Did you have liver/heath problems? Do I have a chance to turn it around at 30?
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Join Date: Dec 2015
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I also REALLY did not mean to trigger/annoy anyone who believes in and needs complete sobriety. I just know I was a problem drinker for a time, but I wasn't before and don't feel I have been after. All I know are my feelings about my experience and how I know I don't have the same relationship with alcohol I did in that darker time. If it hadn't been alcohol, it would've been something else I self-medicated with at that time. I realize everyone hasn't had this situation, but not everyone who has abused alcohol in the past is an alcoholic either. There are numerous studies on this. I think most college students and younger people would be alcoholics if that were the case. I'm not trying to make excuses, and I'm not saying this to encourage those who know they can't control it to go back! I just have said my own experiences. I went to therapy and was open about it and talked it all through and figured out that a lot of people can go through periods of heavier drinking due to circumstances and then go back in moderation, but some CANNOT. It's all personal experience. It's ABSOLUTELY better not to drink at all if you have a chance of going back to a place where it controls or hinders your life. Everyone in life has problems, and I think ANYTHING can become an addiction. It's always a struggle for people to learn balance or when it's better to just eliminate something for a better life. I shouldn't have posted in a completely sober forum I suppose, and that's my mistake.
Again, I apologize for posting here if I caused any concern. I should've found a health board I suppose, but just figured you guys might have a better idea about my years of past over indulgence, like I've said. I wish you all the very best! I was just looking for health information. You guys seem to be a great group, though! Thank you!
Again, I apologize for posting here if I caused any concern. I should've found a health board I suppose, but just figured you guys might have a better idea about my years of past over indulgence, like I've said. I wish you all the very best! I was just looking for health information. You guys seem to be a great group, though! Thank you!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
JN, you're what we call "terminally unique." Which, in itself, makes you not unique.
Yes, I'm very familiar with the distinction between "alcohol abuse" and "alcohol dependence"--in my view, you are showing every indication of a person whose alcoholism is progressing.
The first time my then-partner insisted I "do something" about my "drinking problem" I got online and found Moderation Management. Voila! There it was--I didn't have to quit drinking, I just had to learn to MANAGE it.
Per the suggestions there, I went 30 days without a drink. Even accompanied my partner, a professional winemaker, to a tasting event without a drop. Barely broke a sweat, easy-peasy.
So I spent the next four years "moderating" my drinking--counting drinks, having water in between drinks, drinking only on a full stomach--you get the idea. And during those four years I was completely convinced I was "making progress." In reality, though, I never put together more than one or two consecutive days sober in the next four years, and my obsession with drinking hit new levels. The only thing "progressing" during that period of time was my alcoholism.
When I finally did quit, I had become physically dependent to the point where I had to carefully detox. I'm now seven years sober, and I do not for a second take that for granted.
I know you won't hear what I have to say any more than you've heard (and I mean REALLY heard, and taken to heart) from anyone else in this thread. I've known hundreds of alcoholics, probably met thousands, in various stages of drinking/recovery. Based on what I know from personal and observed experience, eventually you will find it difficult/impossible to control your drinking on any kind of regular basis. And it will get worse from there (because it never gets better on its own).
Good luck, and I hope you aren't hurt too badly before you see that drinking is a losing proposition.
Yes, I'm very familiar with the distinction between "alcohol abuse" and "alcohol dependence"--in my view, you are showing every indication of a person whose alcoholism is progressing.
The first time my then-partner insisted I "do something" about my "drinking problem" I got online and found Moderation Management. Voila! There it was--I didn't have to quit drinking, I just had to learn to MANAGE it.
Per the suggestions there, I went 30 days without a drink. Even accompanied my partner, a professional winemaker, to a tasting event without a drop. Barely broke a sweat, easy-peasy.
So I spent the next four years "moderating" my drinking--counting drinks, having water in between drinks, drinking only on a full stomach--you get the idea. And during those four years I was completely convinced I was "making progress." In reality, though, I never put together more than one or two consecutive days sober in the next four years, and my obsession with drinking hit new levels. The only thing "progressing" during that period of time was my alcoholism.
When I finally did quit, I had become physically dependent to the point where I had to carefully detox. I'm now seven years sober, and I do not for a second take that for granted.
I know you won't hear what I have to say any more than you've heard (and I mean REALLY heard, and taken to heart) from anyone else in this thread. I've known hundreds of alcoholics, probably met thousands, in various stages of drinking/recovery. Based on what I know from personal and observed experience, eventually you will find it difficult/impossible to control your drinking on any kind of regular basis. And it will get worse from there (because it never gets better on its own).
Good luck, and I hope you aren't hurt too badly before you see that drinking is a losing proposition.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You can't/didn't trigger or annoy anyone here, read around this site - there is more than enough trigger-y posts if we wanted to be triggered.
I think the problem is that you are talking about "fine lines" and how you understand alcohol abuse (or whatever buzzword you want to use) and that you have figured it all out.
Good luck, truly. Almost every person who went on to become alcoholics started where you are (and have been.) No one saw it coming and said, "Yeah, I'm good, I'll become an alcoholic, but I'm okay with that."
This "fine line" you speak about ? It's also Invisible. One day, I was just bopping along, just drinking and everything was pretty much still intact in my life. Then - my body just became dependent. Just like that. No warning. Sudden-like. I've heard enough stories to know that if drinking was once a problem, it will become one again as long as you keep sticking your foot in that pool. You can't let a lion out of its cage a little at a time.
I hope you survive that. We'll be here.
I think the problem is that you are talking about "fine lines" and how you understand alcohol abuse (or whatever buzzword you want to use) and that you have figured it all out.
Good luck, truly. Almost every person who went on to become alcoholics started where you are (and have been.) No one saw it coming and said, "Yeah, I'm good, I'll become an alcoholic, but I'm okay with that."
This "fine line" you speak about ? It's also Invisible. One day, I was just bopping along, just drinking and everything was pretty much still intact in my life. Then - my body just became dependent. Just like that. No warning. Sudden-like. I've heard enough stories to know that if drinking was once a problem, it will become one again as long as you keep sticking your foot in that pool. You can't let a lion out of its cage a little at a time.
I hope you survive that. We'll be here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
You can't/didn't trigger or annoy anyone here, read around this site - there is more than enough trigger-y posts if we wanted to be triggered.
I think the problem is that you are talking about "fine lines" and how you understand alcohol abuse (or whatever buzzword you want to use) and that you have figured it all out.
Good luck, truly. Almost every person who went on to become alcoholics started where you are (and have been.) No one saw it coming and said, "Yeah, I'm good, I'll become an alcoholic, but I'm okay with that."
This "fine line" you speak about ? It's also Invisible. One day, I was just bopping along, just drinking and everything was pretty much still intact in my life. Then - my body just became dependent. Just like that. No warning. Sudden-like. I've heard enough stories to know that if drinking was once a problem, it will become one again as long as you keep sticking your foot in that pool. You can't let a lion out of its cage a little at a time.
I hope you survive that. We'll be here.
I think the problem is that you are talking about "fine lines" and how you understand alcohol abuse (or whatever buzzword you want to use) and that you have figured it all out.
Good luck, truly. Almost every person who went on to become alcoholics started where you are (and have been.) No one saw it coming and said, "Yeah, I'm good, I'll become an alcoholic, but I'm okay with that."
This "fine line" you speak about ? It's also Invisible. One day, I was just bopping along, just drinking and everything was pretty much still intact in my life. Then - my body just became dependent. Just like that. No warning. Sudden-like. I've heard enough stories to know that if drinking was once a problem, it will become one again as long as you keep sticking your foot in that pool. You can't let a lion out of its cage a little at a time.
I hope you survive that. We'll be here.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by LexieCat
JN, you're what we call "terminally unique." Which, in itself, makes you not unique.
Yes, I'm very familiar with the distinction between "alcohol abuse" and "alcohol dependence"--in my view, you are showing every indication of a person whose alcoholism is progressing.
The first time my then-partner insisted I "do something" about my "drinking problem" I got online and found Moderation Management. Voila! There it was--I didn't have to quit drinking, I just had to learn to MANAGE it.
Per the suggestions there, I went 30 days without a drink. Even accompanied my partner, a professional winemaker, to a tasting event without a drop. Barely broke a sweat, easy-peasy.
So I spent the next four years "moderating" my drinking--counting drinks, having water in between drinks, drinking only on a full stomach--you get the idea. And during those four years I was completely convinced I was "making progress." In reality, though, I never put together more than one or two consecutive days sober in the next four years, and my obsession with drinking hit new levels. The only thing "progressing" during that period of time was my alcoholism.
When I finally did quit, I had become physically dependent to the point where I had to carefully detox. I'm now seven years sober, and I do not for a second take that for granted.
I know you won't hear what I have to say any more than you've heard (and I mean REALLY heard, and taken to heart) from anyone else in this thread. I've known hundreds of alcoholics, probably met thousands, in various stages of drinking/recovery. Based on what I know from personal and observed experience, eventually you will find it difficult/impossible to control your drinking on any kind of regular basis. And it will get worse from there (because it never gets better on its own).
Good luck, and I hope you aren't hurt too badly before you see that drinking is a losing proposition.
Yes, I'm very familiar with the distinction between "alcohol abuse" and "alcohol dependence"--in my view, you are showing every indication of a person whose alcoholism is progressing.
The first time my then-partner insisted I "do something" about my "drinking problem" I got online and found Moderation Management. Voila! There it was--I didn't have to quit drinking, I just had to learn to MANAGE it.
Per the suggestions there, I went 30 days without a drink. Even accompanied my partner, a professional winemaker, to a tasting event without a drop. Barely broke a sweat, easy-peasy.
So I spent the next four years "moderating" my drinking--counting drinks, having water in between drinks, drinking only on a full stomach--you get the idea. And during those four years I was completely convinced I was "making progress." In reality, though, I never put together more than one or two consecutive days sober in the next four years, and my obsession with drinking hit new levels. The only thing "progressing" during that period of time was my alcoholism.
When I finally did quit, I had become physically dependent to the point where I had to carefully detox. I'm now seven years sober, and I do not for a second take that for granted.
I know you won't hear what I have to say any more than you've heard (and I mean REALLY heard, and taken to heart) from anyone else in this thread. I've known hundreds of alcoholics, probably met thousands, in various stages of drinking/recovery. Based on what I know from personal and observed experience, eventually you will find it difficult/impossible to control your drinking on any kind of regular basis. And it will get worse from there (because it never gets better on its own).
Good luck, and I hope you aren't hurt too badly before you see that drinking is a losing proposition.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 24
And again, sorry for causing issues here. I just meant, like I've said tons, that yes everyone situation is different. I'm sure you've all been in a similar one to mine. But does that automatically mean I'm am alcoholic? I've not had those issues since that period of my life. Didm't have them before that period. I just chose that instead of food or drugs or something else to numb me at the time. i've went days and weeks without drinking. It's not at ALL the same relationship, and I've seen professionals who agree and know my entire story. That's all I'm saying. I know people who drink more WAY than I do currently, which isn't much, who others wouldn't even consider dependent. I get having a problem with alcohol in the past makes it that much more important for me to be careful and not get in that situation. I don't feel that desire to drink like that at all. It's just a totally different situation now, a new life that I have. I just wish people would understand everyone is different. I never even said I was going to go wild and drink tons again!! That I MIGHT would drink one night or two in the next two months. AGAIN, all of this is totally irrelevant to my original question, and I do get the concern, but that's all I meant. I think everyone here would probably, and for good personal reasons, be against drinking period ever regardless, so I get that.
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