Zeroine

This isn't about being at events where there's alcohol. For various reasons I've never drunk outside my house or in front of other people, so it's a given that I won't drink at social events.

What I'm talking about is the way I see alcohol everywhere. In adverts, in shops, in people's hands, characters in films and books drinking... So I start thinking about drinking and wanting to drink.

How do other people approach this? Do you just have to stay indoors for long stretches, avoiding exposure? Do you think it's better to have exposure and deal with it?

I'm struggling with this one and would welcome any thoughts or experiences.

doggonecarl

Are you still drinking? In your first post you were using HARM reduction. So if you are still drinking, the addiction still has its hooks in you and I'm sure that magnifies the presence of alcohol.

Even if you've stopped drinking, you are in early recovery and it's normal to see alcohol everywhere. It was a huge part of our lives. In the first few weeks of getting sober, I think I noticed every single beer can and bottle tossed on the side of the road as litter. Noticed it and wanted to drink.

I didn't.

Now, with over five years sober, I don't notice how much alcohol surrounds me. And if I notice it, it doesn't bother me.

SoberinSyracuse

I noticed this, too. Then I decided that part of it was ME. I see alcohol everywhere because I'm looking for it. And I'm looking for it because I'm still rather obsessed by it.

I'm not hiding out at home. I go to dinner with people who order a drink. But I'm avoiding situations where drinking is the focus, until I better know what my triggers and limitations are.

A friend wanted me to visit him and hang out for several hours while he drank. I negotiated an alternative. We'll go out to dinner and he'll have a couple drinks with his meal. We'll chat and catch up and when dinner is over we'll part ways. He can then go home and continue to drink without me.

I avoid looking at pictures and advertisements that glamorize drinking because they do make me long for it. I'm comfortable with people drinking if it's adjunct to a meal. But I don't yet feel safe in an environment where drinking is the focus. I'm only at 19 days.

least

In early sobriety I saw it everywhere too. But that's because I was looking for it and was missing it and feeling a loss. With more sober time I stopped seeing it everywhere and now when I do, I don't think twice about it. I'm a non-drinker now.

doggonecarl

Obsessed...that was the word I was looking for.

It is the same as when we drink we think everybody drinks. But when we quit we realize, no, not that many people drink. Not like the way we did. Just the people we hung out with.

nandm

I see this issue the same as cigarettes are everywhere and in my state pot is now legal. As an ex cigarette smoker I could let that bother me but I choose not to let what other people do bother me as the only person I can change is myself. I have friends who are normal drinkers and I have no issues with them having a drink when we go out to dinner. I do admit that if they drank alcoholically I likely would not spend as much time with them because that would bother me since I have found I really don't like being around wet drunks.

There is a lot of alcohol in our society from advertising to movies and TV. It is something that I have learned over the years to live with and rarely notice anymore. It is like when I walk into the grocery store, I just don't go up the alcohol aisle, I do the same with the ads, I just don't pay attention to them. I admit this was harder to do in early sobriety but it does get easier as time goes on.

bullmas

The alcohol industry can stack cases of beers in my driveway, they can give it all for free too , ,but they cant make me drink it . IMO

cheers

Ariesagain

Yet another reason I don't have television!

I know what you mean, though...I'm only on Day 28 and yesterday I watched a movie I've watched before...and for the first time noticed how many times someone had a drink in their hands. It was pretty much continual.

This too shall pass...

Zeroine

doggonecarl, hope you won't mind if I don't talk about my approach to getting to abstinence - did all that in my intro thread and don't want to spark a discussion about it here. But very glad to receive responses on this topic.

I hope it will be enough, talking about this topic, to say that for example today I didn't drink. I also didn't go out because the first place I'd walk past is a shop with an enormous window full of wine bottles and I feel too tired for the internal battle.

Actually, my friends don't drink. I've never liked hanging out with drinkers and we don't go to pubs or bars, so my social life isn't a problem. It's the incidental stuff - work parties, advertising, walking down the street, people at other tables in restaurants etc - that's the problem.

People are probably right that it seems to be everywhere because that's my focus at the moment. Lol, it makes so much sense and I never even thought of that. How nice to think that it won't be like that always.

But in the meantime... how exactly do you pay no attention? I mean, in a practical way. Do you turn your head away, run round the block, stare it out....? I'm afraid I've never been able to think in the abstract, so any concrete examples would be great.

Thanks!

courage2

I still pay attention to alcohol I see on the streets and in shops -- especially for some reason little airplane bottles in the gutter. I guess that tells you what kind of a drunk I was

Seeing all the images doesn't trigger me anymore because the commitment I made to a sober life is much stronger than the whim of a moment or even a spell. It's like I notice attractive bodies but it doesn't make me go out and sleep with strangers.

When I lack that complete commitment, liquor store window displays are like porn for me. 's true.

sleepie

It practically rains beautifully packaged craft beers in my city. All these cool designs on the trucks that deliver them and on the cans and packages, made to look like tattoo art, or with bike themes and funny names, unicorns and other hipster-y visual appeals.

It's really hard at first and will be for awhile, I just remind myself that this is marketing and it's all the same s*** in pretty packaging. Maybe sour grapes but oh well. I can just buy and enjoy my equally designed, themed and packaged hipster coffee lol

But yeah it is a real task at first.

JeffreyAK

Decide to quit completely, avoid it for a while (like don't go down the alcohol aisle at the supermarket, take the restaurant seat that doesn't face the bar, look away or change the channel if an ad or drinking scene comes up on TV), and eventually it's no big deal and not triggering.

Fluffer

I don't think you are ever going to find an environment where you will not be confronted with the sight of alcohol unless you move to a strict Islamic country. I'm afraid you are going to have to win the battle in your own mind. The good news is that you can do it if you are willing to work on it enough.

MIRecovery

I found I was obsessed with the thought of drinking until I gave up the battle and decided that I had to part with my best friend vodka forever. As long as there was a crack in the door my AV would not let me alone

courage2

^^^ Yup. I really do think it starts with the decision. It helps me to be certain that for me, drinking under an circumstances is not an option. Then all the pictures in the world are just eye-garbage.

FenwayFaithful

The battle lives within our minds not within our environment. With that said I agree that with alcohol it can be a bit more challenging because it's every where, all of the time, in your face and it's normalized in our society. However, there are alcoholics who have alcohol in their house and go to work events, bars etc where people are actively drinking without a problem. I haven't drank in 6 months (but I've used other substances so only in recovery for 3) and I still find it hard to be around those who are, which is okay, it's just a situation I have to stay out of for now. I notice places where I could pick up my DOC or see people enjoying a drink and think that might be nice but then I remember I'm an addict/alcoholic so I've lost my right to drink, just like they say in the rooms if you're allergic to strawberries you're not going to go around eating them, or once you're a pickle you can't go back to being a cucumber, many of us have tried and we have all failed. I'll admit I've let myself get stuck in those obsessions which is when I raise my hand and share about it at a meeting or call my sponsor or do something to get myself out of that thought. I have two choices today, not to pick up no matter what and not to allow myself to stay stuck in that head space.

awuh1

Zeroine, I believe doggonecarl has a very valid point. If you have not given up alcohol completely you are only spinning in circles. You can dance around the problem with your use of moderation, but there will come a point of exhaustion. Sorry but helping you moderate seems a little too much like enabling for my taste.

SoberinSyracuse

In a restaurant, I quickly flip past the menu page with the cocktails. If a tent card has cocktail pictures, I just casually move the napkin holder in front of it. I don't gaze at people's drinks. I keep my eyes on the road while driving by liquor stores or billboards. In stores, I walk briskly by alcohol without looking. I do all this without making a production. Nobody notices.

Nevel

I think we all have ways of avoiding things right in front of us. Its fairly easy to close our eyes for a moment but our minds still see it i think. I think when we are ready our minds will tell us. I have come to think that addiction is a mind controlling disease. We eventually have to learn to think and act differently to do the right thing. When you do the right thing you end up learning 2 lessons. Right and wrong! I tend to try to remember that although our addictions can momentarily make us feel better but in the end it only hurts us or the ones we love. If we are trying to lead a new and better life reflecting on the good and the bad has helped me to move along.
In short, i too close my eyes when i can or walk or drive a different way to avoid triggers but the end goal for me is to one day except those triggers for what they are and walk right past them. We have to learn that we just cant drink or use, its always going to be out there. It cant be avoided forever.

CAPTAINZING2000

I've not paid much attention to the alcohol commercials in years except for the ones they spoon feed us on the Super Bowl .

This ad on tv caught my eye Thursday night while watching a program.
Henry's Hard Soda

When, it first came on I fully paying attention. I thought it was a new soda until, they were giving a description of it.
Keep your mind active as possible on other things. Keep your body active as well.
The obsession for alcohol will eventually leave your thought process.