Holiday Blues
 

Greetings SR friends,
I don't post here much (mostly a lurker) but felt the need to vent a little, if only digitally.

I'm 2+ years sober, and generally comfortable in sobriety, but this time of year is hard on many of us. I'm having a rare occasion where I am feeling blue and missing the "good times" prior to getting sober.

I don't miss the abuse, getting drunk, blacking out and waking up on the couch in the early morning hours. I don't miss the anxiety and bottle-hiding I was doing towards the end.

But tonight, I do miss sharing a bottle of good wine and a movie with my wife on a cold December Friday night just before Christmas.

But, it is what it is. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. I'll still share a movie with my wife on this cold December Friday, but I'll enjoy a premium ginger ale instead. Still, it's not quite the same.

Guess I'm having a "whine" instead of a wine.

You miss the sharing? or the drinking?

It's the drinking, of course. Because you have the wife, the movie, the night before Christmas. But you've romanticized that bottle of wine and elevated it to a status it doesn't deserve. I doubt that sharing a bottle of wine with the mrs is what brought you here, made you choose sobriety. So don't let your addiction make you long for something that probably brought you more misery than warm and fuzzy memories.

Yeah, it's not quite the same in that you'll probably remember the night, not be hungover tomorrow, wont' fall asleep during the movie and you might even enjoy some romance that you would have missed out on because you were buzzed or drunk.

So in that sense it wont be the same, it will be better ;-)

It's possible that if you were still drinking you wouldn't have your wife.

Or your job that helps pay for the movie and the house you watch it in.

There is nothing romantic about getting drunk, blacking out and waking up on the couch in the early morning hours.

yeah the fire the wife and the sharing part are still there - enjoy your holiday season lonray :)

D

Keep up the good work Lonray

Get some non-alcoholic wassail. Just something to share.

As I type this, I am enjoying a cream soda, a chocolate soda and a root beer, all diet, of course.

Sure beats being at the tavern until 3:00 a.m.

Congrats on your 2 years, amigo.

Stick around and enjoy that movie (and your wife as company).

Well, now I want a root beer float or a non-alcoholic eggnog, neither of which is in the house. But there is hot chocolate :)

Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today.
 

Hi lonray, congrats on 2 years! Many of us never get that far - well done!

The referenced phrase from one of the iconic story's in the Big Book, has helped a lot of people. For me though I need more - I can't always be accepting especially if I feel cheated or resentful. There has to be more understanding of why I must accept.

As I thought about your thread, I reflected on the four hideous horseman - terror, bewilderment, frustration and despair - along with their close cousin - incomprehensible demoralization. These are the day after friends that showed up daily at the end of my drinking. I don't miss any of them - worst crowd I've ever hung with.

I am glad you posted this thread because many of us at times feel/felt cheated. The thoughts those times when "the goose hung high" come back. We have to be careful or our "venting" turns to anger - the dubious luxury of normal men.

It's good topic for an open meeting this time of year - if you want it out, shout it out! Maybe suggest it at a meeting and talk to your sponsor about it.

As we can all agree, we don't have to act on thoughts as we have the tools to deal with them - Thank goodness :c011:

You're not alone, glad you posted this
Thanks friend

Thanks everyone for the replies. Some tough love, but spot-on. Romanticizing that bottle of wine is exactly what I was doing. Or I should say "it" was doing, by "it" I mean my AV. He's a sneaky bastard but is back in his cage where he belongs.

Thanks again and Happy Holidays!

Glad to hear it Ionray. It's a tough time of the year, don't forget that SR is always here if you need extra support.

Thanks for posting, lonray! It was helpful for me and many I'm sure.

Have an amazing evening with your wife, and congrats on 2 years of sobriety!!

Ionray, you definitely posted what in on the mind of many recovering alcoholics this time of year. Who doesn't miss the good old days and sharing a bottle of wine on the holidays. I do.

I wish I could be satisfied sharing a bottle of wine and being OK with that. But the problem is that only one glass of wine for me always resulted in a full blown relapse and I cannot go there again. Yes I miss those days, but it has to be over with for me. I am comfortable and confident that I will stay sober over the holidays.

Nothing like starting new traditions this year is there?