tursiops999

I know there's probably no single answer to this question, but I'm interested in people's thoughts. How much recovery work is needed long-term, and how important is face to face support? I'm wanting to make changes to my recovery plan, but don't want to do something stupid.

I've been sober almost 16 months and feel very good. I got sober on my first try and have not relapsed. I've been very active in doing recovery stuff this whole time ... AA meetings 2 - 4 times per week, worked the steps, read many books on alcoholism & recovery, daily gratitude list, meditation & prayer, journaling, reading SR daily. I also just remind myself that I don't drink or use no matter what.

I'm wanting to change up my personal recovery routine a bit, and reduce or eliminate meetings, to make more time for fun sober activities (more exercise, I'm joining a chorus in January, want to take dance classes).

I'm also wanting to reduce my participation in AA. I won't go into details, as I don't want to debate recovery methods. Although I'm grateful to folks in AA for helping me in the early months, and I know it works for many people, I'm not feeling like it's the best fit for me long-term. These days I am getting more out of other resources (like the Lifering book in particular).

How does one know if one is doing enough? What are the warning signs that one might be headed for a relapse? (I don't want to find out the hard way).

ScottFromWI

To be honest, one of the warning signs is posting a thread wondering if it's OK to cut back on your current recovery program ;-) I say that tongue-in-cheek, but it's true to a certain extent.

You say that you want to cut back on AA for "reasons you don't want to mention". You certainly don't need to mention them publicly, but ask yourself if those reasons are really valid, or is it perhaps your AV sneaking in telling you that you are somehow "better"?

People's needs definitely change, and each person responds to every sobriety method differenly. If you are more in tune with LifeRing and it fits your support needs better, then that might be a great way to go. But again, sit and think long and hard about your motivation to cut back on support and what it really means.

DG0409

I think this is a really great topic.

I can definitely relate to hitting that point of wanting to do more living and less focus on recovery. My goal in recovery was never to be going to 7 AA meetings a week when I'm 10 years sober or something. Not that I have anything against anybody that does that, just that it wasn't my vision for where I wanted to go.

I think that going out and living your life and doing the things you want to do is actually a part of recovery and becoming the person that you want to be.

For the first year or so after I got sober, I was on SR constantly. Then I kind of drifted away a bit. At about a year and a half sober, I started going to AA sometimes. Now, I go to AA once or twice a week, although I didn't go at all for a few months this summer. I'm generally not on SR much, but I've been struggling with my relationship and so I've been coming on here more for some extra support and just reading stuff to keep me busy and remind me why I'm sober.

I also go to yoga 2-3 times a week, although there have been months during my sobriety that I've stopped going. For me, yoga is a big thing for my recovery and just for keeping my grounded in life in general. These days, I just feel comfortable with the balance in my life between recovery vs. non-recovery related activities.

There was definitely a time though when I felt like it was time to kind of get away from all the time on SR and actually live my life. I think that it just takes some experimenting to find what level of involvement works for you and it may change along the way.

Try to keep in touch with yourself about where you're at. If you start feeling miserable, sad, stressed, etc. it may be a good time to do more recovery stuff. If you're generally feeling good, it's probably ok to cut back on it. I do think it's good to keep in touch with some sort of recovery stuff even during the good times... even if that just means taking the time for a gratitude list each day and checking in to make sure you feel good about how your life is going.

tomsteve

You slowly but surely remove all those elements from your life that keep you anchored and balanced.
You are extremely defensive when anyone brings up the changes in your behavior and attitude.
You start acting the way you did when using: selfish and moody.
breaking down of social relationships.

You stop doing what you need to do to stay abstinent.

.......

GhostFace

I for once never been to AA and my social anxiety stopped me from going. I had to fail and modify my recovery several times to fit my needs in order to serve my recovery.

My list includes:

Reading
Gym
Showing support in SR
Meditating

My plan is short and simple and the gym is the my biggest form is stress relief and a prime reason I'm sober. Will this plan work for everyone? Absolutely not ,but it works for me and that's all that matters.

Fly N Buy

I can't answer you're question, but thanks for the post. I have had similar feelings at times about AA and going in different directions. For me it wasn't the program it was personalities(which I was putting before principles, maybe) I recall one thread I posted entitled something like Smiley Jack at meetings.

There was one guy who moved in and acted like he was running for mayor in the rooms. Really bothered me. But I realized it was me who had the problem. Maybe the guy is or isn't a knucklehead - that was beside the point. It is a spiritual axiom if disturbed something is wrong with me.

Anyway, I dealt with it using our principles. That experience was a huge growing moment in my sobriety.

Bill W wrote this one time, published in As Bill sees it - "It would be a product of false pride to claim that AA is a cure-all, even for alcoholism."

I like the fact he was never myopic about recovery - wish some old timers would remember that!

To thine own self be true............I always have to check my motivations. The rub is that I don't always understand what my motivations where at the time I acted.

Great thread - very timely topic

Gottalife

Dr Silkworth wrote about one angle to this, suggesting that alcoholics are just human and, like anyone recovering from some scary medical situation through leading a disciplined life, (like diet and excersise) they will eventually begin to question it. They will risk a short deviation from the regime, and finding no immediate problem eventuates, they try it again and again, and eventually a relapse occurs.

He states emphatically that this is a human trait, not unique to alcoholics. But he also says in AA this problem does not occur unless the individual has missed the philosophy or spirit of the program.

Symptomatic of this is for example the idea sometimes expressed "I find I need three meetings a week. I tried to cut down to two but I couldn't" If the individual is still attending meetings to "get" something, they have missed the point above.

Grattitude lists might be a way to reduce self pity. Practicing gratitude (the principle of gratitude taught in the AA program) on a daily basis is indicative of solid long term recovery. It doesn't mean banging away at endless meetings, becoming a prisoner of the fellowship. It means sponsoring one or two people, supporting a home group, reaching out to the newcomer whenever God puts one in front of us. It is something that comes naturally as the result of adopting the AA way of life, it is not forced.

Dee74

I think that someone who puts as much thought into your recovery as you obviously do Delfin is less likely to relapse.

Having said that I do think it's good to think about the advice here - what are you going to replace AA with if you cut back...it's an important point - but I feel sure you're resourceful enough to recognise that and to work that out

My recovery is still important to me and I work on it every day but it's no longer as conscious and deliberate as it was.

It's a part of my life now and not my whole life like it was.

I think that's a healthy balance

D

tursiops999

thanks everybody ... I really appreciate the responses. I will proceed carefully and continue with examining my motives.

Ken33xx

Sounds good.

Please pop in from time to time and let us know how things are working.

Take care.

Ken33xx