BackToSquareOne

I often wonder about this one, does such a thing as "Normal" really exist or is it just a group construct? Almost everyone has behaviors, likes and dislikes that are different than others but we don't say one is normal and the other not, (well maybe some people do). I know this seems like a strange topic but it does raise a lot of questions. Any thoughts?

NoelleR

I've always believed, and still do today, that like everybody's recovery experience (or life experience, for that matter) is his/her own (there's none better or worse); everybody's normal is his/her own, too. IMHO, these are subjective terms.

I always cringe when I hear someone respond to another's share with something along the lines of, "It's only normal to feel this way," or "It's natural to feel like that." What about the person who doesn't feel this way? I that person abnormal or unnatural?

So, to answer your question, I do believe in such a thing as "normal," but my normal may not be the same as your normal.

(o:

zjw

what is, is "normal"

its really a tough question. growing up i thought it was normal for the man of the house to come home drink like a fish beat the kids i mean discipline the kids. and mom and dad to be totally stressed out about money and in bad moods etc... I thought the beatings i got any kid got. I thought that was normal.

When i drank like a fish each night i thought that was totally normal behaivior who doesnt drink like that every night? ok ok maybe some dont like drinking or something but that didnt make me abnormal because i did.

so i guess at any given time what is, is normal. but when you start to question it or look back going OMG what was i thinking you might say this or that is not normal.

On The Road

Hi BTSO Relative to my sobriety, I view my behaviors and reactions to others as my New Normal. This means that I have learned (and am continuing to learn) how to live a sober routine in a world where booze is the "norm". My New Normal means that I have to do things differently than I have in the past in order to maintain my sobriety, much like an amputee learns to adapt to living without his leg. So for me, "normal" is my own personal construct, created and perceived by me for my own purposes.

ScottFromWI

Thats' a very, very broad and open ended question with probably an infinite number of possible responses.

Are you asking what "normal" means specifically in the sense of sobriety or just the general sense of the word itself? If it's the latter I'd say it's merely a semantics argument.

BackToSquareOne

I was thinking about this because a neighbor made a comment to me today that she thought it was strange that another neighbor walked up and down the street every day and looked up at all the houses, she said the person was a "nosey thing". I know the person she was talking about and she is just a bored older woman looking for someone to talk to and walking to get a little exercise. It made me think about how we jump to conclusions and pass judgments .

Kallistia

Everyone has a different normal and the word "normal" is entirely subjective - I worked with a man who had a family built habit of throwing his hands up and saying "Mickey Mouse!" Anytime something surprising happened...completely normal to him...completely bonkers to everyone else.

I don't use energy focusing on normal, being normal, appearing to be normal. Who decided what is and is not normal? Obsessive attention to being "normal" is a form a lowered self esteem, seeing an aspect of yourself and deeming it abnormal and this trying to change or hide it from others so that they won't consider one and odd duck.

Normal is what you make it.

ScottFromWI

From that context I definitely understand what you are saying. No matter how "open minded" we strive to be, I think part of human nature is to solve problems and our basic instinct is to protect ourselves...so we naturally form judgments and conclusions about the world around us based on what we think "normal" is.