Soberwolf

SashaR you are awesome congrats on making the decision to stop lean on us whenever you need I look forward to your posts friend

fini

Sasha,
i was literally terrified of my first meeting (it was a secular, non-step peer support one, and i knew i didn't even need to introduce myself as "i'm an alcoholic".)
only someone else there for the very same reason as you would recognize you. you'd both be there for a very positive reason: because you see there is a problem and you're wanting to get support in turning that around.

shame...oh yes, i carried that with me always.
it was one of the first things to "get better", dropping away in increments the longer i stayed sober. even after just a week or two i noticed i looked people in the eyes more and smiled a bit more with my head up a bit higher.

stick with it, Sasha.

chickippo

hey Sasha. i'm a mum too. my daughter has seen me passed out cold when she arrived home from school. i too lost huge chunks of time - one day at work i had to leave for a hospital appointment. when i was done, for reasons i still cannot fathom i bought a half bottle of vodka and just went home. i woke up 3 hours later to many confused messages from my manager asking if i was coming back to work. i didn't have a clue what was going on so i just apologised and went in the next day claiming a migraine.

my daughter left my home aged 13 to live with her father as she couldn't cope any more. the job lasted about a month after that. i turned up drunk one morning, went to an important meeting and ended up yelling at a director. the next day saw me resign and be admitted to a psych ward for a month.

then my husband broke up with me - we had been together 10 years. i then had to move from my gorgeous home to a 1 bedroom apartment in a rough part of town.

and none of this - NONE of it stopped me drinking. i finally quit after a withdrawal that nearly killed me. at that point i wouldn't have cared if it did.

next week i will be 18 months sober, one day at a time. AA literally saved my life in the beginning - i made sobriety my priority and it has stuck. i don't take it for granted - i don't dare.

my daughter is sitting across the room from me. she's 15 now and stays with me every weekend. i'm in a relationship which isn't without its challenges (he has custody of his 15 year old son) and i am happy in my simple life.

i do have my problems - a laundry list including Borderline Personality Disorder and some physical problems mean i am unable to work. i don't get out much, due to anxiety. i am on a LOT of medication.

i wouldn't change it for the world. please, please get some help with this. don't be me. at the end, i was drinking mouthwash in the mornings just to get me straight enough to get to the store.

see your doctor. please be well.

bounced

Me too.

Me neither.


Congratulations to everyone here who is trying to take control of their lives!!

Stick with it Sasha!