Diary of a Mad Cow, Part XV: "Is a Moo Dawn, Is a Moo Day, Is a Moo Life" ...kind of.
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Cow,
I also have a very difficult time accepting love.
I am very good at giving it, but taking it, not so much.
But even though I be a giver, too much so but that is another conversation, the concept of unconditional love came with my children, and had I not had them, I don't think I would have known what it truly means either.
But when I see those moms of killers who sill love them I completely understand, cause if one of my girls would do something terrible, I would still love her. Hate what she did, won't understand, not expect anyone else to love her, but for me as a mother the love really is unconditional -- at least mine is.
Now I know your mom not only did not love you unconditionally, but abused you, so you have no example of what this is, cause she be bad mom. And you don't have kids, so no example there. So best analogy for me for you would be pet -- the love you feel for a pet, isn't that there no matter they poop all over the living room.
But people like Trachs who can love people unconditionally that are no relation that is very rare and special. I am going to think on this a while -- I try to love unconditionally but at the end, if someone I love abuse me constantly like my Ex did, it take a long time, but at some point maybe I not love them anymore, so its not really unconditional but my kids do it all the time and I still love them. So that means it really is unconditional -- maybe not so healthy, but unconditional.
But maybe the concept of real unconditional love is not the real issue. Cause thats a hard concept for all of us.
Point is we love each other and support each other no matter what, unless the no matter what gets too much for us to handle and survive. And the extent of the unconditionality depends on how much we can handle and survive, and that is different for everyone.
I think I wax philosophical for long enough.
I love you guys, but don't step on my turtle than all bets are off.
I also have a very difficult time accepting love.
I am very good at giving it, but taking it, not so much.
But even though I be a giver, too much so but that is another conversation, the concept of unconditional love came with my children, and had I not had them, I don't think I would have known what it truly means either.
But when I see those moms of killers who sill love them I completely understand, cause if one of my girls would do something terrible, I would still love her. Hate what she did, won't understand, not expect anyone else to love her, but for me as a mother the love really is unconditional -- at least mine is.
Now I know your mom not only did not love you unconditionally, but abused you, so you have no example of what this is, cause she be bad mom. And you don't have kids, so no example there. So best analogy for me for you would be pet -- the love you feel for a pet, isn't that there no matter they poop all over the living room.
But people like Trachs who can love people unconditionally that are no relation that is very rare and special. I am going to think on this a while -- I try to love unconditionally but at the end, if someone I love abuse me constantly like my Ex did, it take a long time, but at some point maybe I not love them anymore, so its not really unconditional but my kids do it all the time and I still love them. So that means it really is unconditional -- maybe not so healthy, but unconditional.
But maybe the concept of real unconditional love is not the real issue. Cause thats a hard concept for all of us.
Point is we love each other and support each other no matter what, unless the no matter what gets too much for us to handle and survive. And the extent of the unconditionality depends on how much we can handle and survive, and that is different for everyone.
I think I wax philosophical for long enough.
I love you guys, but don't step on my turtle than all bets are off.
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