If you go down to the woods today.....
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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Originally Posted by Beccybean 
I use AA.
Sponsorship and the steps are unlikely to be explained to you on your first meeting. Most groups let people find their feet a bit first. Was it a Big Book meetings (ie. they read the Big Book in the meeting?) That can be helpful further down the line, but initially just being with people who understand you can be useful.
If you're interested in finding out about Steps 1-3 at home there are various ways of doing this.
1) read the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous : Read the Big Book and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
2) read the 12 and 12 Alcoholics Anonymous : Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
3) Make use of some of the speaker tapes online 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!
Some of them are really good, and this is how I got a lot of my earlier understanding of the step work before I moved to my current location, asked someone to sponsor me, and started attending a 12-and 12 meeting, and a Big Book meeting (the meetings I went to at first were more general share meetings and people tended not to talk much about the steps or their personal recovery work (which is what I have found really helpful this last year).
I'd also really recommend reading Living Sober as it has some brilliant tips for how to enjoy living in sobriety rather than just tolerating it. Alcoholics Anonymous : Living Sober
All the AA publications are available from Amazon (and I bought the Kindle versions so I can read in public without worrying whose looking at my book cover) but we can't put retail links on this site.
I know it sounds like everyone in AA is religious, but give it time and you will realise that this just isn't so. AA is not a religious program, but a spiritual one. Everyone chooses their own Higher Power, and these are very varied. For me, I have just accepted that (1) it is not ME. And (2) It's okay for me to not understand it - why would I? For others it may be Nature or Love or Fellowship, or Family or Balance - and then there's a few people who do choose a God from an organised religion. The point is more about accepting that we are not in control of everything, and that we can experience a kind of freedom by accepting things that we cannot change. And that freedom allows us to focus on the things that we can change, and need to change, in order to reach a state of peace with ourselves.
I hope that's some help - if there's more specific info that'd be helpful, please feel free to ask
Sponsorship and the steps are unlikely to be explained to you on your first meeting. Most groups let people find their feet a bit first. Was it a Big Book meetings (ie. they read the Big Book in the meeting?) That can be helpful further down the line, but initially just being with people who understand you can be useful.
If you're interested in finding out about Steps 1-3 at home there are various ways of doing this.
1) read the Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous : Read the Big Book and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
2) read the 12 and 12 Alcoholics Anonymous : Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions
3) Make use of some of the speaker tapes online 5500+ AA Speakers & Tapes - Organized & Mobile-Friendly!
Some of them are really good, and this is how I got a lot of my earlier understanding of the step work before I moved to my current location, asked someone to sponsor me, and started attending a 12-and 12 meeting, and a Big Book meeting (the meetings I went to at first were more general share meetings and people tended not to talk much about the steps or their personal recovery work (which is what I have found really helpful this last year).
I'd also really recommend reading Living Sober as it has some brilliant tips for how to enjoy living in sobriety rather than just tolerating it. Alcoholics Anonymous : Living Sober
All the AA publications are available from Amazon (and I bought the Kindle versions so I can read in public without worrying whose looking at my book cover) but we can't put retail links on this site.
I know it sounds like everyone in AA is religious, but give it time and you will realise that this just isn't so. AA is not a religious program, but a spiritual one. Everyone chooses their own Higher Power, and these are very varied. For me, I have just accepted that (1) it is not ME. And (2) It's okay for me to not understand it - why would I? For others it may be Nature or Love or Fellowship, or Family or Balance - and then there's a few people who do choose a God from an organised religion. The point is more about accepting that we are not in control of everything, and that we can experience a kind of freedom by accepting things that we cannot change. And that freedom allows us to focus on the things that we can change, and need to change, in order to reach a state of peace with ourselves.
I hope that's some help - if there's more specific info that'd be helpful, please feel free to ask
I think I am going to make contact directly with the organisers of the AA here to understand their vision of things.
No there was no reading from the Big Book? The only reading was people reading from their scribbled notes. and the rest of the time people were moaning about the coffee or their taxes! Sorry am not meaning to sound flippant but that's how it was. There was no structure to the meeting at all which I know is not necessarily a bad thing but it just felt very strange. I do not live in an English speaking country so the language and cultural différences definitely comes in to play. I am also in a rural area. I was not invited to introduce myself either and no one welcomed me. I just kind of sat there. Actually, looking back I hope I actually was sitting in on an AA meeting! How embarassing if I was there on the wrong night!
Thank you very much for all those online resources. I will have a look at them tonight.
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Originally Posted by Fabat50
...Actually, looking back I hope I actually was sitting in on an AA meeting! How embarassing if I was there on the wrong night!
Not all meetings have a Big Book focus. I just thought that's what you might mean when you said that they were working on that step. (Usually step work is done as a personal thing, or 1:1 with your sponsor).
I think anywhere you live, different meeting can be very different. I've been to some where people get all cross about everything, but esp the mention of the Big Book and working the steps. (Those meetings can be full of a very special kind of miserable). I know that some people with longer term and stronger sobriety than mine do make a point of attending these meetings from time to time and try to help a little, but I made the decision to stick to meetings that I know I will meet people who 'have what I want' so I can learn from them.
I think it's a good idea to call the National advice number - they may have some ideas for you. Or at least be able to get you in touch with some other AA ladies in your area. It's still worth giving the meeting some more goes - you never know, maybe some people were away that week. That does happen sometimes.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
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I actually just looked at the AA programme of a neighbouring, larger town. They seem so much more structured. They too seem to be on the "third step" but each meeting also has a theme. One I glanced at for example is "the Holiday season without drink". It seems a lot more organised than my local one. I am more than prepared to put in some extra miles to give it a go.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
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If you call the National number they'll likely have a local person who can call you and tell you all about the different meetings. You might find that there are a few people lift-sharing to travel there as well (esp if your local meeting is a little chaotic - but maybe don't mention what you thought of if til you get to know people better 
).
).
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Join Date: Jul 2014
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I listened to a speaker who had gone to rehab and interacted with a surly nurse/counselor who seemed very unhelpful. He complained about this woman's demeanor many times to anyone who would listen.
One day she snapped at him for not following directions - If I could give you the gift of recovery I wouldn't!!
He thought this contemptuous at best......what a B****~ he thought.
Why wouldn't you want to give me this gift??
The counselor replied with tear filled eyes - Because I wouldn't ever steal the journey of recovery from you.........nothing is more precious.
Ever watched the trilogy Lord of the Rings?? It is nothing compared to the sober journey.
Glad you're here, can't wait to hear about yours friend.......
One day she snapped at him for not following directions - If I could give you the gift of recovery I wouldn't!!
He thought this contemptuous at best......what a B****~ he thought.
Why wouldn't you want to give me this gift??
The counselor replied with tear filled eyes - Because I wouldn't ever steal the journey of recovery from you.........nothing is more precious.
Ever watched the trilogy Lord of the Rings?? It is nothing compared to the sober journey.
Glad you're here, can't wait to hear about yours friend.......
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Originally Posted by Fly N Buy
I listened to a speaker who had gone to rehab and interacted with a surly nurse/counselor who seemed very unhelpful. He complained about this woman's demeanor many times to anyone who would listen.
One day she snapped at him for not following directions - If I could give you the gift of recovery I wouldn't!!
He thought this contemptuous at best......what a B****~ he thought.
Why wouldn't you want to give me this gift??
The counselor replied with tear filled eyes - Because I wouldn't ever steal the journey of recovery from you.........nothing is more precious.
Ever watched the trilogy Lord of the Rings?? It is nothing compared to the sober journey.
Glad you're here, can't wait to hear about yours friend.......
One day she snapped at him for not following directions - If I could give you the gift of recovery I wouldn't!!
He thought this contemptuous at best......what a B****~ he thought.
Why wouldn't you want to give me this gift??
The counselor replied with tear filled eyes - Because I wouldn't ever steal the journey of recovery from you.........nothing is more precious.
Ever watched the trilogy Lord of the Rings?? It is nothing compared to the sober journey.
Glad you're here, can't wait to hear about yours friend.......
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
I try to never judge people. I had my car towed to a garage last week. I was so upset and worried about the cost and how I would be able to get my children to school etc etc etc The Garage owner was the rudest, unkindest most aggressive and sarcastic person you can imagine. I was already very shaken up about my car and he made me feel even worse. I was 3 days sober, a ball of tension and I just wanted to yell at him "What the heck is wrong with you dude at best and a let rip with a long stream of profanities at worse. But I didn't I said my pleases and thankyous and bit my tongue." When I went to collect my car the next day he said "I want to apologise for yesterday. I am dealing with a lot of stress but I should never have taken it out on a client". Then he cut my bill by 50 percent. We never know what demons people are dealing with do we.
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