tomsteve

being in situations similar, i have no advise other than to call the number and talk. being in similar situations, i hope youve decided alcohol is the common denominator in your problems and decide to do something about it.

and dont take a few days off then,"phew! got away with it that time! ill drink and act differently next time so that doesnt happen."
because alcohol doesnt give a crap how an alcoholic thinks they will behave drunk. alcohol will chose the behavior.

Bostonsportsfan

Sorry to hear this Max. You can avoid doing stuff like this in the future if you don't drink. I'd try to move on and forget about it. Good luck.

otter

Yep.

Unless you REALLY made someone angry it's over at this point. Turn the page on this chapter and move on to the next.

Gottalife

I might change the title of your post to bad blackout - DEFINITELY in danger.

My mouth got me in trouble more tha a few times and I felt threatened more than once.

But you know, I couldn't guarantee my behaviour when I drank. It wasn't just me that was at risk, it was everyone around me. I could have killed someone driving, I came within a hairs breadth of killing someone with a fire arm, I know one chap who accidentally killed his own son. A couple of others managed to burn their houses down. A drinking alcoholic isn't just a danger to himself.

MaxxPower

I'm emotionally exhausted. I slept till late afternoon today. Didn't care to get up.was up for most of the night.I'm sitting beside boxes watching tv . She's moving out on Sunday. This is not how my life should be. Wasn't raised this way. Depressed doesn't even cover it.

Dee74

Deciding once and for all to quit drinking will help you to rebuild your life Maxx. I really hope you decide to take that path

D

MaxxPower

I know dee

I've made it too 10 months sober, than 6 after that. Everything is good when I don't drink. I even got my career going along with the money. I have a problem with having resentments towards people's thinking. I can barely watch tv. Commercials destroy me.

MaxxPower

Live and let live buts it's so hard.

MaxxPower

I'm ignorant and stubborn. I just want to be free from it.

Dee74

This is a great place to start regarding recovery plans Maxx

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

ScottFromWI

You can be free from it Maxx. You just need to commit to it and make a plan. What were you doing during those 10 and 6 month stretches?

MaxxPower

Dee you just scared me with that link.

I relate to it allot.

I'm in over my head.

MaxxPower

What was I doing?

Eating well. Going to meetings and exercising.

Didn't work.

Dee74

It's not meant as a scary link Max - a plan is a road map out of where you are

D

Ken33xx

I thought about stopping for years and I realized my drinking was causing problems. But until I was sick and tired of being sick and tired l wasn't going to stop

I called the aa hotline once in 1988 and again in 1991but it wasn't until March of 1993 that I actually attended a meeting.

I can identify with max in that he wants to do something about his drinking but on the other hand can't fathom quitting for good.

Berrybean

It must be tough at the moment, while you're surrounded by boxes and almost watching her go. Could you go stay with a friend or family while she gets sorted?

I found that going to meetings and eating well didn't work for me either. Then I realised that was only half the work, so I was only going to see half the results.

Thankfully, when I finally decided that I was 'enough' of an alcoholic, and I was desperate to ask someone to sponsor me, things started to change. I needed: meetings (with a service position), AND step work (working through stuff on my own and with my sponsor); daily prayer and meditation; and applying the steps work to my daily life and relationships.

Hope you feel better soon.

tomsteve

theres a good thing about ignorance: its only a lack of knowledge.
however, youre not completely ignorant. you know what doesnt work. if you want the same results in 6,10 months then do what ya did before.
if you want to stay sober for good with different,much better results, put in the footwork on changing you.
personally i think you should add getting a sponsor and working the program to that footwork on changing you. seems like ive seen it turn alot of lives around.

Hawkeye13

I found TV so disturbing I gave it up for a decade.
Maybe try that and put the focus instead on you and your recovery.
TV is just another distraction and keeps you negative.

Maxx, I really think you should listen to Dee and make a really strong plan this time.
Don't you have health issues which make it dangerous for you to drink even more than average?
Please take care of yourself and go all-in for recovery

Soberwolf

Hi Maxx when I decided to get help I done what you done at first but it didn't work as I kept going back to drink in the 3 months it took for me to gain & maintain my sobriety

I had to face up to what I had become I had to seriously look at my life & where it was going

Maxx can I ask are you scared to be sober ?

Bostonsportsfan

There's nothing you can do about the past now. You can only move forward sober. My life has been completely changed and saved from getting sober. You haven't given the process enough time my man. You need to move forward today and promise yourself you aren't going to drink anymore. I know you can do I Max, but you gotta want it.