I made it to day 14 despite myself.
 

Yes indeed I did. Even though I had a really tough day yesterday I did not drink. I was so agitated that I know my blood pressure and pulse were way up there. I'm still a little agitated today and I can feel the stress in my body. I have a few walkable errands today.....hopefully that will help w the stress.

As I reflect on yesterday it's like my mind was committing suicide........it simply did not want to be part of reality. It's a know fact that I don't deal well w stress which is the main reason behind why I drink.......I'm attempting to soothe myself. I need healthier coping tools to replace the old ones that don't work.

Anyway I'm glad I didn't drink.....if I had my kitchen would be a mess, my breath would smell like beer, my stomach at minimum would feel sour......I probably would have sweated the night away and woke up feeling like I didn't sleep at all. Instead, I'm alert and hungry.

I got a call from one of my pesky clients at 6:16 am.......normally I would have been pissed......instead I said calmly ........do you know it's 6 o'clock in the morning? She apologized and was brief....I doubt she'll do that again.

Some people are plain ignorant.......how's that for a little negativity Sleepie........anyway.......I'm dropping this client......she's more trouble than she's worth......of course she doesn't know that yet. But it's coming.

Debbie did you have a panic attack yesterday you can tell your shaken up a bit what are you up to today :hug:

Way to go on 2 weeks sober Deb

No I didn't have a panic attack......I had a temper tantrum because of all the violence that is occurring around me and it's just getting worse so I feel unsafe. I'm going to get something notarized for my old car....So I can collect on my insurance policy and buy a new one. Im sending out insurance documents to my clients.....both of these tasks require that I walK...so maybe I'll get in 2 miles and then I'm going to the bank and shopping.

I was also in some questionable neighborhoods on Saturday working w my clients on foot and I felt unsafe....so that was the fallout. So I can choose to keep those clients or drop them. I feel like our area is being terrorized by criminals and we as citizens are helpless about it.

Debbie you've done really well getting to 14 days. Stay calm and set your next awesome goal.

Sorry to hear about the neighborhood, but great job yesterday, keep kicking that AV's butt.
Should be a nice autumn day for ambulating hope you can enjoy and be present in the one foot in front of the other zeitgist and at the store if I could recommend Hagen Daz :), keep truckin you got this!

Dropping a client, that's for the best sometimes, I quit my work because I was tired of people pushing me for a little more and a little more and then paying me at their convenience or when they remembered to. I mean ok for maybe one person but others not so much. I was freelancing so not like I lost benefits or anything and it was a low pay thing anyway.
trying to figure out what I can do for money because I am worn thin as far as people go, worked too many jobs dealing with them and really just at the end of my rope.

I'd say don't do anything that risks your sobriety, I worked for an absolute maniac, like all the staff was just cowering around this guy, last winter. One poor guy was developing a drinking problem because this awful individual. I was off the wagon after 5 weeks of being around this living nightmare... I made a big stink though, cause I'm a big mouth and I don't like seeing people treated poorly and the staff was good people who deserved better.
I hear he behaves now and is good to the employees, I really hope so because they deserve better.

I agree sleepie.......I don't need their bs.......they are lucky to even have me.......I help them navigate the healthcare system to the best of my ability. I've heard many times that I'm a saint for what I do ....... I've saved people thousands of dollars and even saved their lives. I'm saving my own now.....so if I have to cut off some people oh well. I too have had it w people, especially those that don't follow the rules cause then they create problems for themselves which in turn creates noise for me. I'm an insurance broker not a maintenance man.

Congrats on 2 weeks :)

D

2 wks. is fabulous, Debbie. I'm so glad you made it through that challenging day. We gain strength every time that happens. :)

Yeah I'm glad I made it thru yesterday too.......I absolutely refused to drink.....if I can make it thru a day like that.....I can make it thru anything. Thanks for all the support!

Congratulations on 14 sober days, Debbie.

Day 14 is fantastic!! :scoregood

go Debbie Go WOOT WOOT you can do this one day at a time..

I'm at day 16 today......and am glad I'm sober today because of lots of reasons....too many to mention .......but I do feel healthy ......but not calm.....I tend to get all worked up about accomplishing things......I have no idea how I was so productive when I drank but I was a real machine. I used to sit at my desk for the last week of the month cause I had nothing to do....bored out of my mind.

time to stop inhale the fresh air of a new life.. and start to realize you can do so much.. a good military plan is a solid path.. plan your day a bit.. and leave room to smell the roses.. watch a bird... have a tea.. coffee or caffin products could be making you so jumpy.. 5 weeks ago I had to give it up.. made me sick a bit and I realized I was jumpy so much.. hugs and keep up the good work ... ardy wisconsin