Tomandliv

Hello,

I feel like I'm posting too much, but I have so many questions whirring in my head.

I'm not an addict but my boyfriend is. He's currently on a heavy bender since Thursday. I'm guessing around 5 or 6 bottles of wine a day (I'm not with him he's at his flat so I'm unsure but I've seen the empties and seen his state).

My question is, when he runs out of money (yesterday he had £25-£30 left) what will he do? He won't be able to buy alcohol therefore will suffer a bad withdrawal?
His bank card is broken and he has injuries from a motorbike accident, so I can't see him hobbling all the way to the bank to get money. It's a 20 minute walk.

He's alone and I'm worried about a severe withdrawal. I'm assuming he would call an ambulance?

Thanks

Jsbodhi

He might hobble to the store :/
Or convince someone to help him get it, I'm not sure, everyone is different, I hope he would call an ambulance? What has he done in the past in this sort of situation?
Past behaviour will usually predict current behaviour.

You're not posting too much xo

Anna

I'm not sure what your boyfriend would do.

Have you thought about getting support for yourself? You might check out AlAnon in your area for support. We also have a forum for Friends & Families of Alcoholics on this board.

Fly N Buy

Alcoholics are very resourceful. If I wanted alcohol and had access to money it was simply a matter of how not if I get drunk. Once I ordered a pizza and talked delivery driver into picking up a 12 pack of beer for me.........

I hope you find the support you need and your bf seeks help if he gets to a point of deciding to quit.

Notimetoloose

Somehow alcoholics can always find the money and a way for the alcohol.

...and, unfortunately, sometimes that means beg, borrow and steal!!

I am sorry you are going through this. It is important that you look after yourself.

fantail

Is he willing to get help/stop? If he's drinking as much as you think, he should go to the hospital to stop. You're right, withdrawal can be dangerous. He can certainly call an ambulance.

Unfortunately he'll have to make that decision. I'm sorry for the position you're in. Do you have any support for yourself?

otter

There's no easy answer for this situation. This person may resent you for the rest of their life if you call an ambulance on him.

Use your best judgement and that's about all I can offer.

Tomandliv

Thank you for the replies.

I guess (like someone wrote) he'll find a way to drink then.
He has said in the past that the only times he stopped were usually due to money running out or health reasons like hospital.
So I assume he will hobble to the bank to get money - madness.
He lives alone, and has no phone credit so it's hard to know how he's doing.
I could call him but he rarely answers and I also sent him a text saying I wouldn't contact him until he's sober, so I want to stick to that.
His mum has been dropping him off alcohol but she's at the end of her tether now.
Here in the UK is it possible for him to call someone and them to come and help him detox or give medication for his withdrawal??
From what I've heard, he has to go to some place to refer himself for an assessment. Which seems silly given that he can't hardly walk or sober up. Grrrr.

Tomandliv

He says he wants to stop and seems willing, but he's drinking heavy and I can't see how he's going to be able to stop. He doesn't even know what day or time it is really.
So if he calls an ambulance he can be taken to the hospital to stop? Or does he have to be in serious health problems to call?

Tomandliv

He's lived with his ex in the past so he's had someone there.
He did mention that he would gradually cut back the alcohol (I'm assuming when his money ran out he realised it and took action). It just seems different this time as he's drinking so much so fast.

ScottFromWI

Drinking to the point of incapacitation is a medical emergency, yes. And they do know how to deal with it at an emergency room. Most likely what he needs is an inpatient/medically supervised detox.

Having said that, you have been doing lots and lots of research on his behalf, which of course is admirable. But the reality of the situation is that he has to figure this out and want it for himself. You cannot "FIX" him no matter how hard you try, and you are going to do damage to yourself if you continue to keep trying to do so.

Tomandliv

Thank you, I understand and agree. I just want him to be safe - as in alive. I guess that's why I'm so worried about withdrawal.
Good news is he has rang the GP to try and get Librium. However it's apparently unlikely they'll give it to him.
Apparently he has to go to a DHI place and get a referral for help. In the meantime they want him to 'control' his own drinking. Which is a tad hard to understand because if he could, he wouldn't be an alcoholic.
However his mum and I have told him those steps, so it's up to him now

ScottFromWI

Sounds like he has access to all the resources he will need, and you are correct that it's up to him now.

Anna

Yes, that's the bottom line, it is up to him now.

Tomandliv

Well he's been taken to hospital now as his mum rang the police on him. He rang me with them there at his flat and he was saying he wanted to kill himself, so I hope they keep him in hospital and get him on some withdrawal drugs and some psychiatric help.
I'm just glad he's safe and I hope the don't discharge him.

ScottFromWI

Sounds like he's getting the help he needs for now, that's good to hear.

Dee74

I'm glad he's safe and I hope he gets the help he needs tomandliv

D

fantail

If it helps... I was drinking like that at the end. No idea what day it was. Police showed up as well. I wasn't suicidal but I was very devastated coming out of it. Just beside myself. It's three months later and I'm doing very well. I feel like myself again, and that experience seems very far away. If he can keep himself sober, things can turn around for him too.

Sorry for what you went through. I'm glad he's safe.

Tomandliv

I'm glad you're doing well, that's quite an achievement.
Thank you.. I hope he'll be alright, it's just getting him to change his view about life and events that he perceives as stressful. I hope he can start to realise himself that his thinking is a tad warped and negative/blameful.
He's at home at his flat now trying to drink beers to keep his withdrawal at bay while he waits for his doctors appointment tomorrow for Librium.

Fingers crossed for him.

ScottFromWI

Please keep in mind that you cannot "get him to change". He will need to change for himself, and the fact that he's back home drinking again is a pretty clear sign that he's not fully committed to change. It's hard to do I know but at some point you are going to need to let this whole situation go and focus on yourself. You will make yourself sick waiting and worrying about things that are completely beyond your control if you don't.