sleepie

Well I'll have 4 months as of Nov. 12th. So a third of a year.
Lately for about 2 weeks I have been very close to having a few.
I have discussed it with my boyfriend and we end up not doing it but today was close again.
Anyway.
This sucks.
I only stay sober yet because I asked the moon for something when there was an eclipse. But I have a feeling that after enough stress I will have a slip. And I really do feel that I can have a few and not go back to the way it was.

This is the longest sober stretch I have had in years and years.
I don't like when people get all mad at my posts or tell me I'm not positive enough.
But then I stay away and I want to drink.
Yeah I vented a lot and I asked for a lot of help, and I didn't drink and it got me this far.

SoberLeigh

The closest I came to caving, sleepy, was at 4.5 months; there is something about the 3 to 6 month mark that seems to be problematic for a lot of people.

I am glad that you are posting about it.

Stay strong.

Tooshabby

I agree with SL, Sleepie, don't cave in. I did and regret it. Still gaining my strength back and am annoyed with myself for wasting my own time.

sleepie

I have read a lot about the 3 month thing.
So 3 - 6 will be hard.
Good to know.
I am getting worse and worse anxiety and lately there are days I cannot get out of bed because of it.

sleepie

My bf and I, we're bad. I say "It can be our little secret".
He says, "Are you gonna tell the people at the forum? When we go out and people ask if you are on the wagon, we say "Yes?" "

Yep!!!

Not today though.

Venecia

The three- to six-month phase was a little hinky for me at times.

It was nowhere near as hard as being an alcoholic, though.

Power through it, Sleepie.

Kallistia

Don't give yourself permission to do something that you already know will be disastrous.

sleepie

That's the thing I don't feel it will be a disaster I fee it will be a brief but wonderful relief where there has been none for months.

So today we decided on ice cream instead. Still not good. I don't know that I can even fathom a proper diet having given up drinking.

I even have a pack of cigarettes and smoked one just for something. I don't smoke, maybe once every 2 years.

Kallistia

Man...I can't tell you what to do and not do being that you're a grown woman.

I can say I hope you don't and I don't think it's a good idea even if it seems so right now

sleepie

Well obviously. I think we are mostly adults here.

Not tonight, but I know the feeling will be back.

Gottalife

3 months was a magic time for me. My sponsor had to tell me I was at three months. I never thought I would get that far so I never took a note of the date.

A lot of things had changed. A lot of reconciliation and healing had happened, I had a job, but most of all I had had a spritual awakening and the drink problem had gone. I really felt I was on the right track.

Like a lot of this journey, I only realised the drink problem ahd gone in hind sight. I had just stopped thinking about drinking or not drinking. It was no longer part of my conscious thought processes, and that obsession has never returned.

None of this was my doing. My contribution was the willingness to take particular path to recovery, and that willingness was born out of desperation.

least

You can get thru this sober. I have faith in you.

davaidavai

Hello from mexico where there is booze everywhere. I'm in a youth hostel until my room vacates. Some great drunks in the old town area, like gas huffing drunks where their faces are distorted. Yesterday a short drunk man in a poncho followed me for half a block laughing at me. I enjoyed it.

I've been eating a lot, feel like a kid in a candy store when it comes to the food.

Tooshabby

Heh heh....great post, davai :-D

sleepie

Hm.
Well as far as drunk Latinos I have a family full of them

Tooshabby

Mine is/was a family of drunk Catholics of Irish and English extraction :-)

sleepie

Well we coulda had some laughs Shabby!

Tooshabby

Many of my early childhood memories are like something out of a horror movie. Pretty funny in retrospect. Not too funny at the time!

Soberwolf

Congrats for Nov 12th

Dropsie

Sleepie,

I have been there, done that.

I know how much you want to believe that it will be OK, and that if its not, you will just stop again no problems.

Sadly, that was not my experience.

I don't want to take over D's line but I cannot stress enough that abstinence is NOT control and if you drink again there is a huge risk that it will be HARDER the next time. in my case, much harder.

I first quit on a lark to support my daughter's boyfriend and was surprised how easy it was.

Nine months later thought I had this and started again, and that was when I realised that I might have a problem but not convinced.

Stopped again six months later for about six months and then started again when my mother died in January.

Again, not a big deal just seemed like the thing to do with all the events around her death involving alcohol.

But then five months later the **** hit the fan in July and here we are July buddies.

Long story short, only you know if you are addicted, but once you is, you is. Six days, six months, six years, you still is.

How I wish it weren't so, but it is.

So, based on my experience, its really not an option.

Plus you cant tear down that pretty Lego house you built before I even get mine up, and give up the July club ... say it ain't so....