stevepearce

Hi Tux. I'm on day 10 sober and I feel a lot better already. Stick with it and it will get better. You only have to read all the stories on here to see that. Keep reading. Keep posting. Don't drink.

Tux

Well...
I didn't get all that far...

biminiblue

Uh, oh. Start again.

Don't drink and take the Librium, though. That could slow your heart rate and respiration so much that you could die.

What happened to cause you to pick up a drink?

Tux

It has been a rough week. A lot of emotional pressure. At one point I decided one or two glasses wouldn't matter. I wanted my usual routine, my music, shutting down. I don't feel so good about myself right now.

I shouldn't have. I didn't know about the librium interaction with alcohol.
I do now

Dee74

Hi Tux

there's a real leap of faith required I think - we have to believe that even tho the way is hard now, it will get easier.

We have to prepare ourselves for a little discomfort and the knowledge that challenging things will most likely still happen - but we need to find new ways to deal with them now.

You're not the first to have trouble getting up some momentum by any means, so try and not let it get you down.

When the way is hard support helps - there's a ton of support here and in our Class of October support thread

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-12.html

and other places - why not use it next time?



D

Tux

Dee74,

I have to go to the gp now. I will have a look when I get back. Just had a quick look but couldn't find the rules, so I need to look into that. I do not want to disrupt a good thing going with my low mood.

Thanks to all for not making me feel like a loser.
I wish I had found you all a bit earlier.

xxx

Dee74

Do you mean the rules of the site? they're here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html

There's no rule though that says you need to pretend to feel great if you don't.

If you feel low, you feel low - if you need support you need support - and thats what we're here for

Hope the Dr's goes ok

D

RedManc7

2 days is an achievement tux - if you can do 2 days then you can do another, hard is it seems. Re comparisons with others on here it's not a competition, no one judges because of where you are at - all on here now clean have been in real dark places, me included. There's no glamour in addiction or self righteousness in sobriety - I wouldn't come on if I thought there was. When I lapsed in past was too ashamed to come on for a while so hats off for coming on and fronting things.

I joined in middle of 2013, it took me till dec 2014 & lose of false starts to get it together. Try and take strength from the long term sober folk - I did - I was on here 10 times a day for first month clean to try and keep the addict voice at bay and remind myself what was at stake. This is a great resource for some in getting sober - was for me - I'm guessing you are on here for a reason, if this not for you this site make sure you have support- I couldn't have done it without this place (or another support network)
And first bit of sobriety is double hard - the annoyance at feeling worse than if you'd had a skinful - I'd just try and avoid judging how you feel etc and Just concentrate on getting sober time under belt. Things do get better Tux, it just might not feel it right now :-)

sugarbear1

You were going through detox and the librium helped your body not to go into shock.....try again and get past the dull feeling and know on the other side things will improve, it just takes some time!

How about an in person support group like AA or SMART?

Tux

@Redmanc7 I managed Saturday til yesterday then relapsed. Think I could consider myself fully relapsed actually. I am just not in a good place.

@Sugarbear1 I'll look up smart. I don't have the option to go to AA meetings as the times they provide here are times where I can't go

RedManc7

Addictions are degenerative as you know Tux - I relapsed consistently after not much clean time and everytime it signalled a new cycle of insanity, when I first tried to quit heroin I was using $150-300 a day when I quit I needed that to get out of bed and was doing $750-900 a day, gets scary as time passes. I run my own company and used the fact I had to work as a reason for using - I'd turn up wackoed to give client presentations, I didn't have time to cold turkey - I didn't make my addiction a priority for a long time - I think you mentioned you work and career commitments etc, is the AA meeting times not working for you down to work commitments as such?

Tux

@RedManc7 The times they offer here are around the times that I have to pick up my little one from school. I don't have family here (as I am not from this country) and my husband his family live far away. So, most if not all comes down to me. I work freelance, so it is a bit all over the place.

Powerless1957

Hi Tux, i had some lack appetite, but understandable as the body is going through a few phsyological changes i imagine, librium will give you some needed breathing space and suppress the initial craving which will drift away sure enough... i am around 10 months since a relapse which left me flat on my back wired up in psyciatric ward, a moment i don´t really want to repeat ever again... truth is you have got to genuinely want to quit I had to take a different tack this time around and find out cognitively why my subconcious instinct was to throw vodka down my neck because i felt so unhappy in my own skin.. cutting a long story short the therapy actually worked now when it hadn´t in the past for several reasons... All i can say is there is help out there once clarity of mind has returned, breaking up time into little manageable segments like a few hours or a day helps psycologically while you are healing.. If you need to focus your mind away from craving there are any number of meetings you could attend through the day or evening, i went to AA initally when i felt low and today i go to may be one a month only as i realised through my CBT that they were becoming negative after a while.... today i feel like any other person with normal reactions and emotions, recovery is inevitable and then just leads on to coping with life - there´s no miracle or mysticism involved, just knowing, understanding and addressing the underlying issues that urged us to drink or use, you will feel better soon, have faith in yourself :-)