Fluffer

Sorry, I don't mean to be provocative by the title. My situation just struck me as being a little counter-intuitive. I have been under a lot of stress at work and also at home, which seems worse this year despite the fact that I have been sober over a year. My mother in law is staying with us and we had our most vicious fight ever, which is surprising since this year none of us are drinking in the house. We've had fights in the past often while drinking but usually we get over it and get along well enough most of the time. This time she said things that generally can't be said without forever changing the relationship, which is a little sad, but whatever, I'm not going to rise to the bait. I don't even think I said anything that insulting to cause the fight. I don't know where I'm going with this post, just venting and a little bemused at some of the things I'm experiencing in my new path through life.

Anyways, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!!!!

AAPJ

More stressful when sober? Not for me. But in thinking about it perhaps it could be looking at some of my family members. I think that if you are more stressed with family in a sober situation it may mean that the drinking was covering up other problems that really need to be addressed when sober. But assuming you get through this the end result will be worth the effort. Good Luck.

Mountainmanbob

I've been sober for a few years now and just went through one of those with my mother on Christmas day. She can really cause others some pain at times. Yes, I need to pray for her. My wife overheard the interaction and instantly said to me, "let it go." My wife is the better half.

Yes, in the old days I would have said to hell with this and went and bought a 6 pack of beer or more like an 18 pack.

Today we face these things head on and don't drink.

MB

Timebuster

I say, life on life terms. I can't control someone else's insanity nor do I want to. Usually when arguments go astray is because of pent-up past resentments that never been resolved. When an argument with someone crosses boundaries of no return, it's a sign of anger that's been building up for very long time and yesterday in your case, it reared its ugly head.

Our resentment is a defence mechanism. Our ego believes that by being angry and defensive that we will in fact ward off future pain, but In fact, it creates more pain.

If you're brave enough, I would make amends and move on.

TB

Dee74

It's not like a sober life is a non stressful life - if anyone sold you that idea, you got took

Life sober is life - ups downs and sideways.

I think stress is a normal part of a lot of people's Christmas .

I'm not sure why but my Xmas was especially stressful this year too - but I got through, I didn't go crazy and I didn't drink.

That's a lot better than what I used to do in response to stress

D

Pondlady

I don't know why x-mas is so stressful, but it is, or can be. I figure the whole mess would be worse, if I threw alcohol into the mix.

least

I find sober holidays to be much less stressful than when I was drinking. Just getting sober resolved a lot of my stress, and I'm better prepared to deal with the rest of it when I'm sober.

Fly N Buy

When I argue now there's a different pain causing an emotional hangover. This feeling can be worse than an alcohol hangover for me.

I have to be careful of resentments / anger. If I'm wrong I apologize quickly. If that apology is accepted or not I've done my part and it's gone.

Unfortunately my mouth is between my head and my heart.......

Good for you on posting ....

Soberwolf

What D said

Fluffer

Dee - Sorry to hear you're having an especially stressful holiday season. While we all appreciate your seemingly constant presence, I hope you are taking some "me" time as well. We all need some down-time once in a while!

Fluffer

Yep, a lot of us need to work on the anger and resentments, myself included. But I hope you're not being too hard on yourself, Fly. Nobody's perfect!

Dee74

Just family stuff - all good now Fluffer

D