Sad about life after drinking.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
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Originally Posted by trachemys 
"Underestimate" sleepie? Forgive the language: are you shittin me?
sleepie is one of our Titans. She's harder than diamonds and determined to be sober. God help anyone that gets in the way of that.
sleepie is one of our Titans. She's harder than diamonds and determined to be sober. God help anyone that gets in the way of that.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Alright last night I went and saw some friends. My boyfriend came with. We haven't seen my friends for weeks and I was getting severely depressed. Well it felt so good to be near my friends and make them laugh. I was happy for the first time in weeks and I love making my friends laugh, and catching up, I am a social reject who needs to be social. It's pretty sad. I mean I felt so unworried and just good for the first time in weeks.I have a weird situation where I have to deflect everyone's judgement with humor. And I feel accomplished if I can do this, I feel like I won even though life tried hard to smack me lifeless if I can get someone to laugh. You wouldn't know it from my posts here.
Anyway, I really need to do that more often. I kind of realized that being cooped up and totally adhering to my boyfriend's preferred lifestyle of staying indoors all the time unless it's to go to the doctor or a hardware store or grocery shopping or his parents is very detrimental to my mental health. And it makes me want to drink! Anyway so that's me. BF is going to need to step it up and just deal with getting out of the house with me once in awhile. I am not unreasonable for wanting to be out and see my friends and have my loved one with me! He's gonna have to deal.
Anyway, I really need to do that more often. I kind of realized that being cooped up and totally adhering to my boyfriend's preferred lifestyle of staying indoors all the time unless it's to go to the doctor or a hardware store or grocery shopping or his parents is very detrimental to my mental health. And it makes me want to drink! Anyway so that's me. BF is going to need to step it up and just deal with getting out of the house with me once in awhile. I am not unreasonable for wanting to be out and see my friends and have my loved one with me! He's gonna have to deal.
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Thanks guys 
Rose that is exactly it. Exactly. I am the same. It's like this- I was trying to explain this to my boyfriend awhile back.
I am the sort of person who does my life in small bursts of activity with lots of quiet or "down time" in between, ideally. So I am kind of "on" while I am out and I want to talk to everyone. Then super quiet time. Then go do it again. I am actually a really shy and horribly horribly self conscious, anxious person and the way I try and avoid immediate judgement based on my appearance, which has happened my entire, entire life- is to try and say something interesting or funny and then keep them listening. So they will like me for what I said and forget the rest. It gets really tiring. At times it is fun but can't be at that speed all the time so when I am not I am inside and alone or at work. What I was trying to explain to him is that I am actually very introverted, so much so that while walking outside or in public I am completely in my own world because I am so scared of someone criticizing me- I will walk right into things I'm so distracted by this. So I have no choice when confronted by people or when I have to interact but to try and be funny or interesting.
My BF on the other hand is taking in everything around him from businesses to the architecture- while I am so nervous and trying to stay focused (I'm really scatterbrained too and distracted) that I will walk by the same business 30 times and never even notice what it is.
Rose that is exactly it. Exactly. I am the same. It's like this- I was trying to explain this to my boyfriend awhile back.
I am the sort of person who does my life in small bursts of activity with lots of quiet or "down time" in between, ideally. So I am kind of "on" while I am out and I want to talk to everyone. Then super quiet time. Then go do it again. I am actually a really shy and horribly horribly self conscious, anxious person and the way I try and avoid immediate judgement based on my appearance, which has happened my entire, entire life- is to try and say something interesting or funny and then keep them listening. So they will like me for what I said and forget the rest. It gets really tiring. At times it is fun but can't be at that speed all the time so when I am not I am inside and alone or at work. What I was trying to explain to him is that I am actually very introverted, so much so that while walking outside or in public I am completely in my own world because I am so scared of someone criticizing me- I will walk right into things I'm so distracted by this. So I have no choice when confronted by people or when I have to interact but to try and be funny or interesting.
My BF on the other hand is taking in everything around him from businesses to the architecture- while I am so nervous and trying to stay focused (I'm really scatterbrained too and distracted) that I will walk by the same business 30 times and never even notice what it is.
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i'm ok never leaving the house my wife on the other hand it seems like she cant wait to leave the house. it urks me and i complain about it a lot to be honest. But I also realize she's social likes to be out with her friends and what not it helps her keep her sanity etc..
gotta do what you gotta do to remain happy and healthy. He'll be happier if your happier too!
When i had my first child firned of mine said no no no let her go out and hang out with the moms they go they sit around and gab for a few hours and they come back all happy just let her go out. I was like hmmm you dont say.... sure enouhg let her out to gab with her friends she comes back all happy so it does work out.
gotta do what you gotta do to remain happy and healthy. He'll be happier if your happier too!
When i had my first child firned of mine said no no no let her go out and hang out with the moms they go they sit around and gab for a few hours and they come back all happy just let her go out. I was like hmmm you dont say.... sure enouhg let her out to gab with her friends she comes back all happy so it does work out.
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People need to meet each other's needs it's not all about one or the other. I feel as if I have to cringe every time I want to do something that takes bf out of his comfort zone and I am realizing that is really, really bad for my mental health. My anxiety is bad enough. I have many years of being cruelly socially ostracized and bullied behind me growing up and it shaped me. It took many years to try and get over that even a little, I still struggle with feeling I have any right to life or happiness. And I do not and never will agree with "we're all introvert or extrovert" that is pure rubbish. People are different things at different times for different reasons. Staying in all the time has not been good for bf either... he was obese when I met him, a weekend smoker and binge drinker and NOT particularly nice to people. Well that changed. I have been on the other end of guys like him and it really ticks me off that he behaved that way. He has changed and I see it makes him happy. He tells me that when he makes the effort to be a little kinder to people and just get out of the comfort zone to say, someone behind a counter or a desk or whatnot, he feels really good about the response from that person.
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And hiding behind personas! He always described this behavior as "typical programmer".
Look fella we're all human, we all need the same basic things... sorry, you're NOT special- nobody is in my eyes except those that consistently exercise true compassion, which is a rarity.
Can "terminal uniqueness" apply to non alcoholics, cause I think I got one.
Look fella we're all human, we all need the same basic things... sorry, you're NOT special- nobody is in my eyes except those that consistently exercise true compassion, which is a rarity.
Can "terminal uniqueness" apply to non alcoholics, cause I think I got one.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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Waking up in minor life panic these days. Although I'm really working on my outlook, it is like that part of my brain is constantly running, or trying to tell me something. And when i wake up in the middle of the night it is on. Mid life, scary job outlook, always alone, pauper parents. I wake up at 5 am my mind spinning.
I don't know what to do. No one ever helped, and I think I was sort of incouraged not to take anything seriously. Because I think it was how my parents coped. Dad had his semi wealthy parents. Mom had her rose colored glasses. Rather than think about something, they opted to ignore, or construct pleasant fantasies.
Parenting yourself is hard because you don't know what to do or how to think and so you have to sort through that detritus of panic to figure out what is real and what isn't. It takes a lot of courage, a lot of blind leaps. A lot of trial and error. A lot of listening to others and rejecting and accepting. Learning to know your actual self from your reactive ego survival self.
I don't know what to do. No one ever helped, and I think I was sort of incouraged not to take anything seriously. Because I think it was how my parents coped. Dad had his semi wealthy parents. Mom had her rose colored glasses. Rather than think about something, they opted to ignore, or construct pleasant fantasies.
Parenting yourself is hard because you don't know what to do or how to think and so you have to sort through that detritus of panic to figure out what is real and what isn't. It takes a lot of courage, a lot of blind leaps. A lot of trial and error. A lot of listening to others and rejecting and accepting. Learning to know your actual self from your reactive ego survival self.
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