2nd DUI.....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 3,163
Justinn,
We have all been where you are for one reason or another.
I can hear it in your posts -- sure something is wrong but afraid that its the booze cause then you would have to stop drinking.
Trust me -- its the booze -- or at least part of it is.
You can stop if you want to, I hope you find a way to want to, because if you don't you won't.
Good luck to you.
We have all been where you are for one reason or another.
I can hear it in your posts -- sure something is wrong but afraid that its the booze cause then you would have to stop drinking.
Trust me -- its the booze -- or at least part of it is.
You can stop if you want to, I hope you find a way to want to, because if you don't you won't.
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by justinnn 
This is a good question and one I don't really have a good answer to.
If it weren't for the DUI I would not be posting here right now. I guess the DUI has just woken me up a little and made me think about just how much I drink.
I'm a little confused on where I'm at. In the end if I get convicted of this DUI I'm going to have to stop for at least a year if I want to get my license back and complete the terms of my probation(which you can damn sure bet one of them is to stay sober and there will be random testing).
I don't want to wait until my conviction to finally stop because I do want to at least be able to tell the judge hey I've quit drinking and have been going to AA, I've learned my lesson.
I don't know.. I told myself last Sunday night that it would be my last night of drinking and it still hasn't been. The moment I do stop I legitimately want it to my last drink and I guess that is just hard for me to wrap my head around. Maybe I'm asking too much and just need to take it one day at a time.
I appreciate everyone commenting though, it really does help. I also hope to keep this thread updated throughout it all as far as my progress or not with sobriety and my DUI case. Hopefully I can look back at this thread and tell myself things worked out OK and it's not always as bad as I make it seem in my head lol.
If it weren't for the DUI I would not be posting here right now. I guess the DUI has just woken me up a little and made me think about just how much I drink.
I'm a little confused on where I'm at. In the end if I get convicted of this DUI I'm going to have to stop for at least a year if I want to get my license back and complete the terms of my probation(which you can damn sure bet one of them is to stay sober and there will be random testing).
I don't want to wait until my conviction to finally stop because I do want to at least be able to tell the judge hey I've quit drinking and have been going to AA, I've learned my lesson.
I don't know.. I told myself last Sunday night that it would be my last night of drinking and it still hasn't been. The moment I do stop I legitimately want it to my last drink and I guess that is just hard for me to wrap my head around. Maybe I'm asking too much and just need to take it one day at a time.
I appreciate everyone commenting though, it really does help. I also hope to keep this thread updated throughout it all as far as my progress or not with sobriety and my DUI case. Hopefully I can look back at this thread and tell myself things worked out OK and it's not always as bad as I make it seem in my head lol.
Best of luck and I hope it all works out.
The doors of AA are always open.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Hobbesian State of Nature
Posts: 39
Dear Justinn, I wish i stopped at 2 DUIs too.
I hope you've checked out the public transport routes and can ride it out, keep your job, take up reading on the bus, slow down a little, stop drinking, - the latter which always makes fearful things WAAAAAAYYYYYYY more fearful than they would be from the vantage point of a mind without the tension and clouds from alcohol.
All the best for a cheap and speedy DUI resolution, and happy alcohol free future,
I hope you've checked out the public transport routes and can ride it out, keep your job, take up reading on the bus, slow down a little, stop drinking, - the latter which always makes fearful things WAAAAAAYYYYYYY more fearful than they would be from the vantage point of a mind without the tension and clouds from alcohol.
All the best for a cheap and speedy DUI resolution, and happy alcohol free future,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Alcoholism is a progressive disease so your drinking will get worse if you don't take action. You're focusing on getting caught, not on the solution, which your lawyer offered. I couldn't stop drinking on my own and went to AA which has kept me sober since 1991. It works for me because I've learned not to drink one day at a time. I just don't drink TODAY.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Justin, I really hope that you pay attention to this moment in time and make a decision to stop drinking. I understand that it seems easy to put it off because that's the disease speaking to you. This disease wants to continue to pull you in and take away everything that is important to you. Make no mistake, alcoholism is progressive and it will get worse unless you stop.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: East Coast of the US
Posts: 283
I really hope you decide to stop drinking. But if you choose to keep drinking, please don't drink and drive. Innocent people don't deserve to have their lives endangered by someone drunk behind the wheel.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
Posts: 2,693
Hey Justin.
Welcome. Because I can see so much of myself and my old way of thinking in your posts, I'll admit I see some concerning stuff here. It sounds like you are trying to figure out a way to make drinking work still. I tried to make drinking work a long time after I knew it wasn't working and probably wouldn't ever work again.
What does it mean to "try to make drinking work?" Well, I may be projecting here, but I'm guessing you're trying to think of a way to drink less and definitely not get another DUI. I tried to keep drinking while taking vitamins and milk thistle to hopefully combat the liver damage that I was diagnosed with at 32. I was trying to make drinking work. I thought if there was will, there was a way.
This is a tough one because I spent four years reading and posting on here before I stopped drinking. Why would I wait four years? I thought and hoped that some how, some way, I could be someone who could have a few beers with my friends on the weekends. I wanted that more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life. I wanted to be normal.
Well, turns out my life returned to normalcy once I stopped drinking. And for me at least, it couldn't be a little drinking here and there. It had to be a complete 180 in my thinking about my relationship with alcohol, which meant ending the relationship completely.
In some ways it was harder than I thought it would be. This was only because it was really hard at first to give up the idea that I could be an occasional drinker. "You mean, like never, ever ever?"
I dug myself deep enough to where the never, ever, ever started looking like a relief.
Welcome. Because I can see so much of myself and my old way of thinking in your posts, I'll admit I see some concerning stuff here. It sounds like you are trying to figure out a way to make drinking work still. I tried to make drinking work a long time after I knew it wasn't working and probably wouldn't ever work again.
What does it mean to "try to make drinking work?" Well, I may be projecting here, but I'm guessing you're trying to think of a way to drink less and definitely not get another DUI. I tried to keep drinking while taking vitamins and milk thistle to hopefully combat the liver damage that I was diagnosed with at 32. I was trying to make drinking work. I thought if there was will, there was a way.
This is a tough one because I spent four years reading and posting on here before I stopped drinking. Why would I wait four years? I thought and hoped that some how, some way, I could be someone who could have a few beers with my friends on the weekends. I wanted that more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life. I wanted to be normal.
Well, turns out my life returned to normalcy once I stopped drinking. And for me at least, it couldn't be a little drinking here and there. It had to be a complete 180 in my thinking about my relationship with alcohol, which meant ending the relationship completely.
In some ways it was harder than I thought it would be. This was only because it was really hard at first to give up the idea that I could be an occasional drinker. "You mean, like never, ever ever?"
I dug myself deep enough to where the never, ever, ever started looking like a relief.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
I am going through my 2nd dui right now along with hit and run with injury which is a felony that can carry up to 10 years in prison.
I quit drinking right after but only made it about a week. I understand the stress and I used alcohol to self medicate pushing aside the reality.
I am not new to being sober for years at a time, but as said it is progressive and only gets worse. You pick up right where you leave off or at least I do.
I put myself in the program that the court would order as I have not yet been convicted. This program is tied to the court system so they will be notified of my participation and of course they test me with an EtG urine test that goes back 3 or so days.
My lawyer never mentioned any of this. I looked it up myself and found I could pre-enroll before any court order.
I still have a drivers license so I can get to all these weekly classes and group meetings.
So I have put myself in a position where any screw up on my part is going to be reported to the prosecutor and court in my case. Oh I certainly wanted to end the daily drinking from waking to get normal and stop the shakes to out of my head at night and if enough beer was on hand all night into the next day. Bad stuff.
So I am off that gerbil wheel and while I am not all serine I do feel much better.
Good luck man, you want it, do what it takes.
I quit drinking right after but only made it about a week. I understand the stress and I used alcohol to self medicate pushing aside the reality.
I am not new to being sober for years at a time, but as said it is progressive and only gets worse. You pick up right where you leave off or at least I do.
I put myself in the program that the court would order as I have not yet been convicted. This program is tied to the court system so they will be notified of my participation and of course they test me with an EtG urine test that goes back 3 or so days.
My lawyer never mentioned any of this. I looked it up myself and found I could pre-enroll before any court order.
I still have a drivers license so I can get to all these weekly classes and group meetings.
So I have put myself in a position where any screw up on my part is going to be reported to the prosecutor and court in my case. Oh I certainly wanted to end the daily drinking from waking to get normal and stop the shakes to out of my head at night and if enough beer was on hand all night into the next day. Bad stuff.
So I am off that gerbil wheel and while I am not all serine I do feel much better.
Good luck man, you want it, do what it takes.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 709
I think Blacky's advice is good. Go to rehab if you can. The court will respect your decision to do something about your drinking and you may get a lighter sentence. I never thought I could stop drinking until my husband filed for divorce and took custody of our son. I went to rehab right after that and am proud to say I'm sober. I'm pretty sure the judge would have ordered me to a 30-day outpatient treatment center, but I decided to do inpatient. Best decision of my life. Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
They have continued my case to May which will allow me to complete the program and group meetings before my trial. It would have been today and still showed as such yesterday, so I was a bit on edge last night. You never know.
I talked to the prosecutors office this morning and got the new date. I still had to go to the courthouse to see a probation officer so I went up to the court room area and found the docket with my case listed as continued, just to be sure.
I am on a 10k bond and this stuff is no joke.
I talked to the prosecutors office this morning and got the new date. I still had to go to the courthouse to see a probation officer so I went up to the court room area and found the docket with my case listed as continued, just to be sure.
I am on a 10k bond and this stuff is no joke.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Neenah
Posts: 9
Justinn,
Thought I would make a post after 2 years of reading Sr daily the mornings hoping I could put 1 day together after 3 years of drinking everyday,after being sober for 19 years,anyways that's a different story.Things will work there self out if you stay sober.I was where you are at 27 years ago with 2 dui's before I was even 21,court ordered treatment,loss of license,30 days in jail.That was still not enough for me, so 1 year later I missed my ride upnorth because os stopping after work for 1 beer many beers later came home and they were gone.So my bad decision was to head up north by myself instead of just waiting till the next day.Almost made it, 5 more miles to go after driving 125 miles,got in a accident with another car the worst that can happen did she died 30 days later.This was 1989 and the courts gave me everything they could at the time 6 years,It plead no contest,time did not matter the guilt was worse.Told this story at recovery centers,schools.meetings hoping to help some people,believe I did, also helped myself over the years,things will come in time without drinking.
Now after all those years, after being sober I again am having a hard time finding my way.Although I do not drive anymore while drinking I am trapped in a prison again, my house cannot go anywhere most nights after 6pm or I am that Guy on a bike going to get more beer.Alcholism is progressive for sure active or in recovery it keeps going,instead of a binge drinker I am now daily.One day at a time,Serenity prayer says it all.
Thought I would make a post after 2 years of reading Sr daily the mornings hoping I could put 1 day together after 3 years of drinking everyday,after being sober for 19 years,anyways that's a different story.Things will work there self out if you stay sober.I was where you are at 27 years ago with 2 dui's before I was even 21,court ordered treatment,loss of license,30 days in jail.That was still not enough for me, so 1 year later I missed my ride upnorth because os stopping after work for 1 beer many beers later came home and they were gone.So my bad decision was to head up north by myself instead of just waiting till the next day.Almost made it, 5 more miles to go after driving 125 miles,got in a accident with another car the worst that can happen did she died 30 days later.This was 1989 and the courts gave me everything they could at the time 6 years,It plead no contest,time did not matter the guilt was worse.Told this story at recovery centers,schools.meetings hoping to help some people,believe I did, also helped myself over the years,things will come in time without drinking.
Now after all those years, after being sober I again am having a hard time finding my way.Although I do not drive anymore while drinking I am trapped in a prison again, my house cannot go anywhere most nights after 6pm or I am that Guy on a bike going to get more beer.Alcholism is progressive for sure active or in recovery it keeps going,instead of a binge drinker I am now daily.One day at a time,Serenity prayer says it all.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: SW FL
Posts: 9
Well guys, just thought I'd give an update. Thanks for everyone commenting. MelindaFlowers, you hit the nail on the head. I do want to make drinking work. I enjoy it and everyone I know drinks. I just don't like the decisions I make when I have too many(which pretty much everytime I drink I have too many even on week nights...).
Anyway guys, I'm no longer all depressed and worried about this. I'm still scared of what's going to happen and potentially losing my job is a nightmare, but whatever happens happens. I just need to deal with it.
Biggest stress is trying to find a place to live that's close to work or has public transportation nearby. I actually got declined on an apartment a couple days ago and one of the reasons they gave me was because they suspected(and correctly suspected) that I recently got arrested for another DUI. I told them from the get go I had a DUI on my record and they said it was fine, but when they asked for my license I obviously don't have it and had to give them my temporary permit I was issued. They said there's no reason I would still be driving on that from a DUI in 2012 so obviously "there's more than one." Don't know why that matters though, I thought they were only looking for violent or drug crimes. I don't know.
Since my last post I've tried to stay sober, but relapsed twice. I went 4 days once then drank last Friday. Then didn't drink until a full week later... last night the temptations got me again . Now today I feel like **** and mad at myself for drinking. Totally wasn't worth it. It wasn't even fun. All I did was spend money to get high for a few hours and really didn't even enjoy it.
Still I'm proud of myself. Going 12 or so days and only drinking 2 nights... I probably haven't had that many sober days in the last 2 years combined. Hopefully I can stay strong this time... getting through Friday night seems to be an issue.
One last thing, I still haven't gone to AA. I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I've never been to a meeting and have no idea what's it like. Could some of you shed some light on your experiences there?
Anyway guys, I'm no longer all depressed and worried about this. I'm still scared of what's going to happen and potentially losing my job is a nightmare, but whatever happens happens. I just need to deal with it.
Biggest stress is trying to find a place to live that's close to work or has public transportation nearby. I actually got declined on an apartment a couple days ago and one of the reasons they gave me was because they suspected(and correctly suspected) that I recently got arrested for another DUI. I told them from the get go I had a DUI on my record and they said it was fine, but when they asked for my license I obviously don't have it and had to give them my temporary permit I was issued. They said there's no reason I would still be driving on that from a DUI in 2012 so obviously "there's more than one." Don't know why that matters though, I thought they were only looking for violent or drug crimes. I don't know.
Since my last post I've tried to stay sober, but relapsed twice. I went 4 days once then drank last Friday. Then didn't drink until a full week later... last night the temptations got me again . Now today I feel like **** and mad at myself for drinking. Totally wasn't worth it. It wasn't even fun. All I did was spend money to get high for a few hours and really didn't even enjoy it.
Still I'm proud of myself. Going 12 or so days and only drinking 2 nights... I probably haven't had that many sober days in the last 2 years combined. Hopefully I can stay strong this time... getting through Friday night seems to be an issue.
One last thing, I still haven't gone to AA. I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I've never been to a meeting and have no idea what's it like. Could some of you shed some light on your experiences there?
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Would you rather walk thru life or drink, you can't do both.
When I was your age, they didn't hand out the DUI's like they do now.
A person that's not an alcoholic or problem drinker learns a lesson after a DUI.
My son got third DUI and still hasn't gotten his license back after 5 + years.
I'll give you the same advice I gave him, go to AA and get your life turned around.
Your lawyer already said as much.
When I was your age, they didn't hand out the DUI's like they do now.
A person that's not an alcoholic or problem drinker learns a lesson after a DUI.
My son got third DUI and still hasn't gotten his license back after 5 + years.
I'll give you the same advice I gave him, go to AA and get your life turned around.
Your lawyer already said as much.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
I do want to make drinking work. I enjoy it and everyone I know drinks. I just don't like the decisions I make when I have too many(which pretty much everytime I drink I have too many even on week nights...).
It was that first drink.
I'm different to other people - my brain is different - once you add alcohol all my good intentions, all my very genuine desire not to be 'that guy' vanishes...
It didn't happen all the time sure - and I'd look to those few times where I drank 'like a gentleman' as 'proof' I could one day drink normally.
It was dumb luck Justinnn - a handful of times versus *hundreds even thousands * of times where I drank myself wasted - and bad stuff ensued.
It's the first drink, man - not those last ones.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
it's absolutely amazing how much pain and losses an alcoholic will endure and keep drinking!!!! You've gone through a lot, yet you continue to believe that there must be some way to drink and avoid any more problems. It just doesn't work that way. Eventually, you will understand what Dee said, it's the first drink that brings about DUI's, lost jobs, relationships, etc., not the last. That one drink is what's going to make your life worse than it already is. Good luck. John
You can have reasons, or you can have results, but you can't have both.
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 1,232
So bottom line, you're still drinking. Justinn, may I ask you a pointed question? Do you care one whit about human life? Your own or anybody else's?
Because you obviously have chosen not to make your second DUI a turning point. You have chosen to continue to drink and if you do, I can promise you you'll drive drunk again, putting your life and other's lives at risk.
Two DUIs at age 26, and you still "want to make drinking work?"
Because you obviously have chosen not to make your second DUI a turning point. You have chosen to continue to drink and if you do, I can promise you you'll drive drunk again, putting your life and other's lives at risk.
Two DUIs at age 26, and you still "want to make drinking work?"
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