120degrees0ut

I noticed i have not been feeling better sober. For the past couple of days Ive noticed i feel angry quite alot. All my other problems are front and center now and i really notice them...and how much all these problems bother me. My problems include anger, no self esteem, i feel hopeless alot, and many more which constantly grate on my mind. i moved 2 yrs ago, i live in empty desert. i have no friends here. i dont even have a phone anymore. Im really isolated now. i fear i might start drinking again. I would like to improve things for myself and i know i am able to do that staying sober. I just get angry tho, and tell myself i dont care, etc. with my negativity. my negativity in life is really my downfall. ive been reading, and trying to work on some artwork i started. nothing works lately. but i do constantly keep my mind busy...like ive been reading online for an hour now. when im reading i can at least focus my mind on that. i dont know whats wrong with me. But i have been finding myself thinking, screw this crap, i need a drink. So im able to stop drinking, but im unable to fix everything else. well i feel better writing this out. Now ill go clean something i guess....THANX For Reading!

strategery

It took me awhile to learn how to deal with emotions I had been feeling in early sobriety, especially unpleasant emotions. I was so used to numbing for everything to where sometimes it was overwhelming.

It gets easier. Just keep on hanging in there and look at what you can do to change things. Start building a sober life and start getting involved in things you look forward to. You'll probably meet new people and friends that way too.

bullmas

120degrees0ut

It's going to get better, stay with it!

Alcohol is good at turning our inner emotions against ourselves trying to hit that right nerve to switch us back into the same old routine again.

I know that being sober, that the "itch" to drink will always be there , but that "itch" , is all its ever going to be!

Cheers

Debbie329

I always felt fully aware when I stopped drinking in the past.....and I had some anger issues too. I got a psychiatrist who prescribe me risperdal for about 2 months.......I immediately stopped being angry and crying. Have you seen a doctor about your anger issues, it's not necessary to be sober and angry. Now I'm on Prozac.........I rarely get angry and I don't cry anymore. For me medication and SR has really helped me stay sober for short periods of time, like 50 days at a clip since I started taking Mede and coming on here.

Cow

Mmm. Mhmm. Sounds like sobriety to me. Not know how long you been sober, but has some patience for that you brain chemical and nervous system gonna freak for a while. I tries to look at it as, hey, the body/mind doing stuff in response to no longer being drug/poison and is having to work hard to right it self, so is gonna be lot of chaos.

That cold comfort, I know. But best I has found to do is recognize that anger/sad feelings not always "about" something and sometimes is just brain twisting into sobriety. Not to say you should no investigate to get therapy or relief from this, but it help me to know I enduring such awful states because at end of day, that turmoil will result in progress. I only now believe this to be true cuz after long time suffering, I just starting to feel slivers of relief.

Dee74

Hi 120degrees0ut

I'm not sure how long you've been sober but I'll share my experience.

I really didn't feel any better emotionally right off. I felt a sense of relief sure, and my life got less complicated sober, but I still was all over the place emotionally and I stayed that way for 3 months or so.

I'd messed up my mind and body pretty good. I needed time, and patience, to let myself heal.

3 months against the 30 years I drank and drugged seemed like an ok deal to me, and it still was better than drinking IMO..

My life was still pretty hard tho. I was disabled on a fixed income, my house was pretty crappy and all the friends I had vanished when I got sober.

but...I trusted the folks here that told me I'd feel better...and they were right - I did.

The thing is...just being sober didn't make everything magically better....but, after the first 90 days or so, it did give me an emotional level to work on all the other things.

I'm glad I did - I love my life and who I am now.

Stay sober and start building a sober life you love and I know you will too

D

leviathan

The anger thing was a big part of my first three months. I cranked up the metal and literally painted the whole interior of our large home. This came in handy as we were selling it. LOL.

like cow and Dee said, there is rebound period where our minds "act out" while healing. I believe that one drink will put me back to square-one where I'll have to ride that coaster again. No thanks.

Your awareness is a strength and your anger might have a message or two if you listen. If you are healthy enough, I heartily recommend finding menial activities that are strenuous and throwing yourself at them. -or you could take a baseball bat to a cactus...

Keep it up! It's worth it.

Gottalife

Somewhere in the AA Big Book it describes the symptoms that preceed relapse as feeling restless, irritable and discontent. It seems to the the lot of the dry alcoholic who has not found a way to deal with the underlying issues.

advbike

Pretty much normal.. exercise really helps. Hang in there!

120degrees0ut

All Great Comments and Advice! Thanx Everyone! I still have to read how to use Quotes here. leviathan I love heavy metal too. i tried kickboxing on my nephews stationary padded stand thing, and i want one of those stands! Or a punching bag. yea, i should try exercise advbike! Gottalife, later on I became a dry alcoholic. And yes, I need to work on all of my underlying issues. Dee74, i was just thinking that today, quitting alcohol isnt gonna just magically make life perfect. THANX Everyone for your replies. im feeling fine today. So now ill know that these emotions come on yet leave next day. I need some goal to work towards now, and i bet it will make me feel better mentally. I can actually accomplish things i set my mind to if im sober. have a good nite everybody..

thisisme

Now you can deal with your issues instead of hiding in a bottle. Life will get better, much better than if your ignore life and drink.

120degrees0ut

Thanx thisisme....i did ignore life while staying a slave to alcohol. i wasted alotta years of my life doing it, too.

bullmas

120degrees0ut : we all wasted a lot of time of our lives using,

What is done is done . Just don't waste anymore.

Keep it up!

Cheers

Dday1313

I think everyone here hit the nail on the head with early sobriety being rough on our emotions. One thing I noticed is no one eluded to the promises we have in recovery. I went to a fourth step meeting recently and the presenter used an acronym to describe early sobriety: SOBER: Son of a b$!#!, everything real.

How do we deal with all those emotions? Someone already said medication but I feel there is a much better answer...take the plunge on step 4. Yeah it is scary as hell but the relief at making an Inventory and sharing it with someone else far outweighs any power of exercise and medication

Soberwolf

Fantastic post Dee74 says exactly how it is