Personal growth
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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Personal growth
Hi friends! I wanted to share the personal growth I just realized I made.
I started to try to get sober last September. I relapsed a lot, and when I did, most of the time I was by myself or with my husband. I just wanted that drink. Now the past few relapses this year have only been with my drinking friends.
I no longer have the desire to drink by myself or when out with my husband. Most of my friends have moved out of state and so the temptation to drink with them is gone. I know I'm not fully out of the woods yet, but I'm really excited that I no longer have the desire to drink by myself. That gives me some serious motivation to keep going! Now if I could get the monkey off my shoulder that keeps me thinking about alcohol, that'd be great.
Today makes 53 days sober.
I started to try to get sober last September. I relapsed a lot, and when I did, most of the time I was by myself or with my husband. I just wanted that drink. Now the past few relapses this year have only been with my drinking friends.
I no longer have the desire to drink by myself or when out with my husband. Most of my friends have moved out of state and so the temptation to drink with them is gone. I know I'm not fully out of the woods yet, but I'm really excited that I no longer have the desire to drink by myself. That gives me some serious motivation to keep going! Now if I could get the monkey off my shoulder that keeps me thinking about alcohol, that'd be great.
Today makes 53 days sober.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Congrats on 53 days Birdygal! Glad to hear you are finding motivation to stay sober and find solutions. Regarding the monkey on your back that keeps you thinking about alcohol, do you follow any formal recovery plan of any kind? If you are just "not drinking" it's not surprising that you'd still be having lots of thoughts about alcohol. It certainly improves over time, and the more sober time you have the less you think about it....but most of us need to have a daily plan to learn new ways to live sober. Some folks use AA or other meeting based recovery ( Smart, Life Ring, Celebrate, etc ). Others use self paced methods like AVRT, Mindfulness, etc. Some seek counseling or regular treatment like outpatient rehab, group therapy, etc.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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Oh believe me, that thought is always on my mind. I don't trust myself yet. I still get anxiety when I'm down the beer aisle of the grocery store (the lightbulbs and pop are down that aisle) and I have to quickly get out of there. Haha. But this is big progress for me and I'm excited!
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Scott, I don't have a plan, which is probably why I failed so many times. I don't really talk to anyone about this so I've been doing it fairly private. I have a few people who know and support me. It's a complicated situation and I really don't know what I'm doing, but I'll definitely check those out. Any help is good help.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good on ya for 53 days.
Im rather confused,birdygal.
i read this
I no longer have the desire to drink by myself or when out with my husband.
I no longer have the desire to drink by myself.
but then read this
Now if I could get the monkey off my shoulder that keeps me thinking about alcohol, that'd be great.
believe me, that thought is always on my mind.
I still get anxiety when I'm down the beer aisle of the grocery store
Im rather confused,birdygal.
i read this
I no longer have the desire to drink by myself or when out with my husband.
I no longer have the desire to drink by myself.
but then read this
Now if I could get the monkey off my shoulder that keeps me thinking about alcohol, that'd be great.
believe me, that thought is always on my mind.
I still get anxiety when I'm down the beer aisle of the grocery store
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by birdygal78 
Scott, I don't have a plan, which is probably why I failed so many times. I don't really talk to anyone about this so I've been doing it fairly private. I have a few people who know and support me. It's a complicated situation and I really don't know what I'm doing, but I'll definitely check those out. Any help is good help.
It doesn't have to be complicated at all, and everyone here understands exactly how it feels because we are either going through it right now or have in the past.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by tomsteve
good on ya for 53 days. Im rather confused,birdygal. i read this I no longer have the desire to drink by myself or when out with my husband. I no longer have the desire to drink by myself. but then read this Now if I could get the monkey off my shoulder that keeps me thinking about alcohol, that'd be great. believe me, that thought is always on my mind. I still get anxiety when I'm down the beer aisle of the grocery store
The temptation is not gone. I'm not free of it. I still struggle with the "itch" to do something I don't want to do.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
4.5 years sober i still pass the beer store and *Sigh*. once in a blue moon i get the stupid idea to go inside too but i never do. If i'm in a bar or at a store and i see some new flavor i might think oh man that looks good or too bad i never got to try that one.
it is what it is i guess. but passing a bar or a beer store or something will forever be different for me then say passing a grocery store or something (not sold in grocery stores in my state)
I think the "itch" evolves. but yeah earlier on its like a dang twitch and an itch.
it is what it is i guess. but passing a bar or a beer store or something will forever be different for me then say passing a grocery store or something (not sold in grocery stores in my state)
I think the "itch" evolves. but yeah earlier on its like a dang twitch and an itch.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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Originally Posted by birdygal78
I don't want to drink. But the itch is still there. Before I would want to drink all the time, but forced myself not to and I was miserable. Now I don't want to drink, at all, but there's still a little voice in my head telling me to in certain circumstances.
The temptation is not gone. I'm not free of it. I still struggle with the "itch" to do something I don't want to do.
The temptation is not gone. I'm not free of it. I still struggle with the "itch" to do something I don't want to do.
working the program of aa has removed the problem i had with alcohol. it no longer exists. no more fighting it.no more avoiding temptation.no longer interested in liquor. when i walk into a store and liquor catches my eye, one thought that crosses my mind now and then is:
now wouldnt that be insane!
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
now wouldnt that be insane!
he replied "i'd think your F**** NUTS!"
to work so hard to come so far to just toss int he towel and go back to my old ways yeah I guess it would be totally insane.
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Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
You're doing great, but 53 days is still very early sobriety. Don't push your luck, especially if you're still getting thoughts sometimes. I was *very* fragile at that point in my sobriety and went to meetings, avoided drinking situations, etc.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
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Congratulations. It's lovely when we start to see a change in how we manage ourselves and situations. It might be worth celebrating by taking a good look at your plan, so as to safeguard the precious progress you have made.
I feel like I'm repeating myself as I've said this on another thread today (about making a plan), so I apologise in advance if you already read that thread and what I'm about to say...
The first step to making a 'Plan' might be to make a list of triggers. We all have different triggers to avoid, as well as tending to share the major HALT ones: Hunger; Anger; Loneliness and Tiredness. You will know what your personal triggers are. You can use these to make your own sobriety plan; thinking of ways to avoid those triggers at all costs. It'll probably include some slippery times (MY egs: weekend nights; birthdays; public holidays; christmas) and slippery events (family celebrations; hen dos; if sad; if excited; if pleased; I could go on!!); slippery People (the people I used to get very drunk with; My partner when he is very drunk; My Dad; people who I embarrassed myself with back in the drinking days when my behaviour was not so great), and Slippery places (old drinking haunts; the kind of old off-licence shops that have all kinds of pretty and interesting bottles and lovely artwork on the labels; fairgrounds).
Once you've got a list of triggers, the next part of the plan is thinking of a strategy for avoiding or dealing with those things. Sometimes this site has been very useful for me in developing those strategies (starting a thread on here to get people's idea or experiences). For some people (me included) strategies for dealing with things include group support. I go to AA, and have found that what I learnt there (through the 12-steps, my sponsor, and listening to others at meetings) has been invaluable in leading a happy, fulfilling life without alcohol, and understanding why I needed alcohol to find a 'release'and feel comfortable with myself, and learn to do those things without alcohol comfortably. Anyway - what I was going to say is, Friday night was always a major deal for me when drinking, so was a major trigger time. So, I found a meeting (AA) that I know is a good un and has lots of positive (and humorous) people there, and made that part of my routine. So I still come home and feel like I'm getting ready to go out. Yes, it's a LOT different, but I still get that feeling of 'this is happening so the weekend starts here' (difference is that I now get weekend AMs as well as PMs ).
Although my obsession with alcohol has (for the most part *touch wood*) left me now, I still know that it is important to be mindful of those triggers, and they still have the power to impact upon the quality of my sobriety, if not my sobriety itself. This means that those triggers can, if I'm not mindful, lead to anger; resentments; self-pity; shame; etc. and I need to work on those things, not wallow in them, if I am to stay spiritually well.
Anyway - sorry if this turned into a bit of a ramble.
Wishing you well in your continuing journey to sobriety; recovery; and personal discovery. It sounds like you're well on the way
I feel like I'm repeating myself as I've said this on another thread today (about making a plan), so I apologise in advance if you already read that thread and what I'm about to say...
The first step to making a 'Plan' might be to make a list of triggers. We all have different triggers to avoid, as well as tending to share the major HALT ones: Hunger; Anger; Loneliness and Tiredness. You will know what your personal triggers are. You can use these to make your own sobriety plan; thinking of ways to avoid those triggers at all costs. It'll probably include some slippery times (MY egs: weekend nights; birthdays; public holidays; christmas) and slippery events (family celebrations; hen dos; if sad; if excited; if pleased; I could go on!!); slippery People (the people I used to get very drunk with; My partner when he is very drunk; My Dad; people who I embarrassed myself with back in the drinking days when my behaviour was not so great), and Slippery places (old drinking haunts; the kind of old off-licence shops that have all kinds of pretty and interesting bottles and lovely artwork on the labels; fairgrounds).
Once you've got a list of triggers, the next part of the plan is thinking of a strategy for avoiding or dealing with those things. Sometimes this site has been very useful for me in developing those strategies (starting a thread on here to get people's idea or experiences). For some people (me included) strategies for dealing with things include group support. I go to AA, and have found that what I learnt there (through the 12-steps, my sponsor, and listening to others at meetings) has been invaluable in leading a happy, fulfilling life without alcohol, and understanding why I needed alcohol to find a 'release'and feel comfortable with myself, and learn to do those things without alcohol comfortably. Anyway - what I was going to say is, Friday night was always a major deal for me when drinking, so was a major trigger time. So, I found a meeting (AA) that I know is a good un and has lots of positive (and humorous) people there, and made that part of my routine. So I still come home and feel like I'm getting ready to go out. Yes, it's a LOT different, but I still get that feeling of 'this is happening so the weekend starts here' (difference is that I now get weekend AMs as well as PMs ).
Although my obsession with alcohol has (for the most part *touch wood*) left me now, I still know that it is important to be mindful of those triggers, and they still have the power to impact upon the quality of my sobriety, if not my sobriety itself. This means that those triggers can, if I'm not mindful, lead to anger; resentments; self-pity; shame; etc. and I need to work on those things, not wallow in them, if I am to stay spiritually well.
Anyway - sorry if this turned into a bit of a ramble.
Wishing you well in your continuing journey to sobriety; recovery; and personal discovery. It sounds like you're well on the way
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