Dismas

Welp, I just started quitting booze this week, and its torturous. I have absolutely nothing to do, I have no friends, no girlfriends to do anything with. I've tried to join meetups, but meetings are few and far between, and even then they're not really very fun, its just awkward being with a bunch of strangers.

At least I used to have booze to look forward to before. Is this going to be the rest of my life. going to work then return home to absolutely nothing?! Maybe being an alcoholic is better than this, I don't know.

Sorry my first post here is a whining one.

Cow

Ooh, I loves a whiner. I write book on psss and moan.

Welcome. Is lot of folk here happy to be you friend, and real world friends will come. First job is to get YOU in order. Just think of this way, even though is lot of boring moments (and I total understand that) each of those moment is one moment closer to healthy sober life with lot more possibility than you got as a drunk, yes?

Berrybean

No - things will get better. You're just in transition between lifestyles. Give it time

Bird615

I found out pretty quick that there's more to quitting drinking than just not drinking.

Read around the site to see what other people are doing. Different things work for different people. The point is, it will take some work to get sober and want to stay that way. My life began when I stopped drinking and started working a recovery program.

My solution to the problems you describe is to belong to a recovery group of people that are like me. There I get to share my experience, strength and hope with other people that "get it" while learning how to live my life happily without relying on alcohol.

I had to keep going for a while until all those strangers weren't strangers any more. Now some of them are becoming friends.

I may always be an alcoholic, but now I can be a sober one with a good life instead of a practicing, miserable one that wished I was dead.

Stick around and keep posting and welcome to SR!

biminiblue

Welcome I had to actively go out and find people, they didn't come knocking on my door. Well, the Mormons did, but that's a whole other can of worms.

How about volunteering? I met a lot of people with similar personalities when I volunteered at the animal shelter. I really loved it and found some friends.

gonzo51511

Yes i can totally relate to your post.. i am in early sobriety as well and my life is totally different now.. i dont even watch tv anymore, not interested in much of anything but AA.. i barely talk to anyone except my sponsor.. i dont know, this recovery thing has been pretty strange.. ups and downs for sure.. but im not just quitting drinking, my hole life is on overhaul, good luck

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Dismas.

I agree with bim; volunteering is a great way to meet people. and as Joanne, a recovery support is another way to meet people with common goals.

You could join a Class here on SR; I'll find the link and post it for you. While it's not '3D real-life', you find a lot of real-life sharing.

Really glad you found us.

SoberLeigh

As promised:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

Berrybean

A social life definitely takes more organising than a drinking one did, as I'm being reminded this weekend after not getting plans in place for this evening while OH away for the weekend!

But a calm night in with a few treats is sometimes nice anyway. I'm having a snuggle-down night with seafood; warm PJs and a film (if I can find one that takes my fancy) or a good book if not. And after phoning and emailing a bit, I've got a bit more organised for tomorrow. Coffee date with one sober pal in the morning, and lunch with another, then my home group AA meeting in the evening.

This is the chance we get to do all the things we couldn't do before because it would have interrupted our drinking

Dismas

Thanks for all of the friendly replies and welcomes, guys. It nice to at least get a reply sometimes.

Thanks for the link, Soberleigh, I'll see about joining the class.

least

Welcome to the family. It does get better if you stay sober.

waynetheking

Welcome to SR dismas! Heres the good news, it gets better with each day of sobriety. I guarantee it. I had to forget about my social life for about 9 months. The reason being I needed to concentrate on my sobriety. Alcoholism was killing me. Social settings was the least of my concern. My advice is to just get busy about staying sober, your friends and family will return in due time.

Tc4ever

The beginning Is not a pretty sight, but it's so do able. If nothing else try stepping outside the box and do some things different.

Gottalife

Actually, there are people who turn up at their first meeting full of enthusiasm. They give a great talk on how wonderful it is to be here, and how wonderful all "you" people are, and how "together" they are and it was just so kind of "you" to let me into this meeting blah blah blah. They are usually high or drunk.

Most of us come to a meeting as the absolute last resort. I was full of guilt, shame and remorse, felt hopeless, was too frightened to speak, and the only person I knew was the guy who took me.

Practically the only thing I remember was this old guy called Joe, who had a bright yellow bush shirt and a big smile. And he was pleased to see me! That was a new experience.

It was quite a while before I would say anything in a meeting. I spent my time in athe back keeping out of sight of the chair, and looking at the floor. And I listened. And the more I listened the more I realised I was in the right place.

Soberwolf

Welcome Dismas

Dropsie

Dismas,

I got to admit it, you right, it is boring sometimes. Like now, I am bored. Plain and simple.

Old days I would be on the horn planning a drunk Sunday lunch, trip to the pub, whatever, but I wouldn't be bored.

So now I do a lot of those things sober, but sometimes I got to admit that its just not the same -- doing the same things, with the same folks, only difference, no booze.

Which is when I know I really do have a problem -- just in case I forgot for a second.

Welcome to your new cyber friends -- only weird part is that I am always thinking someone is a gal and its a guy or vice versa, but I got used to that.

MelindaFlowers

The first week was so tough. I didn't know how to "do" five PM sober. I felt like an alien on a strange planet. Come to think of it I didn't know how to do 5:30, 6:00, 6:10.......you get the point. And how did one go to sleep exactly without passing out from 12 or so drinks.

It was all foreign and I felt outside of my body but in all honesty that was better than the terrorizing hangovers I had had everyday for years.

I knew it would get better.

I spent about eight hours a day/night in here at first. Sometimes much more. It helped fill my time and keep me mono-focused on sobriety. I read posts dating back years.

Please take my word for this one. I haven't had a drink in 16 months and it gets so much better. Do you remember how you felt before you ever drank? Like pretty good and comfortable in your own skin? That's how I feel now and you will too. I feel fine and normal. I was a daily drinking end-stage alcoholic. I had to stop or I would have died. Healthy now.