120degrees0ut

I started drinking at 15, and when i turned legal age for drinking, 21..I'm pretty sure i was already an alcoholic. Ive read alotta books on alcoholism. it took many, many yrs of hard drinking...and all the progressions of alcoholism i read about did happen to me. pretty much most all of them. Cuz i am 47 yrs old now. I know i have liver damage, cuz a Dr. told me from tests. i also know i have some nerve damage that i can clearly notice. But other people dont see it. i wonder about brain damage. and how can i ever really know all the damage ive caused my body? i read that while a person is consuming alcohol, it is affecting every organ in the human body. i looked up alcohol & the brain, and it was just pgs & pgs of what it does. mostly medical terms and things i dont understand tho. also, knowing all the damage alcohol does, i wonder why i secretly still love the crap. its like that love/hate thing. Point Blank:: Alcohol Destroys...Why would i want more of that? Its truly beyond me.

Loekken

Yeah, that's addiction and damage done. You want to quit if you want to live longer. Don't you have something in your life which could be a motivation to change things? I have a 3 yr son and I see his face before me whenever I consider picking up the bottle.

My father was just 51 when alcohol too him... I'm 33 and headed the same direction unless 'I learn'...

120degrees0ut

2012Starlight...i just mentioned U in another thread! Cuz i agreed with u how many tries did it take u to quit? Lol. I have to try hard Everyday to stay sober!

red3215

I find it almost impossible to get consistent answers about alcohol or alcoholism online. I think it's partly because people start mixing their opinions or fears with the cold facts. Alcohol addiction is, afterall, a hotly debated, emotion provoking subject.

Gottalife

I was 22 when I recovered. While there were things in my life earlier that could have been a motivation to quit like job, family, friends, etc, and I really really wanted to do the right thing by these people, it was insufficient. My health was failing rapidly, malnutrition, hallucinations, yet I still could not stop.

At the end everything was gone except the misery. No job, no money, no friends, no family, no home, no health, completely hopeless. That is when I gave in and asked for help. I just wanted the misery to stop. Just for me, not for anyone else.

I have seen it many times since. That position of hopelessness seems to be a great position from which to launch a recovery. Staring death/insanity in the face, knowing I had run out of options and time, that was my motivator to take some action.

Dave42001

That's powerful, Mike! I needed that! I remember those days all to well! Never again! Thank you!

Dee74

Addiction's not logical. It's like any other parasite that feeds on its host until it kills the host.

It's never too late to stop the process - and from my experience, a lot of the damage we do ourselves can be stopped, or even maybe reversed, with some sober time.

Seeing a Dr explaining your fears and getting a full health check maybe scary but it's a good way for you to find out what you're dealing with.

If my experience helps, things were not A1 but things were not as bad as I feared, and that's a pretty common outcome

D

120degrees0ut

Yeah Gottalife..it sure does cause misery and a ton more horrible. Thats pretty much how i think now, whats to like about it? I also cant stand constantly needing more, and constantly running out. it never ends. redladyslipper, U are right, i have the same problem looking up things online..so many different opinions or answers, i usually give up looking! lol..

jay01

The fact is addiction to poison inevitably leads to harm.

I believe worrying about "damage already done" is second too more damage alcohol will certainly bring if you do not quit. While nobody knows their fate, understanding cause and affect can help limit future days of low quality life.

You have the power to change and you must make it happen. Everyone here will help support and encourage you, keep posting bud.

Loekken

I mentioned it in a thread I created, that for some reason it was like I had to lose all before I finally began to wake up. It might be selfishness, although I feel like I'm a pretty empathetic guy in general. I have come to consider both my parents egoistic and sometimes use as an 'excuse' for my own behavior.

Doesn't make it suck less... Living with myself sober is real difficult at times.

Loekken

Interesting, a parasite feeding on its host, a good analogy.

I find things quickly get better when I'm sober, the damage is done, but it gets better. I am one of the lucky ones with my health still intact.

I would really like to see a psychologist when I'm ready.

gaffo

By all means, see a Doctor and get a check up but in my opinion, what is done is done and it's time to move forward. No matter what your current state of health is, it will only get worse if you keep drinking.

Fly N Buy

Currently reading the well known alcoholism book Under The Influence written by Milam and Ketcham, which provides analysis of alcoholism as a physiological problem.

I have found over many years that regardless of what I read I couldn't think or reason my way out of the addiction I had to alcohol. I needed to take action, which through any number of recovery programs we can engage sobriety and ultimately recovery.

Your question -
"Alcohol Destroys...Why would i want more of that? Its truly beyond me."

Because it's what alcoholics do, drink = insidious insanity. There is hope for those willing to change and take action.

Thanks for the thread

120degrees0ut

Fly N Buy...I have that excellent book Under the Influence. i bought it when it came out in the 90s. i think even more is known today about effects of alcohol on human body. Thanx for your comment

BlueFairy

I did some research on this when I first quit--it's out there if you really want to dig. There's something about how most of your brain recovers except a small part that involves some kind of thinking--spatial something like that. I don't know about the liver but I did hear a man talk at an aa meeting about going through liver failure and 20 years later of sobriety is doing fine...hope that helps some :-)

MelindaFlowers

Bodies heal WITH ABSTINENCE. sorry for the caps but I only shouted it because I used to try to heal my body while still drinking.

I was diagnosed with alcohol hep. At 31 years old. Enzymes double and triple the normal range. I have been sober for 17 months and just got blood results today.

My liver is completely back to normal. Enzymes in normal range.

Had I continued drinking the way I drank for those 17 months I am fairly certain I would be dead by now.