Obstacles to Sobriety
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Tokyo
Posts: 10
i am my own worst enemy
Originally Posted by Music
ME!!! :sweat
identifying my triggers is a good way to start, but changing my thinking is the real challenge. one day at a time...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Hi, add22, and welcome to SR.
I like Music's pithy summary of the obstacle to his sobriety (you can count on him to get down to basics). But the problem I have with saying that YOU (or I, or we) are the problem is that it can be a step towards blaming your character or personality. There's nothing wrong with you; you aren't a bad person, or weak, or a failure morally.
The problem is our behavior. And, as you say, our thinking is at the root of it. In my opinion, our behavior results from our beliefs. We can change our beliefs.
People who successfully quit drinking, regardless of the program or process they use (if any), generally share certain characteristics.
The simplest is a firm commitment to abstinence. That means they've come to a belief that alcohol has no role in their life, that it doesn't help anything, that it isn't how they cope with stress, and that they are no more likely to drink alcohol than shoot heroin, or than a vegetarian is to eat meat.
The second characteristic is that they make lifestyle changes. They don't go to places where alcohol is going to be served, they decline it if it is offered, they make boundaries in relationships if necessary. It can be as simple as changing their evening routine so they fill the drinking times with some pleasurable activity.
Another characteristic is that they actively plan for urges and triggers, and practice what they're going to do about them. That's where identifying the obstacles can be very handy.
If you ask a long-term heavy drinker why they drink, they often can't even give you an answer. After all, the behavior has become so compulsive it seems to have a life of its own. But it isn't uncommon for them to redirect the conversation and start talking about stress at work, anger, marital issues, and more. In other words, they drink to try and cope with those things. Or they describe social situations where they 'couldn't say no'. In other words, they drink due to social anxiety.
So getting at those reasons can help with planning for avoiding them. Identifying what it is you think alcohol does for you in those situations, and then actively disputing that, is a conscious step towards sobriety.
Thanks for posting, and talk to you soon,
Don S
I like Music's pithy summary of the obstacle to his sobriety (you can count on him to get down to basics). But the problem I have with saying that YOU (or I, or we) are the problem is that it can be a step towards blaming your character or personality. There's nothing wrong with you; you aren't a bad person, or weak, or a failure morally.
The problem is our behavior. And, as you say, our thinking is at the root of it. In my opinion, our behavior results from our beliefs. We can change our beliefs.
People who successfully quit drinking, regardless of the program or process they use (if any), generally share certain characteristics.
The simplest is a firm commitment to abstinence. That means they've come to a belief that alcohol has no role in their life, that it doesn't help anything, that it isn't how they cope with stress, and that they are no more likely to drink alcohol than shoot heroin, or than a vegetarian is to eat meat.
The second characteristic is that they make lifestyle changes. They don't go to places where alcohol is going to be served, they decline it if it is offered, they make boundaries in relationships if necessary. It can be as simple as changing their evening routine so they fill the drinking times with some pleasurable activity.
Another characteristic is that they actively plan for urges and triggers, and practice what they're going to do about them. That's where identifying the obstacles can be very handy.
If you ask a long-term heavy drinker why they drink, they often can't even give you an answer. After all, the behavior has become so compulsive it seems to have a life of its own. But it isn't uncommon for them to redirect the conversation and start talking about stress at work, anger, marital issues, and more. In other words, they drink to try and cope with those things. Or they describe social situations where they 'couldn't say no'. In other words, they drink due to social anxiety.
So getting at those reasons can help with planning for avoiding them. Identifying what it is you think alcohol does for you in those situations, and then actively disputing that, is a conscious step towards sobriety.
Thanks for posting, and talk to you soon,
Don S
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: midwest
Posts: 148
Dangerous Dan
I am with you on the keeping one step ahead of the terrible withdrawls. How smart of you to recognize how foolish that is. But I am still working on that one. I have convinced myself that I am tapering off. May just be fooling myself. Thanks for the insight
Marilyn
I am with you on the keeping one step ahead of the terrible withdrawls. How smart of you to recognize how foolish that is. But I am still working on that one. I have convinced myself that I am tapering off. May just be fooling myself. Thanks for the insight
Marilyn
Well.... 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Santa Monica
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by Don S
What is the greatest trigger to your drinking, and obstacle to your sobriety?
Fortunately to me, my body just could not sustain such a lunacy anymore and was unable to process all those drinks so I become alergic to a drink. It took me years to quit, though...
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