rules here since I would like to actually get post-sobriety support and advice here even so. I would have titled this differently as well, by now it's less about tapering and more about wading through the mess I've made and looking for the best branch to grab onto to pull myself out.
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Old 01-31-2016, 08:20 PM
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You will have a much easier time if you go to a doctor. I absolutely dreaded inpatient detox for the same reasons you do - I didn't want people to know, I didn't want to lose my job, etc. I tried to taper, and had a seizure on my second day. I was home alone, and no one helped me. I'm lucky I didn't die. Going to detox was EASY once I committed. And you know what? Nobody questioned me about it. I simply said I was away for a few days, with no additional explanation.
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Old 01-31-2016, 08:22 PM
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If you are in the US, pay the doctor cash and tell her that you are currently uninsured. That way she will not try to get you in inpatient.
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Old 01-31-2016, 08:26 PM
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Hi Zip! Good luck on your taper, happy to read you will get medical intervention if necessary. Of course you are welcome here and will find lots of support.
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Old 01-31-2016, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by SobrieTee View Post
You will have a much easier time if you go to a doctor. I absolutely dreaded inpatient detox for the same reasons you do - I didn't want people to know, I didn't want to lose my job, etc. I tried to taper, and had a seizure on my second day. I was home alone, and no one helped me. I'm lucky I didn't die. Going to detox was EASY once I committed. And you know what? Nobody questioned me about it. I simply said I was away for a few days, with no additional explanation.
Agreed. Nobody needs to know (except the person you live with). I told people that I'd gone to the ER with sharp stomach pains and they kept me a few days.

As for your fear of being pressured into inpatient... I don't know where you are but I'm in New York State, and here you have to fight to be admitted to inpatient. Getting medical help for alcohol withdrawals is not like turning yourself in for a crime. You won't be kept in custody against your will.
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Old 01-31-2016, 08:41 PM
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I've seen my mother (and her partners) through rehab stints, and heard how in-patient takes days, if not weeks, to achieve. I just don't know what's out there otherwise, honestly. I've always kept it in control enough that I didn't need to except that one horrible cold turkey which I shouldn't have done, but didn't realize what I was getting into. The uncertainty is killing me. I don't know what to do. I would like to believe that I know my body and that my past experience tells me I'm safe to just cut down a bit and then have an uncomfortable day, but that could be wrong and the price could be a lot higher than last time. My doctor has already put up with so much **** from me because I have cancelled and rescheduled and cancelled and rescheduled, knowing that she'd give me a hard time about my blood pressure, and the resulting anxiety made damn sure that was going to happen. This time, if I go cold turkey, I'm actually starting from a better place, but I don't live virtually-alone anymore (good thing if you're hiding, bad thing if you want to be safe, I get it), and I have more alcohol abuse under my belt, even if my symptoms don't seem as bad.
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Old 02-01-2016, 06:46 AM
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How's it going today Zip? I have detoxed with Librium several times, most of the time I was able to do this at home. It was just one time when I was really bad that I had to go into a detox facility. Your doctor is there to help you and not judge you. Detoxing at home was accomplished in about 3-4 days. I was still able to function and actually got a lot done around the house. Just be honest with your dr and see if you can get some meds for home detox. It really is much safer and the meds are really cheap even without insurance. Best Wishes
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