sourbaby1986

To stop thinking about whether or not I should get clean and sober

To get my memory back and stop feeling foolish for forgetting what I talked about

To figure out how I actually feel about my life and life situation

To maybe experience this thing called joy

To stop living in constant fear of judgment

To maybe stop living in constant anxiety

To be comfortable in my skin

To feel love, to know it's love, to enjoy that feeling

To stop poisoning everyone around me with my negativity

To sleep like a normal human being

To stop having to hide my purse cause I don't want people to see what's in there

To be able to have a sense of personal...I dunno what it is. To have some self esteem and be comfortable with who I am

To have some self- love

To stop feeling so guilty

To have some balance in my life

To stop feeling like I can only function at my best when I'm modulated

To learn how to socialize and maybe enjoy it

To learn what it's like to enjoy things, and have fun

To be able to be alone and be ok with it

To stop being so angry and snippy

To stop trying to be someone else

To figure out who I am and to love that person

To stop being so incredibly dependent on everyone else for validation

I know that sobriety won't get me this, but I'm hoping maybe 12 steps can. I can get sober but with all this ^^ going on, I can't stay that way.

Dee74

Sounds like an admirable list sourbaby

No drinking didn't get me all those things either, but it made it possible for me to find out what I needed to do to gain them

D

ScottFromWI

Yes, a great list sourbaby. Writing it out can be very helpful too...you can always come back to this as a reminder. Hope we can help you along the way.

fantail

Sourbaby, I could have written this list. Really. Every single detail of it. Reading this took me right back to all of those feelings and how crushed I was by them.

I'm approaching 6 months now and I can say -- just getting sober may not do everything, but it's the domino that tips the chain. I've gotten so many of the things on your list already. Even some of the really big things that feel impossible. And the ones I haven't had, I'm actively moving towards.

You can do this. It's really hard at first, because your brain will be dealing with all kinds of crazy chemical imbalances as it adjusts to not being on a depressant constantly. It will try to convince you that sober life is crazy, sleep-deprived, full of anxiety -- that it's the opposite of what you want. So you have to outsmart your own brain for a while. It's like trying to out-think your own survival instinct, it is HARD. But it keeps getting easier with every week and then month that goes by.

I'm still a baby when it comes to sobriety, but even just the 5.5 months between now and this list feel like a lifetime... which means that by spring you'll already be so far along. Imagine having a truly happy summer!

sourbaby1986

Thanks! You know, I just have to I guess go wth it and see what happens. Life is always seemingly really stressful but in the next month I: fly back home for Christmas, have to renew a work visa (airport stress), deal with my alcoholic brothers, move in with my boyfriend, and I have a huge corporate meeting in where I have to give a talk in front of a big group. I honestly don't think I can do it sober. I need to get a sponsor and start immersing myself in the program now if I have any hope of getting through that.

FLCamper

That's a great list. I particularly like the first one.
You'll be amazed at how much anxiety drops off without alcohol.

gaffo

That is a great list. I was going to say that you can achieve all those things with sobriety but I think I like the way that Dee put it better. Also I agree with what Fantail said, if you start now it will really improve your summer though there really isn't a bad time to quit, especially with a list like yours.

Talkinandwalkin

I have been sober going on 8 months. Reading your list are most of the things I have achieved since being sober. I am definitely not the sharpest knife in the drawer and if I can do it you can to. I am rooting for you! When you start checking off the things on your list you are going to be so happy with the new you! I always had regrets that the people around me never got to see the me I could really be due to all the drinking. Now I am not living with any of those regrets. God Bless!

awuh1

Great list.

Was fulfillment the word you were searching for here?

sourbaby1986

yeah!!!

Soberwolf

Excellent list SB

tomsteve

i read a lot of progress already- yer outta denial!

all that will materialize as ya work for it.

Gottalife

Sourbaby, in my experience, living the steps will give you all that and much more

fantail

Yeah, there's never a great time to quit (in terms of avoiding stressful events, and sounds like you've got a ton coming up). But I think you're right to get a sponsor and try to jump into it now. Especially because you're moving in with your boyfriend... a big change in your environment can be such a big help if you use it as a way to have a fresh start without lingering associations to alcohol.

sc0ot3r1982

Awesome list!! Like others I can relate to A LOT that is there. Thank you so much for your input and yes just being sober will not get you those things but it can put us in the right direction! Thanks

scottie

Soberpotamus

Superb list, Sourbaby.

Bostonsportsfan

Great list, great post.

Hold yourself to everyone of the things on that list.

Berrybean

Great list SB.

otter

Love the list.

Take it from an ex-drunk; life is so much better sober, You'll find out all those fires you've been trying to put out you've just been throwing gas (or alcohol I guess) on the whole time.

Do it!

SoberCAH

Your list is on the money.

It emboddies the spirit and contents of the Promises of the AA program.

And, yes, they came true in my life when I made working the steps and practicing their principles a part of my daily life.

You are in the right place, amigo.