What was your mentality when drinking?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Hobbesian State of Nature
Posts: 39
H Kevf11, I have not looked back enough and this fact has probably contributed to me continually relapsing, because I choose to forget the trouble and lies my thoughts that say it is OK to drink, will bring me. I never liked meetings because I hated ruminating - I was already ashamed enough, to my mind. The key for me (having relapsed again 4 x between Nov and NYE) is ~ how to remember to NEVER give in to those temptations (that I expect will come in about 6 months time), ~ thanks for bringing it up ~ I also agree with those that rumination is not ideal, because that aspect of meetings has always made me more sad than happy..... but I will use this forum from now on. I just signed up here today. Thanks.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 28
Originally Posted by Beccybean 
Well, from what you say, your drinking certainly isn't enhancing your life, yet you carry on doing it. And doing it to excess despite that.
Only you can say if your drinking is making your life unmanageable, and you are an alcoholic. There are lots of online tests. I tried all of them (thinking each one much be wrong. Or a wind-up. Or silly. Or whatever, when they said I was an alcoholic. I drove myself mad trying to stop drinking on my own for a month (this after years of various attempts to moderate my drinking in various ways). Then I went to AA to ask if they thought I was an alcoholic - expecting them to say no, and hopefully tell me how to drink 'normally'.
Do YOU think you have a similar mentality to an alcoholic??
Maybe have a go at some of those online question / answer thingies. Here's the AA one...
Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You? Twelve questions only you can answer
Newcomers | About AA | Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd
Only you can say if your drinking is making your life unmanageable, and you are an alcoholic. There are lots of online tests. I tried all of them (thinking each one much be wrong. Or a wind-up. Or silly. Or whatever, when they said I was an alcoholic. I drove myself mad trying to stop drinking on my own for a month (this after years of various attempts to moderate my drinking in various ways). Then I went to AA to ask if they thought I was an alcoholic - expecting them to say no, and hopefully tell me how to drink 'normally'.
Do YOU think you have a similar mentality to an alcoholic??
Maybe have a go at some of those online question / answer thingies. Here's the AA one...
Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You? Twelve questions only you can answer
Newcomers | About AA | Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd
im not in any denial that i am INFACT an alcoholic, the trouble i am having is does someone who drinks every day to excess or someone who drinks at the weekend to excess share the same mentality? and im assuming they do.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Originally Posted by kevf11
im not in any denial that i am INFACT an alcoholic, the trouble i am having is does someone who drinks every day to excess or someone who drinks at the weekend to excess share the same mentality? and im assuming they do.
Alcoholism is pretty unique in that most of us really, really did/do not believe we are alcoholics. I know I didn't and it took me several months after I quit to come to grips with this.
I am more convinced today than ever of the importance and gift understanding this is for me was - otherwise I could convince myself I am a heavy or problem drinker and with time I can drink again.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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Originally Posted by kevf11
im not in any denial that i am INFACT an alcoholic, the trouble i am having is does someone who drinks every day to excess or someone who drinks at the weekend to excess share the same mentality? and im assuming they do.
Has this thread helped you work out any kind of plan yet?
D
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Hobbesian State of Nature
Posts: 39
My mentality when drinking first starts with a fear ridden denial when I would go to the bottle shop and buy alcohol. Which would shortly be followed by another visit because it pains me to stop drinking once I have started.
With the initial fateful 'high' all rationality goes out the window and it is a race to the pass out stage.
My brain has been altered from binge drinking. There is a good article about why alcohol addiction is so ingrained in binge drinkers, but I can't post a link yet as I am too new on here (a site rule).
Kev I hope you don't beat yourself up about your mentality, which I am sure is the mentality of a good person, but is also easily affected (and if you are me, sabotaged by) alcohol. A bad hand to be dealt and unwittingly reinforced but not a hand that we have to play again, ever, if you get what I mean. Thanks for your post.
With the initial fateful 'high' all rationality goes out the window and it is a race to the pass out stage.
My brain has been altered from binge drinking. There is a good article about why alcohol addiction is so ingrained in binge drinkers, but I can't post a link yet as I am too new on here (a site rule).
Kev I hope you don't beat yourself up about your mentality, which I am sure is the mentality of a good person, but is also easily affected (and if you are me, sabotaged by) alcohol. A bad hand to be dealt and unwittingly reinforced but not a hand that we have to play again, ever, if you get what I mean. Thanks for your post.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Hobbesian State of Nature
Posts: 39
Hi kevf11 ~ I won't pm you because I can't advise on a plan, (aside from resisting any future thoughts to drink, it is thoughts that trick me...) though I did email a contact about finding a secular AA meeting group in my area. There was one a few years ago, whether it is still on, I don't know yet. I hope you feel better and more in control for your meeting (y) Good on you.
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