Sad about life after drinking.
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Originally Posted by Holds1325 
At some point this will probably involve some type of therapy, though I'm still refusing meds because my OCD brain won't allow it.
For me it kind of came down to acceptance with my anxiety, a lot like it did with my alcoholism. I fought and fought for years to "fix" myself so I could drink like a normal person, but the alcohol always won.
I also fought the idea of therapy and or meds for years too because thought it was "weak" or somehow shameful to admit that I had psychological issues. But you know what, once I accepted that it was OK to seek help things got a LOT easier to deal with.
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LD is a whole different ballgame.
I wish there was a therapy or a med or something. There isn't. One is left entirely on their own when their intellect is affected.
And that comment my friends made about their baby. It hurt deep. And that's the kind of thing I bear on a regular basis. People calling me an idiot at work, or if I say "I don't know", I might get "That's RIGHT, you DON'T know" curtly thrown back at my face. People like me are outright hated and it's accepted. People like me are tolerated at best.
If someone in a wheelchair was lagging behind and said "Hey guys, I can't keep up" would you then say "THAT'S RIGHT you CAN'T". Hopefully not. But someone in my position, who isn't affected enough to be totally obvious but is affected enough to make a ton of mistakes will pay over and over in so many ways and after awhile, yes it hurts too much.
Thank you least.
I wish there was a therapy or a med or something. There isn't. One is left entirely on their own when their intellect is affected.
And that comment my friends made about their baby. It hurt deep. And that's the kind of thing I bear on a regular basis. People calling me an idiot at work, or if I say "I don't know", I might get "That's RIGHT, you DON'T know" curtly thrown back at my face. People like me are outright hated and it's accepted. People like me are tolerated at best.
If someone in a wheelchair was lagging behind and said "Hey guys, I can't keep up" would you then say "THAT'S RIGHT you CAN'T". Hopefully not. But someone in my position, who isn't affected enough to be totally obvious but is affected enough to make a ton of mistakes will pay over and over in so many ways and after awhile, yes it hurts too much.
Thank you least.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Originally Posted by sleepie
LD is a whole different ballgame.
I wish there was a therapy or a med or something. There isn't. One is left entirely on their own when their intellect is affected.
And that comment my friends made about their baby. It hurt deep. And that's the kind of thing I bear on a regular basis. People calling me an idiot at work, or if I say "I don't know", I might get "That's RIGHT, you DON'T know" curtly thrown back at my face. People like me are outright hated and it's accepted. People like me are tolerated at best.
If someone in a wheelchair was lagging behind and said "Hey guys, I can't keep up" would you then say "THAT'S RIGHT you CAN'T". Hopefully not. But someone in my position, who isn't affected enough to be totally obvious but is affected enough to make a ton of mistakes will pay over and over in so many ways and after awhile, yes it hurts too much.
Thank you least.
I wish there was a therapy or a med or something. There isn't. One is left entirely on their own when their intellect is affected.
And that comment my friends made about their baby. It hurt deep. And that's the kind of thing I bear on a regular basis. People calling me an idiot at work, or if I say "I don't know", I might get "That's RIGHT, you DON'T know" curtly thrown back at my face. People like me are outright hated and it's accepted. People like me are tolerated at best.
If someone in a wheelchair was lagging behind and said "Hey guys, I can't keep up" would you then say "THAT'S RIGHT you CAN'T". Hopefully not. But someone in my position, who isn't affected enough to be totally obvious but is affected enough to make a ton of mistakes will pay over and over in so many ways and after awhile, yes it hurts too much.
Thank you least.
And to lash out at SR and somehow insinuate that you are "hated" is frankly very disrespectful. You receive more attention and positive comments than anyone in the Alcoholism forum. Feeling down and out is one thing, but biting the hand that feeds you is another.
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Yep and the old "self pity" getting thrown in the face of a disorder that affects every minute of every day.
And this is why I feel less than human, and why I don't feel I have a right to be among the population.
Non verbal learning disorder I have written about it quite a bit here and posted links.
This author has it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk7inZOfv7M
Look her up, she has had a hard life including homelessness.
And this is why I feel less than human, and why I don't feel I have a right to be among the population.
Non verbal learning disorder I have written about it quite a bit here and posted links.
This author has it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk7inZOfv7M
Look her up, she has had a hard life including homelessness.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I'm sure you know the story of the 2 wolves?
I dunno you can feel worthless if you want. Your past mighta been crap but your worthwhile to me I like your posts etc..
I had an incident with my mother when she was here we where talking about my education and learning growing up bad grades etc.. she said maybe we should have had you evaluated for a learning disorder what your decribing sounds like you might have one. I almost strangled her I thought instead I got beat nonstop for bad grades NOW you suggest maybe i have a learning disorder? But i thought what difference does it make. I thought if I go and find out I have one now or then what diff does it make. I'm still me either way. Just like your still you either way.
I dunno learning disorder or not makes no diff to me about you. If anything its cool to see you rise above all of this like you have. I think if you stay on the sober track you'll hit a point where you will wear your past on your sleeve like some kinda badge of honor. One by one some of the stuff from my past becomes somethign i'm thankful for becuase its who i am today. not everything not yet anyhow But I htink in time more and more stuff ends up there.
Hang in there sleepie. You could be going through another rough spot in time it passes this stuff these feelings they come and they go they are thankfully transient.
An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life...
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."
"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,
"Which wolf will win?"
The old chief simply replied,
"The one you feed."
I had an incident with my mother when she was here we where talking about my education and learning growing up bad grades etc.. she said maybe we should have had you evaluated for a learning disorder what your decribing sounds like you might have one. I almost strangled her I thought instead I got beat nonstop for bad grades NOW you suggest maybe i have a learning disorder? But i thought what difference does it make. I thought if I go and find out I have one now or then what diff does it make. I'm still me either way. Just like your still you either way.
I dunno learning disorder or not makes no diff to me about you. If anything its cool to see you rise above all of this like you have. I think if you stay on the sober track you'll hit a point where you will wear your past on your sleeve like some kinda badge of honor. One by one some of the stuff from my past becomes somethign i'm thankful for becuase its who i am today. not everything not yet anyhow But I htink in time more and more stuff ends up there.
Hang in there sleepie. You could be going through another rough spot in time it passes this stuff these feelings they come and they go they are thankfully transient.
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I spoke with a neuro psychologist last winter. I had my tests and IQ tests from when I was a teen, tested a few times over. She agreed that yes, I have this disorder but she would want to test again to make an official diagnosis. I have every textbook description symptom. I mean I was sick about it when I read of it because it was as if someone wrote my life story. And it was not a good story.
Of course the testing costs thousands of dollars, I mean like 3 or 4 thousand.
Of course the testing costs thousands of dollars, I mean like 3 or 4 thousand.
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Originally Posted by sleepie
This author has it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk7inZOfv7M
Look her up, she has had a hard life including homelessness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yk7inZOfv7M
Look her up, she has had a hard life including homelessness.
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What sort of support would be useful, Sleepie?
Do you want to be told "you have it worse than everyone else and no one will ever understand how badly you have it?"
It sounds like that is the only acceptable response.
I am really curious, not meant to be judgy.
Do you want to be told "you have it worse than everyone else and no one will ever understand how badly you have it?"
It sounds like that is the only acceptable response.
I am really curious, not meant to be judgy.
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zjw that's a thing that's been raised before, why would I want a diagnosis?
Because then there is a definite answer to why I am such an utter failure. And it wouldn't be entirely my fault for contending with an LD. I could maybe, ease up on myself a little. But also, it might kill me to know.
Because then there is a definite answer to why I am such an utter failure. And it wouldn't be entirely my fault for contending with an LD. I could maybe, ease up on myself a little. But also, it might kill me to know.
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for what its worth sleepie I've seen yoru journey here the ups and downs the successes etc.. and it reminds me very much of myself. one min i'm ok the next min i'm ready to walk in traffic. It was so maddening for me. and everyone around me got real tired of it too.
In time it gets better tho. i got a better handle on it now. I wont lie tho I still have issues i just dont post about it much becuase i'm always worried i'll bring people down or have some good words i offered up thrown in my face or something. WHICH is why i really appreciate your posts becuase you put it out there. I love that about you. you got a lot of courage courage I know I lack. I sould ask for help so often but I dont because i'm too scared. But here you are posting about all of this getting the help you need.
I could learn a thing or 2 from you believe me.
In time it gets better tho. i got a better handle on it now. I wont lie tho I still have issues i just dont post about it much becuase i'm always worried i'll bring people down or have some good words i offered up thrown in my face or something. WHICH is why i really appreciate your posts becuase you put it out there. I love that about you. you got a lot of courage courage I know I lack. I sould ask for help so often but I dont because i'm too scared. But here you are posting about all of this getting the help you need.
I could learn a thing or 2 from you believe me.
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I haven't got anyone to talk to zjw I am very in the closet about this disorder in my real life. I felt that this place is safe to say such things. And if there is anyone at all lout there struggling alone with LD and addiction and anxiety and abuse etc. and they are lurking, let it be known then that you have me for company. I would love to talk. Who knows. Maybe someone will google something and this post will come up.
It really helps to know you aren't alone on Mars.
It really helps to know you aren't alone on Mars.
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The learning comes from the journey. I think everyone should just take it down a notch.
Sleepie, you're a really talented writer. I could see that thing you wrote about shopping published on toast or somewhere. A dream need not be realistic, but it is a start.
I've been miserable this last year because I couldn't see anyway out of a dead end job. Is your situation something like that?
Sleepie, you're a really talented writer. I could see that thing you wrote about shopping published on toast or somewhere. A dream need not be realistic, but it is a start.
I've been miserable this last year because I couldn't see anyway out of a dead end job. Is your situation something like that?
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I swear along with the prediabetes and this, it reminds me of my brother. Oddly, he is homeless now, well sort of, he can't stay in one area too long. Growing up we thought he was just dyslexic, but he wasn't, he had the same type of learning disorder you do.
Before that he was doing great, he was in therapy, he had someone teaching him one on one, getting ready to go to college, but he got into drugs, and drank his sorrows away. It was sad because he was doing so well. I still talk to him often hes probably one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.
These issues can be overcome though, we have them and then learn to live with them, either healthily, or let these things take our lives.
Before that he was doing great, he was in therapy, he had someone teaching him one on one, getting ready to go to college, but he got into drugs, and drank his sorrows away. It was sad because he was doing so well. I still talk to him often hes probably one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet.
These issues can be overcome though, we have them and then learn to live with them, either healthily, or let these things take our lives.
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Originally Posted by sleepie
Nalo is one in a million, not the norm.
What exactly is it you seek from SR Sleepie? As someone else mentioned, we aren't going to just agree with you that you are somehow "doomed" or "unfixable". That is not was SR is about. It's about facing whatever challenges we might have and making the best with what we HAVE.
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