Katie88

drinking has ruined everything and i am so depressed about it that i just don't see the point in stopping.

also, i don't have health insurance that covers rehab.

my relationships, health, professional career, family, everything - ruined.

Coldfusion

Hi Katie!

When I couldn't imagine life with or without alcohol, I also felt I couldn't afford to quit. But I found a no-cost, nearby detox program. Have you looked into this at all?

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR, Katie.

Though alcohol wasn't my thing, I also lost most of you what you did.
SR and other support has helped me to be a few months shy of 9 years in recovery.

I don't know how much you drink, but would highly recommend a check up with a doctor (many public assistance can help you find ones on sling sale according to your income

Please keep reading and posting here. You are not a part of a family who truly understands.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Katie88

I am scared to go to the doctor. My digestive system is all messed up and i can feel my liver swollen.

ScottFromWI

Depending on where you live there may be low cost or free clinics Katie. Your health is nothing to mess with. Our bodies have amazing capacity to heal if we get help soon enough.

Kallistia

If you are stateside you should have a county clinic that you can go to for a health screening and mental health services that can advise you on steps and help you develop a plan to abstain from alcohol and address your depression as well.

There is a reason to quit - go look in your mirror - that reason will be looking back at you. You deserve to be healthy and happy and that bottle isn't going to get you anywhere near what you deserve in this life.

Verdantia

Hello Katie,
I get it; I didn't see the point in stopping either until I realized it was give up the drink or live an utterly miserable and shortened life. You can stop and you will be amazed at the way your situation, mental and physical health will improve. SR is a wonderful place for advice and support. I wish you the best.

Lenina

((((Katie)))) it feels hopeless and it's hard. But you can recover. The liver probably is swollen but will reverse back to health if you stop abusing it with alcohol.

For me, reading Rational Recovery really helped me wrap my mind around this craziness. Being able to separate myself from the disease was a big help. Read around on the secular section bored about the Addictive Voice. For me, I was finally able to understand how I drank when I didn't want to!

Please don't give on you, we won't,

Love from Lenina

Soberwolf

Listen to Scott's post Katie I completly agree

doggonecarl

Sober Recovery is free....but you have to avail yourself to the support, you have to come daily, multiple times a day to read and post. You have to use it. Same with AA. Free and available--if you work it the program. And the same with Rational Recovery. It works if you read the book, apply the principles of the program.

Common theme here: You have to take an active role in your recovery. You have to want to quit and you have to be willing to do what it takes to get and stay sober. Then you will see the despair and hopelessness lift.

Bird615

Welcome to SR, Katie!
It can and does get better if you put some effort into it and don't stop trying.

zjw

aside from all of that you are still you. none of that above defines you. sometimes we gotta loose it all to gain it all etc..

Its easier said then done but try not to allow focusing on the above to prevent you from focusing on you and getting sober. Things can be really bad but if we focus on how bad it all is sometimes its near impossible to pull ourselves out of the pit heck it practically is imposible.

There is hope if you cant do rehab or something. AA is free. I sobered up with no help the first year. It was foolish but i was stubborn but it worked. it was hard but it was possible.

its easy to sit aorund and see the mess we created and say we are screwed. but there are some things we can do. Posting here like you are is a good start too. hang in there.

thisisme

I had to come to terms with the man in the mirror.
I put everything else aside and focussed on sobriety.
The decision was costly, terribly hard and the most rewarding of my life.

It can be done. It gets easier. It's worth it.

gonzo51511

Hi katie. I feel your pain believe me and im sorry your going thru this. I also lost just about everything worth while in my life due to alcohol. The woman i love more than anything in this world, a very good job offer plus probably my drivers liscense for who knows how long. This Saturdayi will have been sober for 90 days. Its hard to describe how im feeling. Definitely have no urge to pick up a lousy drink thats for sure. But there are good days and bad days still for sure. But my head is clearing which makes dealing with the bad days not as bad. I also go to alot of AA meetings and am working the steps with my sponsor. One thing im pretty sure if is if i pick up im done for. Drinking will only make everything much worse. I hope u get the help u need. You can do this!!

Dee74

how are you doing Katie?

D

Jfire

Katie Im off it a week after a weeks binge Im soooo depressed too , alcohol kinda does that , and yeah it feels like my life is in tatters but I played this record before and got to the end and flipped the record to the other side for a nicer song , which is what Im doing now

unfortunately this record is a long player. patience and time (one day)

Carlotta

How are you today Katie?

Brian316

Hi Katie, welcome to the forums. There are many good, helpful people here with long-term sobriety. Folks that have been where you are. It's good that you've reached out. I just wanna share something that brought tears to my eyes several times today that was read at an AA meeting. This is from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, Fourth Edition Page 364. This statement is so simple yet powerful to me. It was often told to me by many people here! "You don't have to drink again." It continues, "This was a total revelation to me. For a long time I had believed that alcohol was one of the few positive things left in my life."
I too lost alot over my drinking career until booze was almost all I had left. As someone mentioned though, with sobriety stuff can come back better or be totally renewed. I wish you the best, please don't give up!

Music

AA meetings are free and since alcohol is a depressant drug, I'm not surprised you're depressed. Focus on yourself getting sober. Work if you have a job, go to a lot of meetings and follow instructions.

Berrybean

Sorry that everything is feeling hopeless for you at the moment - are you intending to go back to AA?