fantail

So it comes and goes. I miss the guy very much. There were some things about our connection that I've never had in a relationship before.

I feel like a read a book once that described sadness as a cat on your chest or something like that. A little creeping thing that comes and weighs you down. And I didn't get it because as an alcoholic, I was always wildly happy or wildly miserable. It makes more sense now. The weight comes down and lifts throughout the day. Sometimes I can feel sort of separate from it; sometimes I just kind of hate everything. But sobriety did teach me that time is healing, so that's a good lesson to apply here.

I keep thinking about a break up I had when I was 23. I had this winter afterwards where I was completely, absolutely destroyed emotionally. But now I remember it in this weird sort of crystalline way, like a very pure moment in my life. So I try to think about how someday I'll think back on this that way. There's something special about becoming a single identity again after being a melded one.

DG0409

Fantail, I think you make a great point describing how you look back at the previous breakup. Actually I have much the same feelings about early sobriety. At the time it was so hard and it was made so much worse by the fact that I had pretty much just gotten dumped a couple days before I got sober. But I look back on it as such a precious time.