Don't know if I can do it, but I'm going to try!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4
Don't know if I can do it, but I'm going to try!
Hi all, I'm new here. Found this site last night and it's been an eye opener for me... I can relate to so many of the forum posts.
I have a seriously bad alcohol addiction. I'm not working at the moment so am home all day, everyday pretty much. So what do I do... yep, I drink. From morning until night... day after day after day. I can't remember the last time I was sober. I feel like a shell of my former self. I worry constantly about the damage I'm doing to my health as I continue down this destructive path. I live alone so have no-one to try and intervene in some way. I've been to see my doctor and she wanted me to go immediately into hospital to detox. I had no-one to get me there though and also had my cat to think about so I didn't go. I live in a small town so there's nothing in the way of support locally - I would have to travel to other towns. Can't though because I don't want to drive drunk.
I'm going to try and gradually cut down... would love to just stop but I know that can be extremely dangerous... more so seeing as I haven't anyone to keep an eye on me.
To make matters worse, I'm going through a very tough time in your life. The thought of dealing with those issues without the numbing affect of booze scares me. But I am really letting things go by the wayside with my drinking. Just daily household tasks and personal care is a huge task that I really have to force myself to do. I hate the way the alcohol has made me look so much older and ravished my body. The constant red face is horrific too :-/
I feel so alone and I wish I could just sleep for a solid week and wake up sober... if only ithe were that easy.
I have a seriously bad alcohol addiction. I'm not working at the moment so am home all day, everyday pretty much. So what do I do... yep, I drink. From morning until night... day after day after day. I can't remember the last time I was sober. I feel like a shell of my former self. I worry constantly about the damage I'm doing to my health as I continue down this destructive path. I live alone so have no-one to try and intervene in some way. I've been to see my doctor and she wanted me to go immediately into hospital to detox. I had no-one to get me there though and also had my cat to think about so I didn't go. I live in a small town so there's nothing in the way of support locally - I would have to travel to other towns. Can't though because I don't want to drive drunk.
I'm going to try and gradually cut down... would love to just stop but I know that can be extremely dangerous... more so seeing as I haven't anyone to keep an eye on me.
To make matters worse, I'm going through a very tough time in your life. The thought of dealing with those issues without the numbing affect of booze scares me. But I am really letting things go by the wayside with my drinking. Just daily household tasks and personal care is a huge task that I really have to force myself to do. I hate the way the alcohol has made me look so much older and ravished my body. The constant red face is horrific too :-/
I feel so alone and I wish I could just sleep for a solid week and wake up sober... if only ithe were that easy.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi & welcome goodbyebadtimes 
I'm glad you found us.
Personally I think cutting down is just an exercise in torture. I understand it may seem a gentler easier way but it really wasn't for me.
If I could have control;led my drinking, I would have had no need to cut back.
Cold turkey can be dangerous tho so you really need to consult with your Dr first.
I know that kind of breaking cover is scary but the last thing you need is a bad detox.
There is no good time to quit drinking, especially if you're dependent on it as a coping mechanism for life, but the earlier you quit the easier it will be.
I hope you decide to go for it
D
I'm glad you found us.
Personally I think cutting down is just an exercise in torture. I understand it may seem a gentler easier way but it really wasn't for me.
If I could have control;led my drinking, I would have had no need to cut back.
Cold turkey can be dangerous tho so you really need to consult with your Dr first.
I know that kind of breaking cover is scary but the last thing you need is a bad detox.
There is no good time to quit drinking, especially if you're dependent on it as a coping mechanism for life, but the earlier you quit the easier it will be.
I hope you decide to go for it
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family. It is possible to get sober for good, but you've got to want to be sober more than you want to drink. This site can help and support you, but you've got to put the bottle down. 
It is possible to get sober for good, but you've got to want to be sober more than you want to drink. This site can help and support you, but you've got to put the bottle down. Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome to SR and thanks for sharing! I'll be honest and say that your post is literally chock full of reasons why you can't quit or reasons why you can't or won't seek help. But don't fret, we were all there at one point. "Cutting back" or "tapering off" has a very low success rate as it's merely a form of controlling your drinking. And if you could control your drinking, you wouldn't be here in the first place, right?
The good news is you can break free of the chains of addiction, but you have to be committed ans willing to do the work necessary to get there. You mention wishing you could just wake up I a week and be sober. You could actually...by going through a proper detox as your doctor suggested. Isn't your life worth 7 days? Think about it
The good news is you can break free of the chains of addiction, but you have to be committed ans willing to do the work necessary to get there. You mention wishing you could just wake up I a week and be sober. You could actually...by going through a proper detox as your doctor suggested. Isn't your life worth 7 days? Think about it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4
Well... where I live it's 11.17am, Monday morning. I've already had two cans of Jim Beam and Cola and two glasses of wine... that's pretty bad, right?! It's a public holiday here and the local medical centre is closed. They'll be open again tomorrow but it really sucks that I can't do anything to help myself until then. Got so many thoughts running through my mind and I wish I could just switch them off.
Thanks all for your kind words, it truly helps.
Thanks all for your kind words, it truly helps.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 524
Hi GBT,
You've already made a big step towards recovery in admitting you have a problem. I agree with Scott though, I heard a lot of your AV (addiction voice) in your first post creating excuses. I recognize that because I did it too when I first started trying to get sober. Most of us have also tried cutting back or tapering. Most of us had no luck only slipping further into our addictions which is why you won't find many who support that approach.
Your doctor recommended hospital detox for a reason and I think thats really the way to start this off. Please listen to your doctor. It will be the safest way possible and will give you a fighting chance to recovery. If you do not have a friend or family member who could check on your cat while your in detox perhaps there is a neighbor you trust? Best of luck to you on this and keep posting and reading around the forums. You'll find great advice and support here.
You've already made a big step towards recovery in admitting you have a problem. I agree with Scott though, I heard a lot of your AV (addiction voice) in your first post creating excuses. I recognize that because I did it too when I first started trying to get sober. Most of us have also tried cutting back or tapering. Most of us had no luck only slipping further into our addictions which is why you won't find many who support that approach.
Your doctor recommended hospital detox for a reason and I think thats really the way to start this off. Please listen to your doctor. It will be the safest way possible and will give you a fighting chance to recovery. If you do not have a friend or family member who could check on your cat while your in detox perhaps there is a neighbor you trust? Best of luck to you on this and keep posting and reading around the forums. You'll find great advice and support here.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 801
Welcome to the forum, you are among friends and people that truly understand as we have been there.
I think the first step is to put a cork on the bottle(s) or pour them out, let your brain clear a little, keep coming back as we are here to help each other.
Wishing you the very best
Andrew
I think the first step is to put a cork on the bottle(s) or pour them out, let your brain clear a little, keep coming back as we are here to help each other.
Wishing you the very best
Andrew
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
It's a public holiday here and the local medical centre is closed. They'll be open again tomorrow but it really sucks that I can't do anything to help myself until then.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4
Hi all... a bit of a positive update! I was able to get in touch with the on call doctor think goodness and told him my situation straight up. Needless to say, he was very concerned... especially since I'm on my own and was thinking I was going to tough it out without medical supervision. He's contacted the hospital (nearest one to here is 45 mins drive away). Due to the seriousness of my situation, they've made a place available for me for immediate detox. Obviously I can't drive there myself so I have swallowed my pride and called my sister. Feel bad as she lives 45 mins from here so it'll be a lot of driving for her. She really had no idea of the extent of my problem. She's my twin and we're similar in so many ways, except for the drinking. She'll go all year and only have a glass or two in special occasions. I know she's kind of mad at me and doesn't really understand it, but being the awesome sister she is, she's pretty much dropping everything for me. She will look after the cat too, so that's a relief.
I have no idea how long I'll be kept in the hospital for... I'll find out more when I get there I suppose.
Well, my sister is on her way and I'm ready to go. Will take my tablet and cellphone so hopefully can update you all... really helps being able to talk about what's going on to people that fully understand and have been where i am now and don't judge.
I'm so ready to do this... I HAVE to!
I have no idea how long I'll be kept in the hospital for... I'll find out more when I get there I suppose.
Well, my sister is on her way and I'm ready to go. Will take my tablet and cellphone so hopefully can update you all... really helps being able to talk about what's going on to people that fully understand and have been where i am now and don't judge.
I'm so ready to do this... I HAVE to!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 5,250
Originally Posted by goodbyebadtimes 
Hi all... a bit of a positive update! I was able to get in touch with the on call doctor think goodness and told him my situation straight up. Needless to say, he was very concerned... especially since I'm on my own and was thinking I was going to tough it out without medical supervision. He's contacted the hospital (nearest one to here is 45 mins drive away). Due to the seriousness of my situation, they've made a place available for me for immediate detox. Obviously I can't drive there myself so I have swallowed my pride and called my sister. Feel bad as she lives 45 mins from here so it'll be a lot of driving for her. She really had no idea of the extent of my problem. She's my twin and we're similar in so many ways, except for the drinking. She'll go all year and only have a glass or two in special occasions. I know she's kind of mad at me and doesn't really understand it, but being the awesome sister she is, she's pretty much dropping everything for me. She will look after the cat too, so that's a relief. I have no idea how long I'll be kept in the hospital for... I'll find out more when I get there I suppose. Well, my sister is on her way and I'm ready to go. Will take my tablet and cellphone so hopefully can update you all... really helps being able to talk about what's going on to people that fully understand and have been where i am now and don't judge. I'm so ready to do this... I HAVE to!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 4
Thanks all for your encouragement, I really appreciate it!
Feeling excited and a little anxious too that I'm finally taking that first step and that I'm going about it the right way. If I hadn't joined this forum, I don't think I would have. I'm going to do this. Been writing a list of all the things that I used to do that kept me busy and happy before alcohol took over everything. I want goals and things to keep me busy when I'm back home.
I have no idea what to expect the next few days... haven't been through anything like this before and haven't been a patient at a hospital since I was a kid!
Will update y'all when I can
Feeling excited and a little anxious too that I'm finally taking that first step and that I'm going about it the right way. If I hadn't joined this forum, I don't think I would have. I'm going to do this. Been writing a list of all the things that I used to do that kept me busy and happy before alcohol took over everything. I want goals and things to keep me busy when I'm back home.
I have no idea what to expect the next few days... haven't been through anything like this before and haven't been a patient at a hospital since I was a kid!
Will update y'all when I can
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