Talkinandwalkin

Just out of curiosity the majority of time I read threads or responses they have a predominantly AA slant or advice. I quit without AA. I was blessed enough just using prayer, my doctor and others experience and advice from the Internet. I honestly am appreciative of all advice I have received from the kindness of others AA or not. Am I that big of an oddball? Or is the AA faction just more vocal? On another note I feel tremendously blessed to be given the gift of sobriety and do not know what to do with my gift as I feel like I should be paying more for it in some way. Anyone relate?

Fluffer

Hi Talkin,

I would guess that things are pretty evenly split between the AAers and the non-AAers around here. Both teams have plenty of wisdom to share so I try to stress our common ground.

Anyways, are you perhaps referring to the "survivor's curse"? That's a sort of guilt that people sometimes feel where others in their same situation have been much more unfortunate. I sometimes feel a sort of guilt that my life is still fairly together while others have met bad fates for engaging in the same behaviors as me. Some people also feel that they deserve to be punished for their past misdeeds. Is this what you are describing? Or do you just mean that you feel you should be giving more back in return for your good fortune of getting sobriety?

JeffreyAK

Lots of us sobered up and stayed sober without AA, in fact most people with a drinking problem don't use AA (or any other program). There are many alternatives for local meetings, depending on what part of the world you live in, and there are lots of alternatives in forums and chat rooms. One thing I like about Sober Recovery is the diversity, and honestly most of the time I just read past the 12-step-leaning material because it's not relevant to me. If it helps someone else, great. I'm a strong believer in, take what you can use and leave the rest, and that applies to all recovery philosophies and programs, not just 12-step.

Talkinandwalkin

I was actually thinking of ways to give more back in the second part of my question.I have often thought I was blessed, by grace I was able to hold some of it together and not loose everything. However I do not feel guilt over it just amazed it worked out like it did. I think you raise some interesting points I have not fully considered.

Ken33xx

Well, if you want to give back perhaps you can elaborate. Prayer? Your doctor and other experiences? Tell us more.

Many people come to this website for help and perhaps what you have to say will resonate with them.

Dee74

Hi talkinandwalkin

I think the non AA routes to recovery are pretty generously represented here, actually

I myself have no firsthand experience of AA.

I try to give back here a little of what was given to me by SR members here back in 07,...some are gone, but a few remain

I've also done volunteering in my community at various times...it's the same kind of 'living amends' deal to me

D

awuh1

I was also blessed by an act of grace. I believe your desire to help others is felt by many. The 12th step of AA adresses this.

You might be interested to know that an act of grace is one of three paths to sobriety that Carl Jung described in his letter to one of the two AA founders. (see below).

Best wishes on your journey.

awuh1

For some reason the image will not post but here is the link.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ng-letter.jpg?

Soberwolf

There is Smart for a secular based recovery programme

greens

If you want to give back can you think of a way to either volunteer or something similiar? There are many organizations and after school programs for at risk teens. Just a thought, in a way you are already giving back by posting here for others to see.

ScottFromWI

Sharing here on SR is a very good way to give back and learn at the same time. Volunteering in your community is another. As many have mentioned, there are lots of different sobriety methods and people here on SR use all different ones and many times combinations of multiple ones.

Hawkeye13

I am not a group person or an AA person either, so
I try to support others in their sobriety journey, or family
dealing with addiction right here on SR.

It helps me as well, so I see it as a gift rather than a task.

fini

hi Talkin,
no, you're not that much of an oddball in this respect.
i got sober by what you might call an act of grace, a moment of clarity, and without prayer, without doctors. with tons of connections with others.
had no trouble staying away from booze, either, but after a while started seeing/feeling i wanted and needed "more".
eventually, i realized that the Aa way fit that very well, and so i went that route.
the reason you see more "AA slant" is that "carry the message" is part of the program.
whereas other ways of getting and staying sober have no such emphasis or discourage it.

PixieD

Thanks Talkinandalkin for your post & congrats with your sobriety success. Made me feel like im not so odd as well. As you, no aa for my own personal reasons. Just many hours of prayer, retraining my brain, lifestyle changes, finding the real me again...etc...has gotten me 7 months sober. SR gratitude threads that remind me daily that life really isnt so bad. I feel im still early in this to help anyone else struggling w/ alcohol..however volunteering as everyone mentioned is a great idea. I give back w/ afterschool reading programs with teens. Even if its just with children you never know how your interaction w/ them could be saving one from picking up a drink in there future. Goodluck to you

NYCDoglvr

I've been sober 24 years thanks to AA but if you can stay sober without it, great! "It's a program for people who want it, not for people who need it." I've known people who stopped drink without AA and people who went to AA for years but haven't been back in a decade, still sober.

Whatever works! Congrats.

FBL

I also have no first-hand experience with AA.

At over 6 and a half years sober, I feel that I can give back by sharing and showing others my support here on SR. Since I got sober, I also find myself just naturally trying to be helpful in my daily "real life" situations.

FormerWineGirl

Like some of the others, I didn't do AA either, but I do pray! I never took AA off of the table, though. I know it has helped many, and if I ever feel like I need it I won't hesitate to go. Even though it took me a while to join. SR, I "lurked" on this site for a long time and it has really, really helped me. Hoping now I can give a little back.

sg1970

The best way to pay it back is to help the still suffering with your experience, strength, and hope. Lord knows there are plenty out there. Sobriety and recovery is truly a gift. Thank you for the reminder.

Fly N Buy

Many of us are hybrids - that's what work for me. A program in the rooms and SR and of course I go see my doctor.

I would suggest that every member here who mentions AA is also on the hybrid program by their actions.

It would be a product of false pride to claim that AA is a cure-all, even for alcoholism.
Bill W

We may or may not both be oddballs, but together WE stay sober, right!?!>

There are many ways to give back, to love each other as He would have us. That doesn't have to be saving the world, maybe just our little patch of dirt.

AAPJ

I go to AA meetings and I read here. But I am not an AA or the highway kind of person like "Mr. Program" who I described in a different thread several weeks ago. For me they both have a place in my recovery.

On giving back it is important to me. I think there are a lot of ways to give back beyond the AA program. For example we participate in the preparation of a meal for the homeless on a monthly basis through our church group. Like the recovery process the giving back process can take many different forms.