rahrah

And the Oscar goes to!
.......MY ADDICTION!
What a harrowing performance it put on today! It incited laughter and sadness, happiness and anger, frustration and acceptance, tears of joy and pain...
My addiction sat in a corner of my brain and nattered away at me all day! Pick...pick..pick.
.pick...pick! I felt like Sybil!
I spent the first few hours arguing with her about why I didn't want to drink...then exhausted I just let her prattle on...all the while mumbling 'F Day One'....I'm never goin' back to day one!
Finally she crawled away and left me alone (for now) and I'm relaxing with lit candles and an ice-cold soda water!

Soberwolf

Keep up the good work RahRah

sleepie

Candles and soda water sound nice rahrah. Keep posting.
I am off to get a decaf and a Diet Dr Pepper myself.

Cow

is your addiction Meryl Streep? Mine more like Christopher Walken.

sleepie

Lol mine's like "Animal" of the Muppets...
Ok all stocked up on Diet Dr Pepper and Diet Peach Ice Tea Snapple

How are you rahrah?

rahrah

I'm hangin' in there Sleepie...how r u? Animal is my fav! I honestly see him in my minds eye whenever my addiction starts going wacko! lol
I'm goin' all in...just upgraded the soda water for Ginger Ale and tossed in a bag of chippies!

sleepie

Sounds good
I'm ok thanks for asking

I am quelling the thirst for drinks with food and other beverages... bf is making cheeseburgers tonight so I'm looking forward to eat and otherwise just looking at fluff on the internet and watching "Mean Tweets" clips from the Jimmy Fallon show on youtube... I like to laugh once in awhile and I've burned through all the stand up I can think of!

rahrah

Laughter is always the best medicine for me!
Going to bed sober which means I get to wake up sober!
Day 11 tomorrow....feels like day 1 million and 11!!!!

sleepie

Way to go, rest well rahrah

Talkinandwalkin

That's awesome congrats on one more day! When I first started getting sober And trying to get healthy I tried to drink lots of water. It was so boring though I switched to mineral water. I would drive past the liquor store and buy 12 packs of mineral water when ever I started having anxiety etc. It worked though and I still drink it 8 months later.

Mountainmanbob

If (we) went back out and tried some controlled drinking
(we) may not be fortunate enough to ever see a day one again.

As we have seen -- some never come back and die with drink in hand.

M-Bob

rahrah

Grateful to be sober this morning but man!...yesterday was BRUTAL...I hung on by my fingernails! I chastised myself all night for wanting to get on SR today with it being Christmas Eve...I don't wanna be whining to all when I should be grateful today....BUT! I tell ya, I'm amazed I'm still sober after yesterday and scared to death of relapsing....I just won't make it through another day one...so it's imperative that I get through today! (I can't get out of bed cause I'm an emotional wreak...in tears...and it's Christmas Eve today and so much is expected of me today! I gotta get it together!!!!)

sleepie

Morning rahrah
Nothing wrong with logging into SR. I used to on my phone sometimes when I was out, to avoid the bar.
I think a lot of folks will be here because it's the holiday and can be really stressful.

BTW... I'm jealous of your ability to sleep- I'm still up from yesterday!

zjw

you gotta do what you /can/ do and you have to be happy with that and yourself etc...

so many days too many to count I ended my day saying welp I tried and i stayed sober i didnt give it much today I didnt have much to give but I did give it my best and while that probably was not good enough by many peoples standards it was the best i had to give today and i'll just have to be ok with that.

Its ok to not be ok. Its ok to have a tough time. Its ok for it to totally suck at times etc.. Gotta be gentle with ourselves. do what we can do but keep trying to move forward even if its slower then a snails pace at times no big deal.

So many days I never accomplished one thing other then remaining sober. and for that i was always grateful.

rahrah

Thank you for the support....it's so super needed and appreciated....and yes Sleepie...I am using my phone too...right now I feel like I need a direct connection to SR...to feel like it is with me at all time, in my hand...to hold my hand so-to-speak...silly but I am a complete basket case right now....
Whaaaaa's Happening to me???? It feels like fireworks are going off inside me chest...I can physically feel my emotions going up and down (it's only day 11). I'm hoping it's my Central Nervous System trying to realign itself, rather than sobriety uncovering the fact that I'm simply a complete lunatic! (fingers crossed I'm not! lol)
Anyways, with all my heart I appreciate all y'all who have taken the time out of this special day to support me (and each other)....if I make it through these next few days I'll be amazed! I'm gonna hold my breath and white knuckle through this pain....and I'll be sure to stay connected today.....that is my plan for today...stay connected to stay sober.

zjw

off topic but rahrah i only know one other person who likes the clash enough that they'd make it an avatar I always thought they where a rare breed for that I guess not lol. its a good band and good album there!

sleepie

Rahrah it's just gonna be a lot of weird ups and downs for us long term drinkers. There are plenty here like us. As zjw said some days all you can do is not drink and that's what you accomplish for the day. I think you are doing great

There were times I was out at a cafe just reading and posting on SR with the bar across the street waiting. I avoided drinking that way. My city rains craft beers, it sucks! SR is here for you


p.s.Never got into the Clash much but I love The Damned and 70's NYC p-rock like The Stooges. What can I say I think punk was Made in America.

'Merica! lol

Bostonsportsfan

No one ever said this process is easy, but it is very possible. Keep fighting the good fight and Merry Christmas.

gaffo

Raining craft beers�� in my town too.

sleepie

In WA gaffo... I bet it is!
Sucks huh?


Rahrah how are you tonight?

Hope you are well!