sleepie

After many years of daily drinking, and then what I was told is maintenance drinking I'm unsure what happens next. I mean I feel I wasn't really meant to survive this far, I almost wasn't counting on it. I don't want to have hope or expectations because that only gets you into trouble. I mean what now? This is just gravy I guess, I could suffer poor health from the past addictions at any moment or maybe I won't, either way I don't know if I should try and plan a future or scrap it. Any other long term drinkers here how did you view your future, did you even contemplate a future? Who suffers intense anxiety and what do you do about it? I had several anxiety disorders before drinking. It's not going to get better without drinking, I know this because years of empty headed therapists and my money down the drain before I ever drank can testify... if you know of something you did that worked please let me know. I honestly did better while drinking, with work with life with everything. I know that's not supposed to be said however that's the truth of it. I am worried I will be a crash and burn case again all over again. Is this even worth asking am I the only one who wonders about all this

LiveInPeace

Try to stay in the present moment, one day at a time. Pause. Breathe. Take things moment to moment for now. Try to catch your mind from getting lost in the future.

Are you in AA/ do you have a sponsor?

maverickspoint

All valid questions but the key is too let some of the answers become apparent through sobriety. If you don't want to plan for the future then don't, it's as simple as that. Just take life one day at a time. Your anxieties may still exist in sobriety but one thing is certain, your ability to try and deal with them, find coping mechanisms stands a far greater chance whilst your sober.
None of my psychological based issues get resolved when I clean up, they are all still there. It may take you or I 30 years sober before we find true relief from anxiety but it won't happen whilst being drunk, ever.

ScottFromWI

Now you live your life without the restrictions alcohol presented you. You work on the issues you tried to avoid by drinking...we all have them and they are difficult to face. But they are far easier to conquer sober.

trachemys

Very existential questions, sleepie. The worth of any change in behavior is debatable. All I know is that I am a better person without booze.

bigsombrero

The "now what?" is the big question that many of us face once we know we can achieve long-term sobriety. It's scary and can seem overwhelming...but you should use that question as inspiration. The answer to that question: "Welcome to the world. Your life is now available to live the way you want."

You can start by looking at a dream in the big picture. Break that dream into small, achievable goals (ie: get a job interview, save some cash, purchase some art supplies, etc). You'll notice that very quickly - within months - you'll be in a much better position to make that big picture turn into reality.

Who knows what you'll do? You can do something - and that's better than the opportunities you had before.

Make this second chance count.

If you stay sober, you can do whatever you want. Don't be scared. Embrace it.

Delfin

D.

IWalkTheLine

Im trying it the other way round, planning my future and hoping it will give me the motivation to quit.

Hawkeye13

I don't think you have enough sober time yet sleepie to make the call
that you "did better" using.

Under a year is still very early sobriety, and it is often rough.
maverick's idea of not planning the future is pretty wise
just get through each day right now.

I had a great deal of emotion I had been pushing down for many years surface
when I quit. . .that doesn't get processed in a few months.
I'm sorry it is so difficult right now, but I do know I felt way better
after a year than I did at 3-6 months

LiveInPeace

Now comes the growth. :-) Hang it there, it is so worth it. You can do this!!! Trust yourself.

zjw

take it slow. work on coping skills for anxiety etc.. try to stay in the present moment.

I try to not think about the future much at least without much expectation or attachment. A whatever will be will be attitude helps me.

When i start asking the well what about this and what about that more and more often i think "what does it matter?" i mean sure in a poor me negative sense "what does it matter?" can kinda tear you down. But I think of it more like how is this relevant? I mean seriously in the whole scheme of things does this really matter? I find almost all the time it doesnt matter unless I make it matter once I make it matter is when the inner conflict and anxiety etc.. starts up.

I guess you gotta choose your battles wisely. Not biting off more then you can chew etc..

but yeah I get it sometimes from one view you can feel as if your just drifting aimlessly in a pond or something thinking wtf for? wtf am going? wtf am i doing? I dunno what does it matter? maybe enjoy the drifting some relax for a change?

SoberCAH

For me, the "now what" has been to try to work the 12 Steps of AA, ask God for help everyday, and then try to learn and do His will for me on a daily basis (see: 11th Step).

I guess that I have long term plans, but I don't focus on them very much.

My life has been a blessing which unfolds on a daily basis since I got clean and sober.

Not everyday is payday, so to speak, but none of them have been as bad as my daily drinking life.

Stick around - if you do the right things in recovery, "it" may not get better, but you certainly will.