sobersovereign

Forgive me if there's another thread on this elsewhere...I didn't see any recently, but feel free to move to redirect if so.

Most years for NYE I'm content to sit at home with the cat and watch a movie and go to bed early...but this year I really do feel like getting out and about. I'm sober going on three years now and hiding from life isn't really working for me anymore. I want to meet new people but it seems so impossible. I live in a medium-sized town with not much going on -- a few parties, but no designated sober events. Most in my (tiny) AA group are doing the early bedtime routine. After breaking up with my SO last year I seem to have forfeited most of our (mutual) friends and really just feel very alone. I had some family in town for Xmas but they're all flying off as well.

I'm an extrovert by nature and really struggle with finding meaningful fellowship in recovery. Any ideas or shared experiences would be most welcome!

least

First off, congrats on 3 yrs sober! I have no suggestions for you as I'll be staying home NYE with my dogs and cats and doing nothing special. I try to stay home to avoid the drunk drivers.

I hope you can find something interesting to do.

biminiblue

I stay home on drinking holidays, for the same reason as least.

Do you have any neighbors you like? How about inviting over a few for a sober movie and food? I watch "Phantom of the Opera" on NYE surrounded by lots of food - but I'm in bed by 9.

LiveInPeace

I've heard of people having sober NYE parties.

What about meetup.com?

Or you could stay home, cook yourself a fabulous dinner or treat yourself to take out from a nice restaurant, and watch your favorite movie or reread a favorite book while listening to your favorite music.

bigsombrero

Sober 3 years? Congrats!

I'd advise staying home this New Year's Eve. Going out to a party just because you're lonely would be a risky move. It's not necessary. As the poster above me said, just curl up with some popcorn and a good book.

Planning a new and fresh social scene is a great idea. Starting that plan on New Year's Eve is not. Wait until January 8 to start your new weekend routine. Good luck!

Gottalife

I have been sober a while and I am completely indifferent to alcohol. It doesn't control my social life. Thinking back to maybe the two year mark NYE was celebrated in a camping ground with friends and others. Most years after that I would be somewhere associated with the outdoors or boating. Sometimes it has been bed at the normal time. In our city, they put on a concert and fireworks display which was great to take the kids to.

The only thing I steer clear of is alcoholic behaviour. I don't like being around drunks, but they are a minority and easily avoided.

I guess the big thing is I had to make the effort to get out there. I have never felt the need to hide away at home in the sense that I was fearful of the outside world.

Soberpotamus

You might check to see if there are any citywide NYE gatherings or celebrations planned for your town. We have a riverwalk and amphitheatre in our downtown area where there are NYE, July 4th, Christmas and various seasonal celebrations held year-round. Since they're for the public, it's generally a non-alcoholic atmosphere.

DG0409

Any larger cities within driving distance? Could you take a mini-vacation and go get a motel room somewhere that was having some sort of event?

Seems like maybe trying for meaningful social interaction for NYE might be a bit difficult, but maybe you're really just recognizing that it's time to try to find a bit more socializing in general?

I really feel for you. My social life is one area that has been super slow to grow in recovery. I live in a small town and there's not much to do here. I go to AA meetings and yoga classes and while I have a few acquaintances and maybe one kind of friend that I talk to only after meetings, I really haven't developed the connections I might have liked to.

And... I fear I may be freshly single making it that much more difficult. It was a long distance thing, so even that wasn't exactly meeting my social needs, but it was nice to at least have somebody I could talk to at the end of the day.

I'm moving out of town soon, I know there is nothing here for me, so maybe more social options will come my way with a geographic change. In the long term, are there just not the opportunities you want where you live? Could you move somewhere more exciting?

Hey, if nothing else, you can spend the night PMing me.

Vandermast

Seems like some good ideas here.

Me I'm newly sober so watching the happenings on TV with a mountain of junk food

Have a safe one

V

Berrybean

Why not have a mini-AA NYE party - invite those people who are doing early to bed? You could round up the old year with some gratitudes. I know that 2015 was an amazing year for me, all thanks to the program and the fellowship. It doesn't take many to make a party. AF cocktail and some snacks and you're away

OR maybe drive out to somewhere where there is a meeting on NYE. Even if it's a bit further than you might travel. Like a NYE adventure.

countrygirl2014

I'm in the middle of no where and there are AA NYE marathons within 30 minutes from me. 24 hours of speakers, food and games. I'm afraid to go out because, ironically, I don't want to get hit by a drunk driver. I did this last year but I make myself available for rides home.

Jennifer

Soberwolf

We'll always be here

Fly N Buy

The feeling and/or actions of hiding from life would be of concern to me. As an alcoholic I was an isolationist, rarely stepping out with other in the last few years except for interludes at a tavern frequently.

I have to be careful of self pity in these situations cause I can build it up to believe the rest of the world is having a ball and I'm not! Of course this simply isn't true.

NYE is a man made event surrounded by alcohol. Why would I want to be in the middle of that!?! I've accepted it doesn't matter and has little significance.

The point is finding ways to integrate in general - a new class perhaps - a gym membership - volunteering at a shelter, etc. There are many ways to overcome that feeling of hiding from life. That's really good topic to bring up New Years Day at a meeting!!!!

Thanks for thread, you're not alone by yourself......together WE stay sober.

mylifeismine

If you do the movie route, I highly recommend
"The Martian"

I read the book, it is a triumphant story, and mostly carries a
message of victory- One Day, One problem at a time.......
but on Mars

MelindaFlowers

Go see Star Wars!