SoberinSyracuse

At least you recognize the drinking thoughts starting to come on so you have a chance at fighting them.

I don't know what you felt like while you were drinking. For me, I was sick, hungover, in misery every single day. Hopefully, you at least suffer less now.

As for pleasure in life... I don't think sobriety is the magic pill for that. But look at this way: While you were drinking, your options were limited. Everything from hobbies, to finances, to dating/sex, to long-term hopes and dreams. You couldn't do much for pleasure except drink.

Now, sober, you at least have a fighting chance to explore what life has to offer. This would be a good time to busy yourself trying stuff out. If for no other reason than to keep moving and outrun the drinking voice.

Good luck, and I believe you can do this.

Gottalife

I suppose there is a remote chance you are suffering from untreated alcoholism.

The symptoms are very similar to anxiety or depression, and you can throw in restless, irritable and discontent, not to mention boredom. If that is what you are describing it illustrates the difference between an alcoholic and a problem drinker. The problem drinker usually gets better by stopping drinking, the alcoholic usually gets worse unless the alcoholism is treated.

RoyGBiv

Day 142. I don't plan on giving up, I just wish I enjoyed something. I don't mind going to work, but I don't look forward to it either. Then after work, there's nothing I really want to do, so I go home, which I don't mind, but it's getting very old.

I'm already on an antidepressant, I probably need to change, it can be trial and error to find the right one.

doggonecarl

Time to find something to do, even if you don't feel like it.

I've used this analogy before, and it fits here. If you injured your back or had a knee replacement, you'd have to go through physical therapy. They PTs won't say, "Roy, come in when you feel like it." You come in and do the therapy even if you don't feel like it. It's the only way to get better.

Same with this mental funk you are in. You are waiting to feel like doing something before you get off your duff and do something. But you are letting atrophy set in.

Find something to do. The tiniest change in your routine. Then tomorrow, something else, a little bigger. Then make plan, goals, and so on. Be an active participant in your own life, for goodness sake.

Dropsie

I am feeling bad today too -- and drinking is 100 percent not an option, but my problem is, what is.

I drank to control my helplessness, now I am just helpless.

My conclusion is that nothing is going to help unless I let it go. I think that is what the serenity prayer is really about.

We drank for control over the things that were most important to us, but were beyond our control.

But we can't control the uncontrollable, and drinking for control is about the dumbest thing I ever heard.

But that doesn't solve the problem -- how do we deal with those fundamental questions of the soul that we used to drink over.

I guess if they aren't controllable anyway, we got to met them go and trust.

So I am trying that. very hard, but nothing else.

I hope you feel better soon -- I would also advise talking to a doctor about whether you are depressed. Depression meds saved my life 10 years ago.

Don't drink.

Cocorosie

141 days that fantastic!!!!
How your feeling is not fantastic.

I agree with Scottfrom re. anxiety and depression. This is coming from a sufferer myself. My days prior to drinking, and actually during were filled with the feelings you described. And alcohol provided my with brief eurphoric moements of happiness.

I'm to scared of how I will feel when I get to your stage, although definitely seeing a dr could help. What your experiencing could be bigger than alcohol.
My doc mentioned about neurotransmitters, and that it takes time for everything to balance. Also maybe there was underlying depression and anxiety, I know that's what drove me to drink at a young age...

I hope you can find something in your life that brings you joy.