paddyjnr1

I am wondering lately as for the most part I don't hear too much talk about 12 steps groups and it got me thinking can this be sobriety be achieved on SR alone????
I have tried in the past on a different sober site which I wont name and thought it was great until I started to isolate and began to skip meetings and I payed a hefty price for it.
So my question is it possible to stay clean and sober through this site alone???
I have always believed that there is something magical happens when a group of alkies get together and share their experience, strength and hope but I am actually starting to get that from here now.
Or am I on a downward spiral again and my mind is playing tricks with me??? I'm confused....

ALinNS

We all deal with this sickness in different ways for some AA is enough, SR may be enough, having a sponsor, reading, AA Online etc.

I am of the opinion, at least in my case I need to be held accountable by someone who understands and has been there so I chose to get a sponsor and I attend one face to face a week, I am on SR and AA Online daily for now, reading posts or chat helps me and sometimes I can help others.

In my case I am using every resource available, I also see an addictions counselor once a week, I am determined to go to any length to get this sickness behind me and so far it's working.

Once again in my case I started drinking at 16 to bury pain from a traumatic event which I held in until 3 years ago, I am now 51 and alcohol has destroyed so much in my life I am done with it. So I am also getting help in that area to forgive myself as I always thought I was responsible but I wasn't.

I think it's a good idea if we are taking sobriety as our number one priority to use everything we can get our hands on to stay sober and it does get easier in time, we just have to be mindful that AV will be in us for the rest of our lives but we can control it if we stick to a plan and not become overconfident, which happened to me in November after two great years sober, I had also put my plan on a shelf which was a major mistake.

All the best
Andrew

Delfin

I'stayed sober for the past 5 1/2 monts using SR and no meetings or therapy of any kind, but I wouldn't say it's using SR only. The biggest part of my recovery has been my plan and my reading.
Different people have different needs. It's up to each individual to figure out what's going to work for them.

Delfin

paddyjnr1

Thanks guys, yeah I guess I need to go to any lengths to keep myself sober on a daily basis.
I'm just starting to get lazy again so soon after a relapse to get off my ass and go to a one hour meeting which I know will benefit me.
I'll use all the excuses imaginable not to go.

Hawkeye13

I do think some people really do much better with face to face meetings.
That said, I don't use that kind of support, but I certainly would if I found any difficulty
with daily cravings or an unmanageable AV.

I am not a 12 step person either, but I have a very active personal sobriety plan and
I check into SR morning and evening for social support.

As long as I work my program daily, get and offer support here on SR,
and don't fall for the myth of moderation,
I seem to work OK on my own for the most part.

least

The first four years of my sobriety, I saw a counselor weekly and came here daily. I don't see a counselor anymore but still come here every day and give SR huge credit for my staying sober.

Dee74

Sure - for me it was possible, but for others it might not be.

Not that I'm any better (or worse) than anyone else - I just found what works for me

happybeingme

I didn't use this site at first. But I have exclusively used online support. I think it depends on your intentions. For me I started online but decided I would do whatever it took to get and stay sober no matter what. 4.5 years later I am still online but will be at the closest AA meeting I can find if things start going sideways.

MIRecovery

I think as with all things in sobriety we get out what we put in. The thing I find most unfair is that if we put forth a 50% effort we get 0% sober. For me my sobriety journey has to be a 100% effort. If I am not growing, learning, and challenging myself to be a better person I am sure to slowly but surely fall back to my default which is being a drunk.

Maybe everyone is not like this but I know myself only too well. The patterns are too well established and if I don't grow I die. There simply is no status quo for me

Introspectator

For me, SR is all I have done. I did go to 1 AA Meeting early on, but like last effort to get sober (years ago) nothing about AA clicked for me. I think it can, but I find that SR has been vital for me. I don't come everyday to SR, I do read SR almost daily, and I don't post a lot. I am starting day 57 tomorrow and feel great. I think I would say, as others have, whatever it takes to stay sober is what needs to be done, and that applies to me as well. I have been fortunate in my frequenting SR, and the vital element is honesty with myself. I'd also add, I am a very busy guy. I have hobbies, and interests in reading and learning. I cling to these things like there is no tomorrow, they keep me occupied and I am really focusing on improving and expanding my talents. These things are what make my life enjoyable, versus drinking and struggling to survive. When I was drinking, I was in a static state with my talents, and I didn't read at all.
Introspectator

Talkinandwalkin

For me SR was having someone to relate to. This is undoubtedly important from a human stand point especially in the beginning. My ultimate decision and the lords grace was the driving force in getting sober.Not SR, my doctor or any other group. What ever works for you is the perfect path.

Berrybean

I reckon it's your AV kicking in again Paddy. If you don't go, what will you be doing instead?? There is lots of talk of AA and 12-step work on here - some people would say too much (not me though )

Don't you usually feel better after a meeting??

wehav2day

Paddy, there are some who found at to be enough. Have your u stayed sober on sr alone? That's a he question is be asking myself.

I did, but only for six months. Then I relapsed. When I came back to sr, I also got a counseling refresher. I lasted six months again, then started getting restless. I was scared ******** of relapsing so decided to give that aa thing another try. For real this time though. I've been sober ever since, with sr and aa.

I think if you are newly sober, it's the time to do more not less. You can always do a little less when you have solid sober time, like a year or more. I started to trust myself after about a year.

ubntubnt

hi Paddy, I think if you read your two messages above again you will see your AV all over it. Why not write a plan that you feel is going to allow you your best shot to stay sober and then stick to it for a couple of months, no matter what.

Anyone who goes to the gym regularly or trained seriously for a race etc will know that often you have to drag yourself there when you don't feel like it but you know that the consistency of training is critical. Then, often , amazingly you find that some of your best breakthroughs and biggest steps forward come on those same days when you had to drag yourself in the door.

Ken33xx

I like going to AA meetings and usually attend at least one a week.

For me SR is a great on-line recourse and I enjoy the discussions.

If I were out at sea for example and had to spend six months away from AA meetings this is the place I would be everyday.

paddyjnr1

I can so identify with this post, My sponsor once said
"Paddy you are either working on your sobriety or your working on a relapse, no in betweens,"

Powerless1957

For some SR will suffice, for others evidence based CBT works very well, most people around the world manage to quit drinking themselves with no o outside help.... Alcohol more often than not is a symptom of a deeper emotional issue that primarily needs addressing - all i managed in AA was to become classicly conditioned into a mindset that believed servitude to God was the answer... stagnated me for years
There are many ways to recover from dependence on anything, after last year i agree with the majority out there that it´s not a disease or even an allergy, recovery seamlessly leads into just coping with life like everybody else has to.

Thumpalumpacus

My workdays are ten hours, so I can manage my sobriety those days with little problem. SR is a huge help for me -- it functions like my groups on my workdays.

My days off -- Thursday and Friday -- I'm fortunate that two of the three local 12-step meetings (I live out in the country, we don't have many groups) have their meetings, one on each day, and both in the early evening. I don't want to show up to a meeting having drank, and I don't want to skip a meeting, because right now, on my tenth day, that would signal a defeat for me. In short, I feel accountable to my fellow travelers and that helps me tread the straight-and-narrow.

Do what you have to do to make it through today.

ScottFromWI

Everyone is different Paddy, hence the quite varied responses you have already gotten. If you are interested in talk about 12-step groups, remember that there are separate forums here for 12 step programs, you could certainly go check them out if you would like more info. There are also subgroups for secular methods, friends and family, etc.

You are really the only one tha can answer your question though...do you think you'll be able to stay sober with just online support via SR? Most people use a combination of things...so my best suggestion would be to try whatever you have access to and time for - and keep an open mind.

Anna

Paddy, you should do whatever works for you, whatever you are comfortable with. Personally, I have not used AA, but have relied on SR and lots of great books to help me through my recovery journey.