Did you get sober for anyone?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Did you get sober for anyone?
I quit so that I could have a chance at a healthy life with someone I like quite a bit.
He's an enabler so I knew that I could have kept drinking every day and just gone on that way while we are together.
And then I was looking at FB one day and I saw all these wedding pics of someone and I thought if I want a chance at that or anything resembling it, I have to stop now.
I think I'll get a lot of "You have to stop for YOU" kinda responses but I stopped for "Us".
He was a weekend binge drinker for many years who chose alcohol sodden weekends over dating until we met as well.
How about you guys?
He's an enabler so I knew that I could have kept drinking every day and just gone on that way while we are together.
And then I was looking at FB one day and I saw all these wedding pics of someone and I thought if I want a chance at that or anything resembling it, I have to stop now.
I think I'll get a lot of "You have to stop for YOU" kinda responses but I stopped for "Us".
He was a weekend binge drinker for many years who chose alcohol sodden weekends over dating until we met as well.
How about you guys?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
sleepie,
when you quit to have a chance at something, to have possibilities...i think that's quitting for you. whether that involves others or not.
you want that shot at things.
glad you're here.
when you quit to have a chance at something, to have possibilities...i think that's quitting for you. whether that involves others or not.
you want that shot at things.
glad you're here.
Last edited by fini; 01-28-2016 at 07:05 PM. Reason: oh: i quit for me. to have a chance. possibilities.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I used to just wish someone cared enough about me to intervene. I am kinda floored when people say their families or loved ones want them to stop or help them to stop and they don't. I don't understand but I never had anyone participate in my recovery but me. BF's an enabler so eventually dietary changes and exercise will be up to me too...
It gets kinda annoying tho because he will follow my lead. I don't wanna be in charge. I want him to make his own decisions or get his own ideas lol!
It gets kinda annoying tho because he will follow my lead. I don't wanna be in charge. I want him to make his own decisions or get his own ideas lol!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I stopped for me, but part of that was to make myself a better husband and father too. So I think it's fine to have multiple reasons/motivations to get and stay sober.
I would warn against using Facebook to be a barometer of how happy others are though. I personally shut down my FB account a few years ago and it was one of the best decisions I've made
I would warn against using Facebook to be a barometer of how happy others are though. I personally shut down my FB account a few years ago and it was one of the best decisions I've made
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I got talked into it. I was off it for quite awhile.
But it did oddly get me on the track to where I am today.
I guess it was a case of jealousy turned for a good cause (or wistful thinking really as I am not jealous of the people in the pics)
But it did oddly get me on the track to where I am today.
I guess it was a case of jealousy turned for a good cause (or wistful thinking really as I am not jealous of the people in the pics)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
I'm all for whatever works for you to get some time sober but ..
What happens if or when it doesn't work out with you and this other person.
Seems maybe like a built in clause to drink.
___
I quit for my own well-being.
What happens if or when it doesn't work out with you and this other person.
Seems maybe like a built in clause to drink.
___
I quit for my own well-being.
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
I did it for me. I wanted to be the kind of person who would naturally attract good things and good people. One of the things I'd like to do someday is get married again. And that can't happen (at least not in a healthy way) unless I'm sober and healthy myself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
I don't think so Blacky we both want to get married.
I'm pretty done with it all too though there's no convincing you or anyone.
His family actually intervened on him. He was annoyed. And didn't think he was a big drinker despite having woken up with a broken leg once and no recollection how it happened... and he drove home...
It was many many years ago. His solution was to stay in and not drive while drinking.
I'm pretty done with it all too though there's no convincing you or anyone.
His family actually intervened on him. He was annoyed. And didn't think he was a big drinker despite having woken up with a broken leg once and no recollection how it happened... and he drove home...
It was many many years ago. His solution was to stay in and not drive while drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 359
I don't know if I quit for anyone or not honestly.
There were several false starts after making a huge fool of myself and swearing off in a failed attempt to repair the damage.
A lot of it had to do with my son. He doesn't deserve to grow up having to deal with a drunk for a mother - all of my earliest memories of my parents involve them being loaded. I remember my mother standing in her wedding dress throwing up off the side of the porch...what away to ring in the nuptials.
Some of it had to do with me. Alcohol was killing me and I went through a period where I decided if it was killing me I was goi g to let it and got a lot worse...but it didn't so that probably led to sobriety also...realizing that I wasn't going to just did so the only alternative was to quit.
Then there's some of my boyfriend in there. He shouldn't have to deal with a drunk either.
So there's not really a whole specific answer there. Ultimately though I don't think it was for me...but it was most definitely for my kid.
There were several false starts after making a huge fool of myself and swearing off in a failed attempt to repair the damage.
A lot of it had to do with my son. He doesn't deserve to grow up having to deal with a drunk for a mother - all of my earliest memories of my parents involve them being loaded. I remember my mother standing in her wedding dress throwing up off the side of the porch...what away to ring in the nuptials.
Some of it had to do with me. Alcohol was killing me and I went through a period where I decided if it was killing me I was goi g to let it and got a lot worse...but it didn't so that probably led to sobriety also...realizing that I wasn't going to just did so the only alternative was to quit.
Then there's some of my boyfriend in there. He shouldn't have to deal with a drunk either.
So there's not really a whole specific answer there. Ultimately though I don't think it was for me...but it was most definitely for my kid.
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